Day 163

Friday October 4th, 2013

Too bad the police had no idea what I was talking about this morning when I showed up and the traffic officer I talked to yesterday focus himself on a bus to Kampala earlier this morning. 

Did I mention I hate the police? I show up at 9, not only does the new traffic officer I'm dealing with not even greet me, but insists that I'm late and that I was supposed to be present at 8:30. What in the hell? No. I wrote it down. 

Needless to say that the police this morning was a fiasco. I don't have the route. They kept complaining and asking where my colleagues were. There was a serious communication issue. I was happy to be done with that. 

Except now I don't have a route. Oh well. I suppose there is still time. 

I have to also say that my butt bones and my vaginal cushion are no match for the hills and rocks in the streets not to mention my rock hard bike seat. 

Lord help my lady parts. 

Had a volunteer come visit. Went to city top, that Indian restaurant which I love, but my belly is always jacked up afterwards.  But I still eat it because its delicious and I didn't have to cook it for it to be that way. 

Found ourselves at a rotaract meeting at one of the local universities. The cute little mine Rotarians. Mind you, I've decided I may not like rotary. 

We did get invited to a bunch of social outings. Too bad we have training when they are happening. 

I haven't decided yet if that was sarcasm or not. 

Decided to go out. Skipped around and first encountered a silent disco. I've heard people rave about them, we walked away. 

Found ourselves at the usual spot where we bargained with our driver and holy hell!!! We got him to come down and we got others to agree with our price. Felt like a boss after that. 

Untouchable. 

Overall I would have to say day equals success. 

Success. 

Day 162

Thursday October 3rd, 2013

I hate the police. They are rude and pompous and very self righteous.

I also love the sign in their office talking about, "Don't bribe me. This is my job," as they proceed to ask me what it is that I will be providing for them for the World AIDS Day event. What in the hell?!?

Anyways, I managed to acquire a private car with the police tomorrow to map the route of the 5k. Too excited!! I get to ride with the police!! In their car which is nice because I'm not sure that I could manage on my bike. 

Holy.

This morning it did only take me 9 minutes to reach the police station albeit I was sweaty and exhausted and my body is hurting mostly my vagina. It feels like someone punched it repeatedly with brass knuckles on. It's quite an uncomfortable feeling.

Did some work on the facebook page today. I swear facebook is taking over my life again. I'm over it. Although I'm sure I won't quite be over it until my service is over. Yikes.

I found myself at a rotary club meeting tonight. Holy mother eff. The ride there was torturous. Although I'm sure it was only like three or five miles. All I know is that getting there and then getting back was a bitch and I'm beginning to question my bike purchase. 

Everyone was very nice to me though and it was nice to extend my idea and request support from the community, BUT I found that they are having their own marathon and it's supposed to be on the same day as ours? What? I'm a bit confused. 

Damn supervisor.

Time for dinner. Peanut butter and bread. Can't stop eating it. 

It has been decided. Peanut butter is the devil, in eatable form. Yup. Eatable. 

Day 161

Wednesday October 2nd, 2013

Showered for the first time in some time today. I really need to get better at this whole bathing thing. It seems that no matter how many times I bathe whether daily or weekly, I can't manage to get used to that cold water.

Well I washed my hair too. First time for that in three weeks. I'm surprised I even have any hair left. It is really quite remarkable.

I was feeling adventurous today and so I made egg salad sandwiches. Everyone wonders how I keep the mayo without a fridge and through thorough google searches I have discovered that refrigeration is required to preserve flavor, not the product itself and so I now have an opened unrefrigerated tub of mayo in my kitchen.

Life is good.

Aside from my culinary enterprises, I also folded and took inventory of my clothes before I found myself out of the house where I set up a meeting with the District Police Commander (this may be wrong, but I do know that the meeting was made with the head police guy, so this seems right). I emailed my executive director about the World AIDS Day budget. I'm starting to worry.

Ooh!! And I bought a bike. I think my life will be forever changed.

Forever.

Did I mention I'm now a member of a bike club? Yup.

Today was a good day.

Day 160

Tuesday October 1st, 2013

Holy we are in the Octobers!! Thank the mother eft!! Just two more months and I am out of here!!

Unless of course the government stays shut down for over what? 16 days? All I know is that I want to be sent home. I'd do it for a government shut down. Can't believe the American government shut down.

Shame.

More training today on the American government's dime. Yeah because that makes sense.

 I may just kill my coworker. He doesn't understand how very real the danger is. He is such an annoying pompous lazy ass know it all. And I need people to stop treating me as if I am 12. I am 26 with a bachelor's degree and work experience.

Gheezeus. Please. Kill me.

I cooked my meat, which I wasn't able to get to for some time today because of the damn training. It stressed me out. I did the smell test, which here doesn't really work because the beef smells weird anyways. The cows are different and eat lots of garbage. I wonder if this is what garbage tastes like...

Oh yuck.

I had to stop eating my spaghetti. Even though I really really wanted it and it was tasting oh so good. From my google searches to the advice of the fiancé amongst others I became terrified and stopped. Worst bit is that i had parmesan. Made it soooo tasty!

Next time I buy meat, I'm cooking it that day. That or just not buying meat anymore. I haven't decided just yet.

Day 159

Monday September 30th, 2013

Today I started a grants writing training. Too bad I feel that I can't at all be bothered to sit through this training where the Ugandan trainer continues to point out the fact that the money for this training and the food is being paid by the American people.

Yes. Stop staring. I am one of those American people.

Day 158

Sunday September 29th, 2013

One week no smoking. Kill me.

I made a new (non)friend today.

I wake up early and so even though I went to bed last night after two in the morning, I was up by 7/8 and instead of being considerate of my company, I instead decided that I was very interested in cleaning my house, which in light of yesterday's events, I was. I also had a boatload of laundry to do. 

So I quietly excused myself from my bed, proceeded to my bathroom where I closed the door and began to talk to my fiancé while I hand washed all my clothes.

Eventually my company woke and I was informed how she was restless and wanted to go to town. I was still doing laundry. She said I could meet her. That's fine. I now wash my sheets. Bed bugs my ass.

Apparently I was taking too long or I hit a nerve, but I got a call from my company and realized that I would no longer be entertaining this Sunday. Worst bit is that when I found this out I was relieved as I was thinking how I just washed my sheets and how I didn't want another person sleeping in them. 

Problem solved.

So I would have to say that today was a productive Sunday. I cleaned like hell. Laundry, bathroom (and I scrubbed), living room, bedroom, AND I rearranged my furniture. The two items that I have. 

I'm satisfied and feeling quite rejuvenated. 

Hotel rules begin now.

Day 157

Saturday September 28th, 2013

Last night was a mistake. I had to be up early this weekend and now... Shoot me. 

Introduction ceremony. My supervisor took me this week to purchase traditional dress for the function so that's how I get dressed to meet the bride to be in town. Except I don't meet her. I meet her friends. 

Then I meet her. It's 8:30/9 in the morning on a Saturday and I'm walking through town dehydrated and still a little drunk with droopy eyes that I tried to wake up with mascara meeting people for the first time. This impression isn't the best one to make. 

Day 156

Friday September 27th, 2013

Today you could crown me with the title "Queen Bitch," and I would take it not only with a smile, but with happy tears in my eyes.

I sent the Kampala girl an email informing her of her poor deed. She promised to correct it on Monday. I felt like a complete bitch as I questioned her reasoning for not even mentioning me at all in the email concerning the page. She apologized and seemed to see where I was coming from, which I tried hard to do in the least bitchy way possible.

I'm not sure it came across that way.

I was also called last night about two PCVs coming to stay the night with me. Problem, which wasn't a problem then, but became a problem today when there was still no communication about their accommodations, with me. 

After I came from my failed attempts at corresponding with the police and the mayor, I was with another PCV who was staying the night that night at a local restaurant who actually had been in contact with the girls who were staying the night. 

I still had nothing. So I asked for the one's number, messaged her and asked what was up so I could plan my day as I hadn't heard anything. She then informed me that she figured everything was ok because the other PCV who isn't staying had asked for them last night. 

In what world? Especially when I have been introduced to you once and when I find my friend, you've been asking her directions of where I live. Don't you think you should be asking me these things? Just maybe?

So I told her I felt like a hotel and how she was taking advantage especially since we didn't really know each other. Instead of apologizing or feeling at all bad that I was made to feel that way, she instead told me that they didn't have to stay with me if it was a problem. 

I informed her at this point, that it may be best. Because no you don't have to stay with me. I was just being nice for nice sakes. Thank you for showing me what not to do next go round. 

Rude. 

The afternoon turned itself around when I was approached by some random Canadian who works for the organization that I have been trying to locate and link up with since nearly the beginning of my time here in Mbarara. 

Well there she was with all my answers and a working email and ahhh. I can breathe again. Discouragement barred!

Time for celebration. 

Tonight was my cherry popping for the sachets of alcohol. Mini baggies of putrid spirits to rest in your soul and make you drunker than you'd ever imagine. Yup. I had those. About three. 

Found ourselves all over the place hopping from bar to bar and then I ended up home and drunk. Oh the joys. So a pair of samosas and order of chips later and I'm feeling ready for bed.

Too bad I have to still do my squats. Mother eff.

Day 155

Thursday September 26th, 2013

I finally got the money PC owed me from back in July!! Yay!!

Too bad I now feel rich and so I'm spending money like a crazy person. 

Putting the finishing touches on my letter to his "Lordship" and to the police. I'm going to try to go see them tomorrow. 

I have mostly been on Facebook today though. Jeniffer hasn't been around, she's doing her studies for her exams for school and so I've been making my own programs. So far that has entailed my letter writing and a Facebook page for the AIDS Information Center (find us on Facebook and like us!!) 

I have been uploading pictures, writing stats, inviting people, posting articles and trying to defend my honor as the girl from the main branch in Kampala who I added as admin to help manage the page sent an email out before I did and took entire credit for all my dilly dallying. 

She doesn't know how badly I want to yank her hair and punch her in the throat. Total temporary incapacitation. 

Not like I need the credit for everything I do, but I don't do much and I am helping you, why would you tell people this was all you? Witch. With a B. Capital B. can not stand this culture of no work, but taking credit for it. 

So instead of rebutting her email, I instead decide to start the third season of the league. I'm pretty sure I have a problem, but I'm also pretty sure that show is hilarious. 

You're spared this time Kampala girl. You've been spared this time. 

Day 154

Wednesday September 25th, 2013

More network issues. 

I'm over this. 

I'm again writing these letters to the mayor and town clerk and all these people introducing the idea of the marathon and to secure the park here in town. 

I'm frustrated. 

Also why do I have to title the one letter his "Lordship" the mayor? Is this real? The hierarchy and the way people deal with humans is so funny here. There is truly a structure when it comes to "respect" and accessibility and expectations. 

This I can't stand. 

I can get my own chair, my own tea, I can serve myself. It's ok. You're not my slave. Promise. 

A little off. Just a little. 

Day 153

Tuesday September 24th, 2013

So I'm bringing together this idea of World AIDS Day and my job is annoying me about it. 

They really just let me do whatever I want and they've given me the words of verbal support, but that's it. No one seems to understand that I don't know this place and that I might need there help. 

So I'm annoyed. I'm also annoyed because the network is down so I can't do anything on the Internet. I can't get my mail, can't go on Facebook, can't google anything, and I can't play my games!!!

I'm a lost little sheep. 

I need my shepherd of 3G. Add on the plus so I can be found with lightning speed! 

Day 152

Monday September 23rd, 2013

My guest left today with a bit of a push from me. I had to be up and out of the house by 7:30 to be at a high school by 8/8:30. 

It was the most nerve wracking thing. There were over a thousand students and I had to do a five minute sensitization on HIV/AIDS. I also had to get clearance from the headmaster to talk about sex and condoms. 

I messed up a little, caught up in what i was saying, but the nice thing is that I got the kids to be a bit interactive. I then was later told that few people understood me because of my accent. 

Whoops. 

So while I was giving my presentation my counterpart wanted to take pictures. Ooh I had to delete so many things. And as I was deleting my counterpart was over my shoulder looking at every little thing. Now I know you're curious, but please, before I get killed. 

After the high school musical bit, my program manager for Peace Corps came to visit. It was so nice to see her. My counterpart wasn't around to meet with her so it was just me, my PM, and my supervisor. 

My PM invited me out to have dinner with the global health volunteers and for me it was a mistake. 

I don't really feel like I belong when I'm with them. It's an unsettling feeling. I'm foreign, they are foreign and yet we couldn't be more different. The one lady complains or rather states that they never see me, that I'm never around, but then I'm not invited to anything and they go everywhere!!

We also live very different lives under this Peace Corps title. They have hot water. For their kitchen sinks!!! What?!? And huge places. To themselves. AND they have bathtubs!!! Bathtubs!!! What the hey? 

When I hear them complain in wondering about what. They all live with other mzungus and don't have to leave their compound if they don't want. Our lives are just different. 

And so I felt to hurry and leave that dinner. That and it wasn't too tasty. 

It probably didn't help that today is the day that I decided to quit smoking. Stupid quitter attitude in me. 

So I was happy when I got driven home. The joys of being in with PC. 

Day 151

Sunday September 22nd, 2013

My guest is a farter. In her sleep farts. They wake me up. Often. 

I blame the guac. 

We at leftover guac. I also made curry.   Glad someone else got to enjoy the deliciousness that is my curry. Yum. Except I clearly welcome the farts. 

Gheezeus. 

My counterpart called to brief me on a sensitization we are doing tomorrow. Chatted my ear off on the phone about it. Apparently se didn't think I got it because five minutes after she hung up, she then knocked on my door an let herself into my house and went over everything that she had said on the phone again. 

I feel like I'm twelve and that I don't have any experience. 

I'll show you. 

I'll show you with my next big idea. I'm thinking to open something here. I'm gonna quit Peace Corps to do it. Just you wait and see. And then I will leave. Before two years. It's time to get married. 

Oh and today I bathed for the first time in literally 6 days. Uganda has shown me that new levels of grossness were attainable. 

And I thought my limit was relieving my nose into my socks. 

Showed me. 

Day 150

Saturday September 21, 2013

Clothing market!! I love Africa, Uganda in particular because except for Kampala there aren't really any malls no even of those malls clothing stores like chained and not second hand are few. 

I love Uganda because it is a huge thrift store!!! Everyday is like walking into Amvets or Goodwill. And I love Amvets AND Goodwill!

So anyways my counterparts house girl who I keep guess is her niece took me to our Saturday clothing market. 

I was in heaven although Happy nearly passed out because the sun was so intense and she didn't have any water. I ended up letting her drink out of my camel back, using my scarf for shade and buying her a water. I couldn't have her dying on me. 

After my Liz Claiborne dress find for 5k also know as less than $2, we met up with another volunteer and her coworker for lunch. 

That was a little weird as I'm pretty sure there may be a love affair happening there. That or sex. One of the two. 

Guac an chapat chips for dinner then we decided to go out. Met up with a few of her coworkers. Hopped around a bunch of bars. Danced. Like crazy. I smoked like crazy. 

And then, BAM. Argument time. Long distance relationships aren't easy. So I ran away to yell on the phone. 

Then I got yelled at by my friend as she was terrified because she didn't know where I was and thought I was dead. She cried. I almost laughed. I blame it on the alcohol. 

After that it was time to go home. And now it's time for bed. 

Did my squats first though. Boom. 

Day 149

Friday September 20th, 2013

Went to a health fair with my work where we were doing testing and counseling. There wasn't a flow of where patients should go or the order in which they should visit partner booths or a way in which blood would be taken, results would be given. It was a headless chicken shit show. 

They asked me to help. I felt a little lost. As I began to make suggestions, not only was I ignored, but I was completely ignored as if I wasn't speaking at all. Wel then. Ok. 

They asked me if I could do counseling. No not in local language, but English yes. We are at a local university, most students have a good grasp of English. I can do this. I ask where I can go/help and I get shut down again. 

At this point I find myself isolated in the shade, not under the counseling tent with my coworkers and I only feel slightly bad about the segregation. Slightly. 

The only good part was that I was able to smash some dreams in which Neely every singly Ugandan thinks that America is just like you see in the movies aka big with cities, no trees, and everyone is rich. 

If only that was America. 

I was so over not being able to help or looked at like I could be helpful that when some other volunteers told me how they were in town, I most definitely got up and walked the half mile to where they were. No worries boys. Oh and it's three thirty. No. I'm not coming back inconsiderate coworker. 

Think I'm going to make myself a schedule today for structure. It's needed. 

Day 148

Thursday September 19th, 2013

So, my landlady decide that she would drop off my light bill this morning. Too bad that her idea of dropping it off is through my opened window and then pushing my curtain to the side to peer into my living room. 

Fortunately or unfortunately I was privy to this as I was seated in my living room attempting to read while smoking. What in the hell lady? And the worst part? She acted and looked at me with no shame like it was not at all a big deal. 

For a cherry topper, I got jipped on my first light bill which was 12k and included a period I wasn't even living in the house. This time around it was a measy 4k. 

Seriously landlady? Seriously?

After that i showed up to work. Mistake.

Saw Edward, the Kampala coworker, and he invited me out again, but this time to go out out, like dancing and drinking out.

I can't.

More than that, I don't want to. Antisocial=social. The more I try to avoid, the more invites I get. Fuckers.

So I was around for the first half of the day going up and down with my counterpart. That got old fast and so when we got back to the office I found myself at the green shop in attempt to not spend money. 

Attempt failed. But I did get some cute new clothes!! Shorts and a shirt. :)

Apparently there is an upgrade for iPhone that I don't care about and yet I'm deleting everything off my phone like a madwoman to make room for the update. 

Wouldn't you know that once I got my storage down the phone pleasantly reminded me, only after I could do the install, that wifi was required. 

Only me. 

Ooh and!!!! My vacation was approved, which was something like a good thing since I already booked!!! So excited about this!!!

Soooo excited!!!

Ahhhhhh!!!!

Day 147

Wednesday September 18th, 2013

Smoked in my bed this evening. I'm coming to all time lows. It might be time to consider quitting as things are getting serious.

So secret secret, it was discussed today that I might get an upgrade on my engagement ring! What?! Who does that? Who talks about it and doesn't just do it? My fiance that's who. Apparently they were quite unhappy with the size of the ring and since it was their first mind, when I return back to North America in December, one of our first stops is the ring store.

I have a crazy life.

One of the workers from Kampala that I rode in to Mbarara with keeps wondering why I'm not at work as I didn't go again today. I just didn't have it in me. He invited me to dinner. I'm broke and don't feel like being social so instead I stayed home after walking to the market and buying cucumbers, which one tasted like it had begun the pickling process and a spear head that I will be gifting to one of the boys in my life as it seems like a boy kind of thing. Locally made and only 4k. That's less than two bucks. That's pretty good if I say so myself.

Other than that I've got nothing. Just another late night curled up in my bed with my computer and Orange is the New Black.

I've also realized that antisocial is the new social. At least in my world.

Day 146

Tuesday September 18th, 2013

And of course I didn't present myself at work today. Nope. Couldn't bear it. I'm also quite exhausted.

But today I did, accept the friend request from my fiance's mom after I was told to watch what I post. Apparently my rants once a month about my vagina transforming into Niagara Falls biblical style is not what my future mother in law is supposed to hear from me. Whoops.

I also began watching Orange is the New Black HBO or Lifetime or Cinemax new series. It's hilarious and I can't stop watching. I haven't yet decided if it's really true that I like all these series that I've been watching or if Africa really is just to blame.

That's about it for the day today.

Don't judge.

Day 145

Monday September 16th, 2013

And today I made my getaway.

After walking through the bowels of Uganda (don't mind the re- and over use of this phrase as it is applicable in more instances than one would imagine) to meet with the executive director of my organization to discuss my World AIDS Day idea, which he totally backed and is looking for sponsorship for me, I then found myself offered with a ride down to Mbarara.

Free ride. Escape from teammate (no offense teammate). Free ride. No bus.

What is there to really think about? Although, once I sat myself in the vehicle besides the number of people being multiplied by 10, I could have very well have been on the bus for how smushed I was. Wait. Is it smooshed or smushed? Or are they both just wrong?

Anyways, I was smushed. I did get free water and some french fries out of the deal though which was quite nice also mostly nice because I literally had 2,000 shillings to my name. Not a lot to be traveling with. I would have been screwed any other way.

So finally we got home and I must say, I do call Mbarara my home. I don't travel many places outside of it and when I leave it, I just want to get back to it. Entirely. I don't on the other hand want to go to work. Ugh.

Damn home.

Day 144

Sunday September 15th, 2013

Another lazy day. I swear homestay let me take the weight off, but I'm pretty sure the rest of my time in Uganda, I may turn into a whale. Can't say I'm too excited about this.

Movies and oversized beers. This is what Sundays are supposed to be about. Really enjoyed myself, but all the movies were a bit dumb. Tried to watch the movie I requested, Only God Forgives with Ryan Gosling, but again was told it sucked and the acoustics in the room didn't allow me to pay attention the way I felt I needed to for this movie.

Chocked full my iBooks on my phone with more/new books. I'm not sure why I bother as the book I want to read is lost in the bowels of Uganda. Shame really. I'm still hoping that one day like my shoes, that this book will present itself to me. One day.

I just hope that one day is before I go ahead on Amazon and order a new book.

Was supposed to go out again tonight. Instead I found myself on the roof of our hotel smoking cigarettes and chatting with other volunteers. It's the simple things in life.

I also managed to order Mexican take out which wasn't very good AND I let a puppy drop on its head. I've come to realize more and more why I like cats. If a kitten wanted down and jumped off my lap, she might land a little wobbly, but she'd land on her feet. Today I learned that puppies don't land on their feet. They land on their heads.

Puppies are dumb. End of story. Aka come January, we've got kittens on board!

Boom.

Day 143

Saturday September 14th, 2013

Lazy day. I like it. Didn't do much.

Did try to go see a movie. That turned into an adventure. Locked my teammate in the room on account of I'm crazy. So I took the room key with me as I was headed out to the movies and instead of leaving the door open and just taking the key with me I took the key and locked a poor sleeping girl in the room. Yup. Locked her in good.

Another thing I'm really good at is leaving my phone on vibrate only and then not paying attention to it. Either my phone is attached to my fingertips or it is completely lost in a black abyss that I develop some irrational fear of and so it just stays there. This day I had a mix of both. Fingertips to black abyss.

Luckily the locked in girl found herself locked in just as I was headed down the steps and just as my phone was coming out of the black abyss and back into my fingertips I received a call. Again, luck was on her side, because if I had missed the call I wouldn't have been able to call her back as I do not keep my phone littered with airtime, I just kind of keep it there. If people want to call me they can. If they want to text, I hope they don't want a response because I can't respond as that also requires airtime.

So I realize I locked her in, walk the keys back up to her and then head back on my way to the movies that we are now going to be late to. It isn't until we have passed the one part of the shopping center and are walking into the next that I realize that we are walking to the wrong center. We walk all the way up there anyways as both have theaters. Unfortunately, when we look, it doesn't list the movie we want to see. So we walk the five minutes to the other theatre, now sure that we are missing it as I've heard there are no previews.

Well we walk there and our movie is listed, except when we go to pay for the ticket, the attendant informs us that the movie actually isn't playing at this theatre, but at the sister theatre we just came from.

You're kidding me right? We tried to flash our mzungu card and see if they would start the movie over for us if we walked back, the attendant told us it would mess up the schedule as she informed another patron of a push back of times for another show.

Needless to say it was time to get something to eat at that point. Instead, we found something to drink. Lemon ginger tea that had enough ginger to feed all of India. My mouth was on fire and because I no longer live in America and customer service is a bit different, I wasn't offered my money back or anything new off the menu, but simply some sugar to help take off the edge. Then water. When I left my drink nearly all the way full I also was well received with multiple stink eyes.

Hence, I did not tip.

The night ended better, with me and a few other people heading out, drinking, dancing, late night food runs. It felt like America, but it wasn't. Overall I would have to say it was a successful day.

If only tomorrow can be as successful.

Day 142

Friday September 13, 2013

Friday the thirteenth.

The plan is to do something creepy. We didn't stick to the plan.

Instead I am making plans for my layover in Cairo, Egypt such as going to the hotel, eating as much of their food as possible, bathing in hot water, shaving my legs in hot water, trimming other areas in hot water, and straightening my hair. Oh and I will be taking a nap at some point, while the hot water is running.

Too excited for that layover. Too, too excited.

So, I'm ready to leave Kampala. Instead I'm staying until Tuesday. Please shoot me in the foot so I have an excuse to leave. Anyways, the fact that Kampala still has wonderful food is keeping me.

Did I mention that today for dinner I enjoyed ravioli with real ricotta?! Ricotta doesn't exist here, unless again of course you are in Kampala and then it does, and then it doesn't because I demolished it and it now lives in my stomach.

Exhausted tonight. Again ready to leave. Is it Tuesday yet? And I originally said I would stay through to Thursday. I was a dunce. Dunce.

Day 141

I booked my flight home today!!!!!!!! It's official. The money binds it!!! I'm going home!!! My flight is December 18. I arrive on December 19. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Why is December three months away? It feels like three years. Ugh, but!!!!!! I have my flight!

I'm also done with allvol. Thank the. 

There were just too many people for me all yelling over each other all peacocking and to be frank, I need not to be shown off to. I could care less about your degree and your successes. In the end you'll be in the ground just like me, oh and right, we are BOTH in Peace Corps and I haven't done half that shit. Right. 

Had a visit with medical today. Went for physical therapy. It was marvelous. I fell asleep. Still can't completely lift my leg, but the guy says things will be fine. I'm just ready to stop walking funny. That's my only Christmas wish. If I'm going to be home for New Years, then I need to be able to wear heels. 

Game over. 

I don't want to hang with my teammate anymore. I'm over being around people, so much so that I nearly packed all my stuff up and just left. 

I don't think I'm a real people person. What has Peace Corps done to me?

I did manage to find myself at a steak dinner tonight. Now I don't usually like steak, but holy this steak was delicious along with the garlic mashed that I got no was absolutely in love. Like love. And there was garlic sauce on the side. Yum. 

One good thing about Kampala. The food. 

So if I'm not a people person, I am a food person. Yes indeed. 

 

Day 140

Wednesday September 11, 2013

I didn't attend a single session today. I mostly just hung around and talked to people some more. Downloaded seasons of shows to my computer. Pretended I was interested in most things that I wasn't. 

It was a good afternoon. Until... 

Until of course I found a bug in my food at lunch. Now when I say bug in my food I mean bug, in my mouth in my food. All of a sudden I felt something unpleasant, put my finger in my mouth and pulled out a full out bug. I nearly vomited.  

I also stopped eating food for the rest of that day. Worst part about that is that the food was actually pretty good this time around. I always try to eat as much as I can at these training a as the food is free. I don't get much free food these days. 

I barely ate dinner either. Just fruit. I wasn't scared of the fruit, I am though ready to escape all these people. 

There is this one group of girls in particular that if I knew where they slept I may find my way in there at night and accidentally fall on their face with a pillow. They are so incredibly loud. So loud. And I'm all about a good time, but I swear it's like they slipped laughing gas into their oxygen supplies along with a mechanism that makes them deaf so they scream louder than the average bear to be heard. 

Dumb girls. 

Anyways thank the that this is the last night. I'm ready. 

I'm not ready to be in Kampala for so many days though.

The tangled web I weave. Ugh. 

Day 139

Tuesday September 10th, 2013

Today I met the Ambassador. I think he's pompous. I was sitting through his speech and playing games the whole entire time on my phone. 

Then came the trainings. Which was fine. It was interesting to see how the trainings were set up. The week or so before we arrived we were informed about this free space where we would be able to determine what we wanted the lectures to be. We the volunteers set them and then we taught them as well. 

The sessions ended up going really really well.

I enjoyed myself. Talked about World AIDS Day. It was very informative. Also about the radio stations and working with them which was nice.

Night time came around and I must say I am enjoying all this with people around and what not. Drank a little, mostly talked. Tried to get secrets out of some people, I was unsuccessful.

I did although find a fourth for spades. Our usual fourth wasn't there and so we found a substitute. Unfortunately this substitute wasn't as fun as our usual and so I'm not sure that we will play again with her tomorrow. We didn't even finish our last game. Yes. We think she sucks.

Found cockroaches in my bed. I swear. Why do cockroaches love me here in Uganda? Why do they rule the world here?! Why?!!!!!!

I fear that I may go back to America and find that roaches live inside of the hollows of my brain. Eat away effers. Eat away.

Day 138

Monday September 9th, 2013

I'm looking at flights again. I'm sitting and waiting for the nights to pass me by so I can open my eyes and view the familiar sights of the three Fs and North America. I'm ready for it.

Traveling to Kampala today. Not prepared, except we have a ride!! Thank the fuck. No bus, no randoms. No nonsense.

Enter random kid, who wasn't so random to my teammates counterpart aka the driver, but is completely random to me. Ugh. I wanted to hit him. Hard. He kept kicking me and his nanny lady was weird as fuck.

Day 137

Sunday September 8th, 2013

It's been decided that Quentin Tarantino, as much as I may not like his films, or at least Django Unchained, that he is going to direct our movie. That or at least make a cameo.

Had take out tonight. It was delicious. I have been eating so much and honestly, I don't even care. Ordered masala chips and beans and rice. Yes. Beans and rice. It was effing delicious. So delicious.

Helped my teammate clean up so that she could be ready to leave two years behind her.

Wine. More wine. And here we go. She got a little weird and questioned me about my fiancé and my happiness. Enh. Not too impressed.

Earlier, the frogs attacked. A bajillion frogs were sitting and attacking our feet!! Literally these frogs are gross and the way they croak. Ugh. The dog kept thinking she wanted to play with them. She didn't. Apparently they secrete some sort of poison. Whoops.

Chill night. And tomorrow we get to go to Allvol. I'm not ready to be around all the volunteers here in Uganda. Too many people. Too many personalities.

Lord help me.

Day 136

Saturday September 7th, 2013

Day wine and tanning. Today I was a happy girl.

Happier when I found myself witness to a break dance competition where seven and 12 year olds were breakdancing to the death! It was awesome!! I took over 300 pictures. Oh and I think I found a little boy that I am trying to work out the adoption papers on.

After the competition, teammate took me to a mzungu house where the couple works for either the UN or USAID or something and holy hell! There place was spectacular. Huge compound. Huge house, with multiple floors AND they had taco bell sauces available for their amazing dinner on top of bacardi and spiced rum. I was in heaven.

Oh did I mention the countertop and stove with an oven and a blender? Like a blender that made whole black beans into refried not whole black beans? Yes. Those burritos were delicious.

Also, there were Marlboros and Camels available for my smoking pleasure. I felt like i was in America.

Speaking of, back in America, my fiancé and mother met up. Weird. They decided to spend some quality time together. Had a little chat about the guest list which is nice. I got to see pictures of my kitty who I miss greatly!! Also, apparently they are looking at venues. I want to throw my guts up.

I wonder what they decided.

Day 135

Friday, September 6th, 2013

On a bus again. God. I wish that I could drive again. I feel like I'm going to forget how to drive. What if I am stuck taking public transportation for the rest of my life?! I don't know if I can do that! I want to drive!! Drive I say.

I really hope it's just like riding a bike.

So I'm headed up to Gulu where I had my tech training to visit my tech week trainer who is soon COSing (close of service) aka she gets to go back home to America. All I can say about that is that part of me hates her and part of me is extremely happy for her. She's a teammate and this is no place to be playing the game. The rules aren't the same and the umps don't play fair.

And for that I'm jealous. I'm ready just to hear rude comments and get funny looks, well I guess I do get that here, but I'm ready for that to be my only repercussion.

Anyways, the north is hot as balls. I swear I have had some stored up inside of me, but the temperature was never high enough for them to make a safe descendent. Thank you Gulu for giving them the opportunity. They have fully dropped and are not currently sweating themselves off.

My bus ride as usual was cramped and too hot for comfort. I sat next to someone, so I was as usual in the aisle. When the fiancé gets here I can't wait to have the two seat row and sit by the window. Yup. I am that selfish.

When getting off my bus I was thoroughly confused and did not know where I was. Luckily my seat mate did. So he directed me, found myself at a lovely mzungu place where I was able to whip out my phone, grab some good food and meet another volunteer from my group who I haven't seen since tech week. Lucky duck, he lives in Gulu.

Anyways after our chat, I found my way to my teammates house and holy the people in the north are so much friendlier than those in the south! Considerably so.

I smile, they smile back. I say hello, they say hi and not I'm fine. It's lovely. AND!!!! The women ride bikes here!! In their skirts!! I'm in love!! Ahhhhhh!!!

So anyways, I make it to my teammates and guess what I see? A rainbow. I think that it knew that I needed it today. So there it was just nestled gently amongst the clouds and then surprised me further when it showed me it had a twin.

I was happier than happy. It made me feel at peace and welcomed in Uganda. Even the sky appreciated teammates. Thank you Ugandan sky. =)

As for my night, that turned into a shit show. Got hit on by some creeper guy. Didn't like it. Then got free tequila shots, then got a burger that potentially was filled with Mad Cow Disease where the night then proceeded to open up for me a free room which was weird because that just doesn't happen. Ever.

Oh well!! Free drinks! Leg hopping contests AND free rooms!!

The hot water wasn't working properly though.

Damnit.

Day 134

Thursday September 5th, 2013

Appointment with the doctor today. Yay. I love going to hospitals. Especially here in Uganda. Even though I have never been taken to it, makes me feel like I'm always headed to my demise as I feel like I'm going to wind up in the basement of the hospital from that movie, The Last King of Scotland. 

No thank you. Again, not a movie you watch right before you board a plane for Uganda, Africa. Just a

Day 133

Wednesday September 4, 2013

Back on the road again. I swear it feels like I live in Kampala and not Mbarara and I won't be back at site for something like two weeks. I'm not sure if I packed properly for all of this time away.

Today is the day that I have decided that I absolutely hate public transportation. Absolutely. When I got on the bus there was a free spot all the way in the back of the bus and  so I asked if anyone was sitting there. I was told no, but maybe I wasn't understood.

I'm sitting and here comes this big man who looks at me stands there in front of me and points to the open seat next to the one I'm currently sitting in. 

Worst part, like a punk, I move over. I find myself now seated in the crack of two seats because that then allows me to have a full seat to myself with space on either side of me since those other seats are occupied by the big man and another man who I'm fearing to catch something from. Yes. That is the shallow judge metal part of me. 

His skin was really bad. I was nervous. I didn't show it though. So the shallow was concealed. 

So this bus ride is miserable at it is hard to seat your crack in a crack and my luggage didn't help. Stupid public transportation. 

So I the moment I decided I hated public transportation wasn't when the big man decided to use me as a personal rest for his items, not when he decided to cough, cough, cough with no covering of his nasty germs. Nope. The moment came when the big man dug into his nose, I swear there were diamonds in there, brought something to the surface and wiped it on the chair seated directly in front of me. 

As I turned my head in disgust, Mr. Expose My Shallow was also engaged in a mining experience. And that was when it was decided that I can not wait to get back to America to drive my own car with people that I select to ride in it. 

Holy gross.

Yup. So that's how that was decided.

Anyways. Made it into Kampala. Finally and also with not a touch of booger on me. I was quite meticulous as I made my way out of that seating arrangement though. The shivers that just went through me...

Anyways. Made it, didn't need to go to Peace Corps office, which was nice so I made it to my accommodations and then called a Ugandan friend to meet me for some food and drinks. I forget though that I need to be careful with that because in Uganda you don't invite someone to share their company, when you invite someone out, it is to pay for their good time. I don't have the funds to be paying for other people's good times. I can barely afford my own.

Anyways, I manage to google map the location of this restaurant that I hear has pretty awesome burgers. Let me tell you, they don't, although their fries with mayo were to die for!! Thick cut potato wedges with zingy mayo. Felt like I was in Belgium. May be time to go back to Europe.

So I'm walking to this restaurant and wouldn't you know that my janky leg would come from underneath me and yup, there I am, one moment crossing the street, the next I'm down. In the street. How this happens? Not quite sure. Worst part. Oh right, there is the grate of truck six inches from the side of my face, not to mention I'm pretty sure my pride was stuck somewhere in it.

Overall I have to say that it was a good trip to Kampala.

Bailed on a birthday party that my friend invited me to because I just couldn't be bothered. I'm tired too much. Always tired. So I fell asleep and could barely wake up.

Also met this girl who kind of scares me. The way she smokes makes me fear for my lungs. The sucking. The teeth. The inhale of the air.

Yeah... I think she needs to quit.

Day 132

Tuesday September 3rd, 2013

Cut my scalp on the pointy part of a window while walking into a school to do these 'talks.' It hurts so much. 

Many of the schools were either not open, or told me to come back. Unimpressed. Lack of program stresses me out. Entirely. 

I'm craving corn dogs. I want corn dogs in December. Please? 

Why can't it always be hot in NY like here in Uganda? I just want a corndog. 

So here in Uganda I know that everyone gassed and lots of it because everyone is running around with a shit ton of kids, my thing is that unless its a health talk you never hear anyone talking about it or doing it. 

I swear. When do you have time to have sex? When do you have sex? If I was a woman in this society, there wouldn't be any time. I'm cleaning, cooking, watching our boatload of bad ass children running around with knives and machetes and you want to put your feet up and etch me work, then climb on top of me for sex? 

No. 

No. I don't think so. Even if there is sex happening. Other than the man, who is enjoying it? The woman? I think no. Maybe that's why no one talks about it and why you never hear people. 

It happens, the kids are proof, but I'm beginning to wonder if all this women aren't like Mother Mary with sprinkled stardust of immaculate conception throughout Uganda. 

This sounds like a mystery to be solved.  

Day 131

Monday September 2nd, 2013

We are in September baby!! So so so excited!! We are in the ERs!!

I'm going home for Christmas because I'm spoiled! I'm so happy. I get to see my family and my fiancé. My good gol'. I still can't believe that I'm engaged. All I know is that there are only three more months until I can come home. So excited. Now to book.

So I bought an electric kettle the other day, but it was taking me forever to get around and wash it so I could actually use it. I used it today for the first time and holy why did I take so long to make this purchase?! I'm in water heaven! I don't have to worry about boiling water anymore! I only have to worry about the electricity being out, which it actually often is. Right, but still. This thing is AWESOME!! Such a good purchase. Minus the fact that it is entirely plastic.

I swear. Peace Corps is going to end up doing a study to determine long terms effects of daily aluminum and plastic exposure. From our aluminum pots and constant plastic use and inhalation of burning bags and bottles. Yeah. This two years is going to be hell on my health.

Doesn't at all help that I smoke, but I decided that either way due to the pollution that my boogers would still be black. Damn pollution.

So today I also decided that with the help of that other volunteer that we are doing a World AIDS Day event and that it will be a 5k marathon with activity fair here in Mbarara!! I'm so so so very excited! Nervous, but excited. I want to also tell our executive director to see what he says and see if we can swindle money. Let's see.

So it's decided. I asked back home for packages of junk that would be awesome prizes, plus I really just want bubbles. Lets see what comes. 

So beyond my excitement and decision making today, my counterpart informed me that I would be giving talks at schools. Fine. That's fine. 

My issue came in when she told me that I had to talk to an all girls school about the dangers of lesbianism. I'm sorry. What? When she told me that, my heart started beating like crazy, my cheeks flushed, as my ears grew gradually warm as if I was a cartoon character. I didn't know what to say. 

Completely at a loss for words. Nearly started crying after that. I just can't. I don't feel at all comfortable with that. 

I've decided that I can't do it. I won't do it. Bottom line. The way that people think here scares me. A lot. 

Day 130

Sunday September 1st, 2013

Lazy Sunday. I would love Sundays more if I didn't know that Mondays followed them.

Didn't get out of bed today until after two something.

I did manage though to make egg fried rice, an egg sandwich with parmesan and tomatoes, and french fries. Ate some watermelon and cucumber. Yum.

Other than that, didn't do much today. It was just a day for relaxing and talking on the phone. It felt great. I love this loner life.

Very relaxing.

Today my charcoal lady asked me for money. Why? I just wanted to buy my charcoal. Ugh. 

No electricity through to the night. I'm pretty much over that. Yup. 

So I made so much food today so that I can eat all I have before I leave for almost two weeks. We have an all volunteer training/meet and greet. I'm not really excited. It's going to be too many of us. 

Also, my little neighbor boy fell on my verandah today running on my wet cement. I swear. Uganda is the best form of birth control. He had a huge knot on his head. Poor thing. The screaming and the goofing though. Just go home. So you can't get hurt on my porch. Yeah? Please? 

Ugh. Relaxing yet stressful. I just want fully quiet Sundays. 

 

Day 129

Saturday August 31st, 2013

Today I decided to take advantage of the actual not being expected to go into work thing because it is Saturday. I mean I know I do it anyways, but today no one expects me. I get most work done on these days. On the others I feel like I'm obligated to lag about the house and do absolutely nothing.

So I decided to be productive and clean my house. This included sweeping. Intended  to mop, but then realized I hate mopping here. I did do some rearranging which made me feel like I was in a whole new home. I did some sorting of my clothes, some laundry, which I hate doing and takes me forever to do still. I swear that my laundry is never quite clean. Ever.

Today that was the extent of my productivity, minus doing my nails which was a mistake because then my girls wanted their nails done and then all the other girls wanted their nails done. Every single one of them, which then also turned into me being annoyed as everyone decided to just arbitrarily walk into my house. My house is my house.

I wanted to kill my kids and house girls especially since I never let anyone in my house and now this time around you just think it's ok to waltz right in? And it was the new house girl.

Oh right, I got a new house girl who annoys me to no end. My girls to my right with the bad little boy moved while I was away this last time around. It was sad. Apparently people don't really stay in one place. It was nice to not have anyone in there for some time, but this new house girl who belongs to a family across from me calls me mzungu and stares at me and is always on my verandah. She annoys me. I want to be in my compound and left alone. Just leave me alone. Please.

Yup. So that was today. Nothing big. Nothing big at all.

Day 128

Friday, August 30th, 2013

Flushed the baby lizard down the toilet today. Felt terrible, but then he was too scary and I really just wanted to pee. In peace. Not in pieces.

So I went to this meeting today. First real official meeting since I've been at site. I've decided that I hate meetings. Everyone is so long winded and they say a whole lot of nothing. My God.

Went with my supervisor, got me out of another meeting. Unfortunately I think the other one would have lasted not as long which would have been nice. So we are late to the meeting, as per usual, but I swear these hours were a waste of my life. From 8-2. We showed up around 10. They were singing and dancing which is crazy to me.

So there was this one guy who started talking, everyone had been speaking in Ruyankore, not this guy, he speaks english. Wants to make sure everyone (meaning me) can understand what he's saying. He starts talking about pool and how it's the devil's game and how the it originated in South Africa and it came from the white man and how the white ball hits all the colored balls and how it shows the exertion of power over colors. I was blown away. The stares I got during this mans speech. Killed me.

Thankfully shortly after that we left.

I swear these meetings could be an hour. I fell asleep during the meeting a few times and nearly fell out of my chair more than twice. So I've decided that I'm excited to sleep tonight. I've also decided that I will never be used to the body odor here.Today the scent was assaulting my nose. It smelled like a mix of ass and like I was being trapped in a hot box of old stinky weed. I wonder some days if it is me that smells the way the scent sits up under my nose. 

Lord help me.

Day 127

Thursday August 29th, 2013

Late to work as usual. Tired. As usual. Did a lot of nothing, but did do some work. Everyone was so happy to see me back which was sweet, but it's only been like a week. I finished writing minutes, may be possible to win 2 million UGX, except I don't really care about the money. Crazy part is that it's only $800 which don't get me wrong, is still a lot of money, but holy, 2 million translates to not even $1,000. Crazy.

Went to town this afternoon which was wonderful. Went to the little Indian supermarket and broke down and bought cheese and onion Lays chips and Danish butter cookies. I so should have done that so much earlier!! Those chips and those cookies were oh so delicious. Seriously.

So I get home and saw a baby lizard. Like would be cute it's so small, except for the fact that it's still a lizard and pretty swift for its small size. Rude thing. I later killed a roach, then nearly gwished the baby lizard when I want to grab a roll of toilet paper that I then proceeded to drop as I screamed. Stupid baby lizard.

Day 126

Wednesday August 28th, 2013

They tried to charge me 18k for my bus ride home this morning. I told them no. So 15k I paid.

Sat in the same seat back as I did last time I left Kampala. Seems like the same big hipped woman sat next to me too except this one was much nicer, meanwhile I was a grump. 

Stayed awake most of the trip which is highly unlike me. Got fed gonja (cooked banana) which was less sweet than I expected. Tastes like unsweet plaintain. My hippy lady offered me chapati and street meat too. I was less inclined to partake in those. Yuck, especially when she was asking what kind of meat it was and then said it was dog as she still munched away on it. Yuck. 

Got home. Felt tired, but this time I did laundry, cooked avocado curry except I shouldn't have. It was horrible. I ended up throwing the whole batch away. It was disgusting. Made me feel so sick. It really did. 

So then I tried to roast gnuts. Failed at that too. I give up tonight. I really do. I'm too tired for all of this. Oh well. Next time.

Bed now since it is much later than I had ever intended to be sleeping.

Day 125

Tuesday August 27th, 2013

MRI day. I'm freaking out just a bit. 

To settle my nerves I decide to eat. Yum. Ate the place I gorged and had the amazing chicken and mushroom and mashed potatoes. Yeah yum that place. Actually I was very disappointed as my burger was made of pork not beef and had many a bones in it. 

Ugh.

Day 124

Monday August 26th, 2013

Got a call as I'm getting ready for work today to come on back to Kampala. Seriously? Apparently they want me to get an MRI.

Am I dying? But seriously? For an MRI? Not impressed. And I might have been on time for work today.

Oh well. So I make it for the post bus, which is coming from Kabale and so it's already full. Issa, the bus guy has got me covered and he's put some stuff on the bus for camp too which is cool. Except, the seat he sits me in is a three across with a mom and two young girls. I made it a four across.

Kill me. 

So I get on the bus, squish myself in the seat and about five minutes into the ride the kids stop eating whatever it is they were eating and the youngest just heaves forward and literally barfs her brains up at her feet. Just on the floor. She just let it rip. Next thirty seconds, her sister is joining her. 

In my head all I could think was please puke, please don't splatter on my feet. I will cry. I will so cry. First five minutes though? This bus ride is five hours. FIVE HOURS!!

Day 123

Sunday August 25th, 2013

Today the visiting volunteer needed to be up and out of Mbarara quite early this morning to meet her campers and get on the road to Kampala. Great. I'm excited. I love my alone time, it's just difficult for me to always articulate that to others without looking like a total bitch.

Day 122

Saturday August 24th, 2013

Met up with another volunteer. Ran around picking things up for the camps. Did not feel like helping. Had her stay with me because I felt bad. I always feel bad. I really like my space, but I also really hate being a bitch. Sometimes.

Besides, she turned out to be pretty cool to hang with. She's also a teammate, which was nice to be around because I felt that I could somewhat be me. More free, more open. 

Made spaghetti and oh I forgot to mention that when I got to Kampala this time, my mom's package was there!! Parmesan cheese!! And amazing jerky that I ate before I even made it back to Mbarara and gummies!! Three huge big bags of gummy bears. Target brand, but hey, I'm not complaining. I love packages. I also realized why I couldn't find my camelbak back home. My mom sent it to me in my package. Good thing I still had the lid.

Day 121

Friday August 23rd, 2013

I should have stolen more tampons.

Bled through one of my two pairs of panties while I slept. So instead of waking up at a normal hour for the bus, I woke up at 5:30 am and decided to walk the all but barren streets of Kampala to the 24hr Nakumatt for pads since clearly my heavy flow is giving it to tampons. Hate my period.

So after placement of my pad I traveled to the post bus so I could get back to Mbarara. Had my bags sniffed. Legit. Sort of.

Day 120

Thursday August 22nd, 2013

This morning, I brushed my teeth with Sambuca flavored toothpaste. It was so gross it was comforting. Made me miss London. Bad. Me and the other volunteer also woke up to a picture of Jeremiah above our beds that we didn't once notice the day before. 

Jeremiah is 3 and likes to play with balls. He is also a creeper.

Oh and right. I didn't bring panties either. Well not enough. Oh and I'm starting my period. Did I bring tampons or the hellish diva cup? Nope. Not a thing. 

So more realized poor planning and they eyes of a ever watching photo child are how I start my morning. Splendid. If not for the Sambuca toothpaste I would swear I was dead and woke up in hell, but I guess that could be argued.

Day 119

Wednesday August 21st, 2013

So. About that phone call I made yesterday. Yup. I would wake up this morning and the tingling would be slightly less intense aka it's getting better. Ugh. 

I didn't want to travel to Kampala today. Fucking bus. Fucking five hours. Fucking leg.

It would also so be my luck that the driver was late by an hour. Stresses me out. Really does, but on the flip side, I was able to have two cigarettes instead of one this go round.

Day 118

Tuesday, August 20th 2013

I decided to finally call Peace Corps today about my leg issue seeing that it hasn't gotten better. This was after I promised another volunteer that I would be around and load things onto a bus for her so that it could effectively reach Kampala. I ended up being a liar seeing how PC wanted me to travel the next day to get my leg checked out. Blah,

I now get to miss a meeting at Nile Breweries, my favorite beer here in Uganda aka no free beer for me. 

Went to Ntare Youth Wing today the branch off of AIC and met with Louis. I can't help them. He's too on top of everything. There is nothing for me to do. They do not need the help of a mzungu, this one in particular.

That walk from home to Ntare was quite unenjoyable. I hate sweating here and try to avoid it on nearly every occasion that I can. Clearly I didn't avoid it today. At least I got my exercise for the day in.

My supervisor told our driver to pick me up early tomorrow so I could get the bus early enough, but not have to walk. He doesn't seem impressed. He's supposed to get me at 6/6:30. It's so early. I don't wanna. 

So yay for packing, for how long, I'm not sure. 

Yuck.

Day 117

Monday August 19 2013

Back to Monday. 

Day two of before and after pics. I have no butt. Thank you mom. 

I also have been looking at wedding themes and colors for nearly three hours this morning before work. I think I have a problem. 

As a result I was late to work. As usual.

Day 111

Tuesday, August 13 2013

So the electricity has been out. I swear. I never realized what a luxury it was to have electricity always. Whenever you expect it, it is there. Aren't we spoiled. 

I just thought electricity was a thing. Even when you hear that there will be no electricity somewhere you don't really get it until you experience it. 

I haven't decided which is worse. Never having electricity or having it and then it going out. Those without it will probably say that it's worse to not have it, but then again only if they are not accustomed to at some point in there lives having it consistently. And those who have it and it goes out will probably choose to not have it at all because you don't know a good thing until its gone. Unless they've never had it before. 

Right. 

I'm most definitely making my head hurt with all that jazz. Enough. 

So lately, I've been making really spicy food. I'm beginning to wonder why I'm doing that. I wish I would stop. I swear either my stomach is going to be able to put food back or it's going to make everything look like its been through a juice blender. 

I'm hoping for the latter. 

I'm ready for solid movements again. Will it ever be my life? 

Day 116

Sunday August 18 2013

Sundays are nearly as bad as Mondays except you don't have to wake up as early. Unfortunately I wake up early anyways. 

So I decided that I needed to start working out again. All the weight I loss I'm getting it back. Fucking Africa. Trickster. 

Also if this leg thing is circulatory, then I most definitely need to start. Lets work on it. Took before and after pics. And showered. Oh yum. 

Worse part is that I decided for my workout to be insanity. I figured I is it before so I am do it again. Nope. 

Africa stole my muscles when it made me skinny. So weak and this was only the fit test. I also had difficulty doing some of the exercises due to my lame foot. Which made me nervous. Mountain climbers and jumping were not easy. I was scared my foot was going to give out fully. 

Haven't seen any roaches lately. Which makes me happy. 

I'm also still cooking in a sagyrie. I'm over that so tonight I ate cabbage and some oodles and noodles African brand. 

The cabbage was enh. Could have done better, but it was my first time so... I'm cutting myself slack. 

The gross thing about dinner is that the cabbage wa filled with little caviar looking bug eggs through the first five layers. And yup. I still ate it. Ugh. 

My standards have lowered considerably. It makes me sick. 

Well clearly not because I'm gaining eight and still eating the food. My God who am I becoming? 

Day 115

Saturday August 17

Lazy Saturday. Except I'm pretty sure every day is lazy for me. Decided to clean. Didn't quit smoking. Leg still acting funny. Got an email from a dear friend in the Americas. It was great. 

He started his own archive business. Sweet!! So proud of him, so he sent me the link for his website. 

http://www.archivesinthebuff.squarespace.com/

Kid's pretty legit. It may also be in part to the fact that he is in no way shape or form a kid. Possibly. 

So today as I'm cleaning which I enjoy doing as I never feel fully clean here, I discover a frog. I think the frog is fine. It's tiny. No harm done. Oh boy oh boy was I wrong. 

My kids screamed when they saw the frog. Screamed and ran. And when I left it on my verandah, they were very upset about that. So I swept him off which was silly because then you couldn't see him at all as he was so small and the color of our concrete. 

Someone is going to smoosh him. 

Then I will be the one screaming. 

Day 114

Friday August 16, 2013

We are going to the Dominican baby!!!

So exciting!! And it's cheap. Ok. So no more Cape Town. Now it's white sand and real tans. I'm so excited for this. Like can't contain myself. This is what's keeping me busy and alive at the moment. 

I search for all inclusives, right I forgot to mention that we are doing an all inclusive so we can be spoiled before we settle into our African lives. 

So in love with this idea. So in love!!!

Can not wait to book!! And be spoiled. The only issue is that I don't have much time, like maybe ten days available, but I hear that you can take up to six in advance, but you count weekends and travel days as part of your vacation. Come on Peace Corps. Really? 

We will see what happens with that. 

Day 113

Thursday August 15 2013

So it was decided a few days ago that I would be flown home for Christmas. I am a spoiled spoiled girl. :) 

So for the past three days I have been looking up flights for me round trip and for Mine one way. I love searching for flights and getting the best deals. It's like an Easter egg hunt except without padding. So maybe it's rugby? Except no. Easter egg hunt. 

The other cool bit about that is that we are planning another trip!! Bahamas or the Dominican or the City! Traveling baby!

So excited to have something to look forward to. Am I ever going to do work here? Ever? Ugh. 

Well, back to Expedia. Although kayak has to be my favorite. 

Day 112

Wednesday, August 14 2013

Rocking Wednesday! Not. 

My foot/ankle is still bugging me an I hate that I'm walking funny. Everyone states at me even more now. Excessive nonsense. 

My landlord's friend (I think that's who she is) asked me today what's wrong with my foot. I could only tell her I don't know because its true. I don't know. 

I wish I did. It's so tingled. 

Oh well. I'm sure it will resolve itself. 

Maybe I should stop smoking. This might be a circulation thing. 

Tonight I made curry. My kids love watching me cook. Since I let them try some food, they now want to try everything, except if its spicy. 

It has become a mission of mine to make spicy food not only because I love it, but also because they hate it. 

Today's batch was especially spicy. My ears and eyeballs were sweating. I must must tell my father about this. He will cry real tears. Can't wait. 

So much for that solid movement though.  

Day 110

August 12, 2013

Kill me. Please. I really do hate Mondays here just as much as I do in America.

I'm also very tired of going to work and doing nothing. Although I did go today.

Blah.

Ok. So lately, I have been on high alert for bugs. I really want this bug thing to be over with.

Just as I was getting into bed tonight I made a pact with myself that if there was ever a cockroach in my bed, that I would successfully and as straight away as possible take myself back to America. On Peace Corps dime of course.

Well, no sooner than I made that very serious commitment to myself in my head did I pull back my mosquito net to lay my head on my pillow and there, lo and behold. A tiny speck of a dead cockroach smooshed and next to my pillow.

I quit.

How in the hell am I supposed to protect myself from these things if they are smaller than a grain of sand? I swear I have bugs living in my brain.

Bird brain? No. Bug brain and I'm itchy.

109

Being a hermit again today. Exhausted. I'm still not sleeping. 

My foot slash ankle is still really bothering me. I don't know why it started acting up again, but its weird. My one toe doesn't work at all. And I'm walking funny at home now too. Not impressed. Tried to stretch it out, didn't help. My toe just keeps getting stuck under itself when I try to have it do things. Not at all impressed, but at least I know it isn't schisto as I haven't been in any bodies of water. 

Made fried eggplant and onion rings today with marinara sauce. I swear I'm becoming a pro on that sagyrie guy. If only coal and ash weren't on every plate, every utensil, everything in that little kitchen room. :/

Gheeze. I wonder just how bad that is for you. Between that and the aluminum pots I use to cook everything with. Pretty sure at the end of my service I'm going to be a perfect candidate for testing on the health non-benefits of serving in Peace Corps. 

Great. 

108

Africa isn't the most funnest- yes that's right, funnest place to be doing the walk of shame. 

Of course because its me I'm up super super early regardless of all the alcohol I've assumed and so seven come and I'm up and out of that hotel room. 

Damn this walk through town in the same clothes from yesterday. 

It's early, but a weekend, so I get to talk to home for a bit, mind you during this talk time I'm finding myself becoming increasingly exhausted. 

Instead of sleeping, I get a phone call from my girls. Time to do a drop. I'm finally able to give her the computer I brought back from Buffalo for her. That's a relief for me and I'm sure for her. So there that's done. Can I sleep now?

Nope. 

Walked around a bit today. Finally saw the river I've been talking about and a naked man bathing in it. 

Visited my counterparts house. She's not there still though. In that neighboring district still. And then she's in Kampala next week. What am I going to do with my life???

Decided today that the river may not be the best place for me to be visiting alone and as a girl. Only men were there. That was weird. I only have no interest in seeing men and their packages bathe anymore though either. Embarrassing. Yikes. 

Fell aslee early and was meant to go out again and hang with more volunteers, but hermitism set back in and when I woke up from my nap it was much too late anyways. 

Oh and my counterpart did come back today. She also called and said that in an hour she would be around to pick me up so I could cook pork for her with my spices. 

I lied a I was exhausted and said I was going to see the other volunteers. I I'd neither, but I said she could come pick up the spices. Got the affirmative and then got stood up. So confused. 

So Saturday night was to say the least a bust. Ah, but Dexter. :)

107

Friday. 

End of my hermit streak. Made it out ofthe house by one. That's an improvement. 

Too bad i only left because it is welcome weekend. Welcome weekend is where you all volunteers in an area come together to introduce thenselves to the new volunteers. 

So I'm excited to meet other volunteers!!! Other Americans! Yes I know that's terrible, but it's another reason I stay in my house. No worries.  

No work again today, obviously, although Kirabo did call to see how I was doing. I'm doing. 

I shouldn't have said I had the shits. That's going to come back to haunt me one day I'm sure of it. 

So first thing is first. I meet up with. Couple girls from my group, but as I go to walk out of my compound I have in sandals and somehow my right sandal won't stay on my foot. I make it to my gate and outside of it with some serious difficulty. I try to walk up my hill and my right foot is not cooperating so I turn around walk back through my gate and realize I can't walk in these shoes, take them off and change them. 

The twenty minute walk through town proves to be a struggle. Oh well. 

Meet up find other girls from Kasese an reminisce as it has been nearly two months since I've seen these girls!! We head back to their hotel and I get to show two of my favorites my house. 

My neighbor kids greet them with hugs and smiles and I love it. I also am feeling better with language as they are quite impressed with my conversational skills which are actually quite basic, but it's nice nonetheless. 

Head back to town and its time to eat. It's great. We get to eat at my favorite Indian place in Mbarara aka the only Indian place and the food is amazing. The best part is that we get to take the leftovers home. That proved to be a God send at about three this morning. 

So after food we hit up the hotel again and it's time to go out. We try out the rooftop club of our grocery store and its not so bad. It's a good time, until we decide to leave because we need a change of venue and can't be done with the night. 

We bargain with a private car and we may have ripped him off. End up at another rooftop club and leave there nearly as soon as we walk in because a volunteer had his wallet stolen and is searching for the guy to do what exactly we aren't sure, but all I know is that I live in Mbarara and I can't be associated with such nonsense. I just can't. 

So we get out of there, Mr. Hothead walks away into the night and unfortunately my sympathy receptors have been shut off and so I don't really care. 

Back to the hotel where leftovers become early breakfast and we find ourselves having a giggle feat in a room with five girls. Four in a bed and one on the floor. Half of us used. Net and the other half not. Not sure how that worked with all four of us on the bed. 

All in all the night was amazing and with my girls. I'm glad I decided to not be a hermit anymore. 

106

Thursday 

Day 3 in the house. 

I no longer think I have a problem. I know it.  

I don't want to be in the outside world. It also doesn't make it any better that my counterpart is away in a neighboring district and so hasn't been at the office. 

When she isn't there I'm not quite sure what to do. Neither is anyone else sure what to do with me. 

And so here I am making serious headway on Dexter. Thank you computer and electricity for staying on these past few days. I'm not sure what I would do without you. 

105

Wednesday.

 Day 2 in the house. Dexter is getting good. 

I think I have a serious problem. Instead of being mad at me for just not showing up yesterday, my organization automatically assumed that I was sick. I ran with it. So apparently I have the shits at present. 

I'm not complaining except if I really do get the shits. Then that will be a problem. Tried to blame it on untreated water which I realize I expose myself to all the time. I'm sure that by the end of my service I will have worms and or giardia. Yay for yucky water!!!

Ok. Back to Dexter and my bed. 

104

Tuesday and I just didn't go to work. Stayed in the house all day. 

When I say all day I mean all day. Yesterday kind of killed any motivation I had to go anywhere or do anything. 

Too bad I messaged my counterpart and told her that I was just going to be late. Late then turned into I'm not coming. Too bad I didn't send a message about that. 

So I stayed in and watched episode after episode of Dexter. 

I'm not sure how healthy this is. 

103

Monday

Stakeholders meeting and I'm not sure if me and my coworker are friends. Not sure at all. 

Why is she even more late to everything than me? I don't get it. 

There is a meeting today. Why don't you tell me until the last minute? Oh and you want me to run it? Too bad I have no idea why we are meeting. 

Oh funny thing, neither did the stakeholders since it is Monday and some of them just got the email this morning since you sent it late Friday. 

What the fuck? Yes. The fuck? I'm so confused. I thought I was disorganized and shit with time. Nope. My counterpart takes the cake. 

Not only did she send out the invitation on a Friday for a Monday meeting, but she also double booked herself and showed up nearly two hours late to the meeting she called. 

Is this real life?

Also stop putting me on the spot with absolutely no background info. I can't at all be successful or contribute if you leave me in the dark. That's annoying. 

I think it's going to be a thing that happens. 

So I talk during the meeting, not sure if what I said was helpful, but I was able to meet people who I think may be helpful later on to me. 

We shall see how this whole thing goes. Please counterpart. Don't kill me. 

Day 102

Made curry twice today and ate curry leftovers for breakfast slash brunch lunch too. 

Made curry not only for myself, but also for my counterpart. My dad would be so damn proud. I'm proud. And less hungry due to my new found skills. 

Although I'm quite impressed with my new cooking skills, the kids and the girls that mind the house were not. They found my food to be too spicy. 

As soon as they saw me putting garlic and ginger in the pot they immediately turned up there noses and told me how the spice was going to be unpleasant. 

Jeniffer's children are funny. They don't speak to me, yet when they see me they scream as if I'm their favorite thing in the world. I haven't decided how I feel about the mixed messages yet. 

So I was forced to eat goat today which didn't suck, but I didn't want it so I have it to the kids. I was also given a large helping of maypole that I couldn't finish. I swear they want me to get big. 

I on the other hand have no desire to 'increase in size.'

Because she only ever sees me eat local food, my counterpart says I don't Ike food and that I must be watching my figure. I haven't the heart to tell her, nor does she listen even when I do, that I just don't really like local food, not food in general. So for my figuring watching, it watches itself. 

That's one thing I can say thank you for. So thank you Africa for all you do to decrease my waste size. 

Noted my friend. Noted. 

Day 101

Saturday. Wedding day. 

Everything is like plus five hours here. You can't do anything without adding plus five to it. 

Late this morning for the wedding because I needed to shower seeing that I only do that every second or third day. You bathe in cold water and let me know how often you voluntarily do it. 

Ok so I do my hair, put on some mascara, and even some Burberry and I'm out the door. 

I meet one of my coworkers on the way who after I told him I wa going to a wedding and was what I was wearing ok, proceeded to tell me in so many words that it was enh and that it would do. 

I was a bit devastated by this as I thought I was looking good. I mean did I say how I shaved for this day too? Not until after I tried to wax and then after two pulls realized it woul take far too long. But regardless, shaving?!? That's a big deal. 

Yes here in Uganda I am a smelly hairy animal. It brings me comfort. 

So I'm walking and I'm late and then I remember where I am and wait another ten minutes or so until my supervisor shows up. So my late isn't really late. 

So we are chatting and driving and I wish my dress was longer as I'm absolutely freezing. We stop at her sister and brother's place where their home and land is huge. My supervisor is stacked!!!

They were so sweet to me and everyone is so impressed with my greetings and limited language. Makes me feel good. 

So from there they are talking how they are going to be late they are going to be late, but instead of go straight to the wedding we make another stop at a friend's house. 

Holy shit. The place is huge. I'm in love and want to move there until I see roach casings on the walls. Yes I look for these everywhere now and I find them nearly every place I look minus now my house. Thank fuck. 

She feeds us. One of the things are the matooke bananas with green pepper and tomato essentially porridge made from leftovers of the previous evening. I don't think this combo entirely sucks as ghee which is like cheese and may be spelled gee, is added to the leftovers. So I give myself some. 

Next thing you know I'm being detective in my food as I usually am and realize just as I have the fork to my mouth that there is a secret ingredient in this matook porridge. Intestine. 

I'm not a fan of surprises. 

So needless to say I didn't eat a note of that. Instea made my cheeks hot and tingly from the amount of pineapple I ate. 

Such an obsession with eating. 

So we finally leave the friend's house and are on the way to the wedding. Why are there like five weddings happening by the one pastor? Gheezeus. I can't. So after we get there we wait about two hours before the ceremony even begins. 

So cold. And tired. So so tired. 

Some of the ceremony was in English which was nice. Only weird but was congratulating them as they have andutely no idea who I am. 

So ceremony done. Time for reception. Holy long. Starts off with seating. I'm starved by the way. So sit. Watch ppl sing karaoke essentially and get tipped, then watch traditional celebration dancers which I liked much more than the singers. 

Then we eat. Everyone sits and talks about me not to me. Asking all sorts of questions, but again none to me. Worst part is that these people spoke English, so it's not like they couldn't communicate with me. They simply chose not to. 

Food was cold. Too much meat. I wanted to eat nothing, but I was so hungry. Potatoes were gross and I never say that!! 

Say across from Ana who forged himself on chicken gizzard after chicken gizzard I swear I though I was going to hurl what little food I did take all across the table t him. 

Thankfully for him I was able to control myself. 

After eating more sitting. Then the bridal party arrived. More singing. More dancing. Then the speeches. Holy hell the speeches. Nearly everyone got up and said a twenty plus minute long speech. I was grateful when the gross rude guy next to me offered me a drink. Not only did it warm me, but it also made things a bit more enjoyable. 

I was so curious to see how this cake was going to taste. It tastes like ass. 

The frosting was like bitter lemon line concrete and the cake had burned after tastes and was just dense. Not good flavor. At all. 

So I don't want more cake. I actually threw mine away. Hid it in a favors box. 

Continued drinking with the gross man. Then I nearly pissed myself an then thankfully my supervisor asked if I was ready to go home. Yes. Please. Let's. 

So we leave. I feel sick. I'm saying my goodbyes. Leaving my cake behind (they gave us a huge chunk) and nearly stumbling to my door. 

These are the times that I wish I was more efficient at boiling water. 

Got in around one a.m. And I feel like trash. I think I need to sleep. 

Also I don't want to go to anymore weddings. They are too long. 

That is all. 

For now.