Last day in Mbarara. Wasn't sure if I was going to look at houses today, but I did!! And I found some really good ones. Completely different than what they had shown me before!
I actually have a space for a kitchen and a bathroom, no hot water tank, but I'm so excited. The sitting room is big and the bedroom is decent. I'm looking forward to furnishing the place!!
We went to a craft market outside of the hotel we stayed in and there is a cowhide end table that I'm already imagining taking back to America with me. How? I haven't yet decided, but it's happening.
They also have a set of wicker chairs there. I can not wait. We also went to the nakumaat which is a huge store with groceries and appliances. Kinda like Walmart. Yeah, but smaller and with less stuff, but you walk in and it feels like America. I've been contemplating buying a washer and a fridge. A stove is already happening, but I would love an oven. Oh boy.
You're going to walk into my house and be transported into America. America in Africa. Pretty excited.
The floors are cement currently, but they may put in tile. They are also looking to fix up the kitchen area and to put a wardrobe in which I'm excited for. I'm not too close to town, but I live in a gated community with about 8 other families and mine is a corner house. My views outside are of a garbage pile and then someone's backyard or yard period.
Oh well. I still love it's guts. I'm ready.
Bought some picture frames for the pictures I want to get printed for my family. I hope they like that. I just didn't know what to get them.
So I arrive home and on the walk after getting off the bus I realize that on the road to our homestead that I don't have my shoes. I left three pairs of shoes on the minibus. A pair of Steve Madden flats, timberland sandals, and my throw around old navy flip flops. So unimpressed with myself. Worst part is that I didn't just forget them as I grabbed the bag from under my seat, but there were two bags, one inside of the other and thinking I ha both, I only grabbed one.
I told my host parents and why were they so cute?!? They got on the phone and started calling boda boda drivers inquiring about the minibus that dropped off the mzungus and how they are going to find my shoes.
I've become resigned to the fact that they are lost forever, but I am hopeful that I will find them one day in a market at my new home. I'm figuring that no one will be able to fit my size 11 shoes. It's going to suck to have to re-buy my shoes though, but still. I'm hoping to have them back again one day.
Oh stupid me.
On a high note, my host mom bought me a dress. Just because. How stinking cute was that?!? I hugged her for the first time.
I'm thinking they might really like me. I'm glad, because I missed them. Only a few more days left of homestay. And my word. LPI on Wednesday. Not ready.
So not ready.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Day 35
Got kidnapped again to be at the high school. So over this day.
I'm thinking I'm going to go to town and eat to my face some of that curry chicken which I actually ate the chicken of on Monday.
The walk is so far though and the way that it is, I'm not sure I'm supposed to be going anywhere, but presently, I'm doing not a damn thing.
No one has come for testing. Nothing. Yeah. I'm over today.
I ended up walking the three miles into town. Holy hell was that a trek. Saw the education volunteers again. Weird how that keeps happening.
So I went and had my curry chicken. Ahhhhh! Flavor! How I've missed flavor. And I had garlic naan bread. I was in heaven.
Found the Peace Corps resource room. That was an adventure. Couldn't find it for the life of us.
Then we decided it was going to be a day drinking kind of day. It turned out not to be, but we did end up in a bar where we spoke Runyankore with the bartender who was very impressed with us speaking.
He was so well educated and was talking to us about everything. Like everything. It was really interesting. I told him he was going to be my friend. In a creepy kind of way. He also owns the bar which is nice.
Outside of his bar while I was smoking, which is very taboo especially for women, a guy approached me and this was cool, he had his own tv show and is like a local celebrity!! Hook up!! He knows where all the parties are and was like I like your style, I was like ew. Not this. This is not style. This is default into what I don't look like. Bumming it.
So I would have to say that aside fe the kidnapping I did some good networking today.
Who's coming to visit?
I'm thinking I'm going to go to town and eat to my face some of that curry chicken which I actually ate the chicken of on Monday.
The walk is so far though and the way that it is, I'm not sure I'm supposed to be going anywhere, but presently, I'm doing not a damn thing.
No one has come for testing. Nothing. Yeah. I'm over today.
I ended up walking the three miles into town. Holy hell was that a trek. Saw the education volunteers again. Weird how that keeps happening.
So I went and had my curry chicken. Ahhhhh! Flavor! How I've missed flavor. And I had garlic naan bread. I was in heaven.
Found the Peace Corps resource room. That was an adventure. Couldn't find it for the life of us.
Then we decided it was going to be a day drinking kind of day. It turned out not to be, but we did end up in a bar where we spoke Runyankore with the bartender who was very impressed with us speaking.
He was so well educated and was talking to us about everything. Like everything. It was really interesting. I told him he was going to be my friend. In a creepy kind of way. He also owns the bar which is nice.
Outside of his bar while I was smoking, which is very taboo especially for women, a guy approached me and this was cool, he had his own tv show and is like a local celebrity!! Hook up!! He knows where all the parties are and was like I like your style, I was like ew. Not this. This is not style. This is default into what I don't look like. Bumming it.
So I would have to say that aside fe the kidnapping I did some good networking today.
Who's coming to visit?
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Day 34
Today it rained like no other. I also feel even more nervous about my language exam as I completely only discovered today that I didn't bring my language notebook! What was I thinking. I can't even begin to imagine where this notebook is. God. Please bless.
So I was supposed to go house hunting yesterday. Didn't. Instead from 9 until 6 I was at an outreach event at the local high school where we did testing and counseling.
I myself do not feel comfortable doing testing and counseling yet as Africa and America are quite different. The identified risks and the prevalence of HIV are different and so I ended up being thrown into it anyways. For shame.
We had sheets to fill out that I filled out wrong, then they became upset when I did that, but no one told me!!! And I asked!! Although they speak English here and it is considered the national language, officially, no one understands me! Ever. If I speak Runyankore my accent is too heavy they say and if I speak English people just tell me yes to questions that were never yes or no.
I quit. It's decided.
Yesterday was far too long. Ended up staying at the other volunteers hotel last night which was nice. She stayed at mine the night before and poor thing didn't wanna sleep in the bed with me under the net, the girl is itching in mosquito bites. Like all over from her face to her arms. They are so bad. I feel sad that she has so many.
We met some education volunteers as well. Which was random and cool. We came out of the hotel and there they were. So we met up with the others at the Pelikan hotel and it was nice to be around other Americans. I must say though, I still can't wait to cook for myself. I'm over this substitute American food that very one likes so much, but it's not good. So I'm confused why everyone is in love.
Yeah. So. I'm hoping tomorrow that I actually get to see houses or else I may be living in sketch town USA, Uganda style. I'm not really a fan. At all. We shall see.
Oh and my colleagues came up with the idea that I should marry one of them so I can stay in Uganda forever. Oh if only they knew. Plus private matters are not private matters.
I went to the bathroom, guy asks where I went. I told him then he asks what I did there. I said I went to the bathroom. What do you mean? Also was asked if I ever had sex before. All I kept thinking was is this real?!? Got sassiest when I got my hand held and immediately and forcefully pushed his away.
Boys are weird.
Did I mention I was quitting?
So I was supposed to go house hunting yesterday. Didn't. Instead from 9 until 6 I was at an outreach event at the local high school where we did testing and counseling.
I myself do not feel comfortable doing testing and counseling yet as Africa and America are quite different. The identified risks and the prevalence of HIV are different and so I ended up being thrown into it anyways. For shame.
We had sheets to fill out that I filled out wrong, then they became upset when I did that, but no one told me!!! And I asked!! Although they speak English here and it is considered the national language, officially, no one understands me! Ever. If I speak Runyankore my accent is too heavy they say and if I speak English people just tell me yes to questions that were never yes or no.
I quit. It's decided.
Yesterday was far too long. Ended up staying at the other volunteers hotel last night which was nice. She stayed at mine the night before and poor thing didn't wanna sleep in the bed with me under the net, the girl is itching in mosquito bites. Like all over from her face to her arms. They are so bad. I feel sad that she has so many.
We met some education volunteers as well. Which was random and cool. We came out of the hotel and there they were. So we met up with the others at the Pelikan hotel and it was nice to be around other Americans. I must say though, I still can't wait to cook for myself. I'm over this substitute American food that very one likes so much, but it's not good. So I'm confused why everyone is in love.
Yeah. So. I'm hoping tomorrow that I actually get to see houses or else I may be living in sketch town USA, Uganda style. I'm not really a fan. At all. We shall see.
Oh and my colleagues came up with the idea that I should marry one of them so I can stay in Uganda forever. Oh if only they knew. Plus private matters are not private matters.
I went to the bathroom, guy asks where I went. I told him then he asks what I did there. I said I went to the bathroom. What do you mean? Also was asked if I ever had sex before. All I kept thinking was is this real?!? Got sassiest when I got my hand held and immediately and forcefully pushed his away.
Boys are weird.
Did I mention I was quitting?
Day 33
Traveled to Mbarara today for future site visit.
So tired. Didn't sleep well at all last night. Got everything packed away and situated though. Pretty sure I made my host mom late to her first day back at school taking a lifetime with bathing this morning.
So we get to school, everything is great, we get a ride into Mbarara and me and another trainee Trisha get off together, and they drop us randomly at a shell station. A fellow PCV gets out to tell us where to go for our organizations and also to tell us where we are going to eat.
Next thing you know I hear a chuckle and a hey. I'm thinking its a boda driver asking us if we want rides, nope. Lo and behold its my host dad. Of all the times and places and people, how in the hell did he happen to be in the shell station at just the moment I get out of my transport vehicle?
Ok so lets back up. Last night when he asked about being part of the house hunting I said oh I will have another girl with me and I will have to ask my supervisor as she will be there too, basically I'm setting up the fall.
This morning when I woke up, he's at my door again, but he tells me he can't come with me because he has to go to Busheni. Great. Now I don't have to tell you no. Perfect.
So when I see him in the shell station, I can only imagine the look of shock and terror on my face because how in the hell?!? The creepiest most random coincidence. I feel I may have a tracking device in my stomach.
Makes sense then why they are always telling me to eat more.
Well I tell him we are going to get lunch and then I will call him when we are through, because he's talking about house hunting again and how he's around.
I don't call.
Instead I get a ride to my organization because I can't get a hold of my lady. Again. I arrive and things are good. They seem so legit. I'm loving it.
My perspective soon changes. Their last annual report is from 2009 and after checking their website, I wonder what they've been doing for the past few years.
Then we go look at the houses. Palace? I think not. The first was a cement floor dungeon placed in the cut of a creeptastic alley. Not trying to walk down alleys late at night. There were also a lot of neighbors.
House 2. I was in love if not for the gambling section below my apartment that I would have to walk past every day and the wall of glass as if the apartment was originally intended to be a storefront. The only thing hiding me and my possessions from prying eyes would be a curtain. Not feeling it. If there was a wall and not glass I may consider it more, but the gangle of men was not the most comforting thing.
Decisions decisions. And I can't decide if I like my org yet. I really can't. They seemed legit, but then just hearing some of the interactions. I'm beginning to wonder.
We shall see. Getting picked up tomorrow at 8:15.
So tired. Didn't sleep well at all last night. Got everything packed away and situated though. Pretty sure I made my host mom late to her first day back at school taking a lifetime with bathing this morning.
So we get to school, everything is great, we get a ride into Mbarara and me and another trainee Trisha get off together, and they drop us randomly at a shell station. A fellow PCV gets out to tell us where to go for our organizations and also to tell us where we are going to eat.
Next thing you know I hear a chuckle and a hey. I'm thinking its a boda driver asking us if we want rides, nope. Lo and behold its my host dad. Of all the times and places and people, how in the hell did he happen to be in the shell station at just the moment I get out of my transport vehicle?
Ok so lets back up. Last night when he asked about being part of the house hunting I said oh I will have another girl with me and I will have to ask my supervisor as she will be there too, basically I'm setting up the fall.
This morning when I woke up, he's at my door again, but he tells me he can't come with me because he has to go to Busheni. Great. Now I don't have to tell you no. Perfect.
So when I see him in the shell station, I can only imagine the look of shock and terror on my face because how in the hell?!? The creepiest most random coincidence. I feel I may have a tracking device in my stomach.
Makes sense then why they are always telling me to eat more.
Well I tell him we are going to get lunch and then I will call him when we are through, because he's talking about house hunting again and how he's around.
I don't call.
Instead I get a ride to my organization because I can't get a hold of my lady. Again. I arrive and things are good. They seem so legit. I'm loving it.
My perspective soon changes. Their last annual report is from 2009 and after checking their website, I wonder what they've been doing for the past few years.
Then we go look at the houses. Palace? I think not. The first was a cement floor dungeon placed in the cut of a creeptastic alley. Not trying to walk down alleys late at night. There were also a lot of neighbors.
House 2. I was in love if not for the gambling section below my apartment that I would have to walk past every day and the wall of glass as if the apartment was originally intended to be a storefront. The only thing hiding me and my possessions from prying eyes would be a curtain. Not feeling it. If there was a wall and not glass I may consider it more, but the gangle of men was not the most comforting thing.
Decisions decisions. And I can't decide if I like my org yet. I really can't. They seemed legit, but then just hearing some of the interactions. I'm beginning to wonder.
We shall see. Getting picked up tomorrow at 8:15.
Day 32
My girls left today.
I feel like I didn't connect with them enough mostly because I didn't learn enough language.
I dodged church. Thanks be. I have no desire to introduce myself or get all sorta fancy and have everyone talk to me about God. Sorry God. Nothing personal.
Killed another chicken today except this time I didn't watch the slaughtering, but I watched the way it was butchered. Oh my God. I can't eat meat ever again. I just can not deal with associating my food with the animal and when I saw my host mom chopping this chicken up and cracking open its bones with a machete all I could think was yup, not eating that tonight. Also the chicken was so dirty. Like dirt was on the skin and all I could think was ew.
That's one thing I can't handle, dirt and sand or stones in my food. Biting into dirt/sand/ or stone while your eating really takes away any of the pleasure from it.
Well I tried to make them French toast this morning. That was a fail, but my neighbor Paige was successful in making a pancake-ish thing that had cinnamon and bananas in it. I wanted to die it was so good. My boy didn't like it though, which I found so surprising. He's always asking for stuff I'm eating. He was not with the pancake snack.
I thought that he might be into the mashed potatoes I made, I mean I thought the whole family would be, no. They weren't. I put salt, which I never put, but I'm missing spices, and pepper and boiled garlic in the water with the potatoes to give it some nice flavor. I also put blue band which is a margarine spread here in with milk and a little bit of olive oil. Dear heaven they potatoes were so delicious.
My host family was entirely concerned that I put milk in the potatoes and weren't very impressed. Preci didn't try any at all. At lunch the dad said how it was a good meal and well done. He hasn't even tasted it yet and then, he just ended up covering it with beans. Figures.
I told them that mashed potatoes was like their matooke. So I wonder if they hate it as much as I hate matooke, because I'm pretty sure I can't stomach anymore of those bananas. I just can't.
So dinner comes and the chicken which was actually delicious with the potatoes, the chicken I don't eat is served specifically for me for dinner. Now without the mashed potatoes, the chicken tasted like gross over cooked rubbery chicken.
I couldn't eat it. There wasn't anything for dinner I wanted that night. Apparently they noticed.
Told them about leaving for future site visit tomorrow and how I'm nervous to check out my house. The mom was so cute talking that when I come back in a moth or so after my final training, that she would come visit. Next thing you know host dad is like she will visit Tuesday on her way back from Busheni. Whoa. I don't even have a house yet, one and two, I'm pretty sure she's going to be tired so why would she do that.
"No problem."
Whatever.
So then later after we go to bed he tells me how he wants to come with me tomorrow to look at the houses with me. Outside of my room door. What the hell?!? Can this night get creepier?!? I'm just wanting to pack and go to sleep.
Ugh. Ok. Pack. Then sleep.
Oh right. We have rats.
I feel like I didn't connect with them enough mostly because I didn't learn enough language.
I dodged church. Thanks be. I have no desire to introduce myself or get all sorta fancy and have everyone talk to me about God. Sorry God. Nothing personal.
Killed another chicken today except this time I didn't watch the slaughtering, but I watched the way it was butchered. Oh my God. I can't eat meat ever again. I just can not deal with associating my food with the animal and when I saw my host mom chopping this chicken up and cracking open its bones with a machete all I could think was yup, not eating that tonight. Also the chicken was so dirty. Like dirt was on the skin and all I could think was ew.
That's one thing I can't handle, dirt and sand or stones in my food. Biting into dirt/sand/ or stone while your eating really takes away any of the pleasure from it.
Well I tried to make them French toast this morning. That was a fail, but my neighbor Paige was successful in making a pancake-ish thing that had cinnamon and bananas in it. I wanted to die it was so good. My boy didn't like it though, which I found so surprising. He's always asking for stuff I'm eating. He was not with the pancake snack.
I thought that he might be into the mashed potatoes I made, I mean I thought the whole family would be, no. They weren't. I put salt, which I never put, but I'm missing spices, and pepper and boiled garlic in the water with the potatoes to give it some nice flavor. I also put blue band which is a margarine spread here in with milk and a little bit of olive oil. Dear heaven they potatoes were so delicious.
My host family was entirely concerned that I put milk in the potatoes and weren't very impressed. Preci didn't try any at all. At lunch the dad said how it was a good meal and well done. He hasn't even tasted it yet and then, he just ended up covering it with beans. Figures.
I told them that mashed potatoes was like their matooke. So I wonder if they hate it as much as I hate matooke, because I'm pretty sure I can't stomach anymore of those bananas. I just can't.
So dinner comes and the chicken which was actually delicious with the potatoes, the chicken I don't eat is served specifically for me for dinner. Now without the mashed potatoes, the chicken tasted like gross over cooked rubbery chicken.
I couldn't eat it. There wasn't anything for dinner I wanted that night. Apparently they noticed.
Told them about leaving for future site visit tomorrow and how I'm nervous to check out my house. The mom was so cute talking that when I come back in a moth or so after my final training, that she would come visit. Next thing you know host dad is like she will visit Tuesday on her way back from Busheni. Whoa. I don't even have a house yet, one and two, I'm pretty sure she's going to be tired so why would she do that.
"No problem."
Whatever.
So then later after we go to bed he tells me how he wants to come with me tomorrow to look at the houses with me. Outside of my room door. What the hell?!? Can this night get creepier?!? I'm just wanting to pack and go to sleep.
Ugh. Ok. Pack. Then sleep.
Oh right. We have rats.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Day 30
Pretty sure I failed my practice LPI exam today.
Aka language sucks. I can greet and say in. That's it. Yes. I said in. That's what I can say. Can't say here or there or anything, just in.
Whatever. Went into Mbarara today. Well that was shittastic. Getting a taxi was so difficult. It also made me realize that I'm really going to need to not fail my real language exam. Not if I want to survive.
Apparently men in Uganda love me in the grossest meat sex way. I feel like rack of beef hanging from pegs on the side of the road. Please. Just stare and drool. That's cool. I also appreciate it when you give me the up down. Yummy.
Not all the men are like that though. It's like the states in that aspect. Sometimes boys are just gross. Gross boys.
Ew.
So anyways. We make it to Mbarara in one piece, just crammed four inte back of a sedan and meet this other PCV who shows us around and takes us for FOOD. Omg! Food. I wanted to kiss the ground he walked on. Seriously. Had these things called cluck clucks. Best chicken finger substitute ever. I fell in love. Oh and fries. There were fries. I love fries.
So happy I'm living in that city which apparently Peace Corps doesn't do very often. Like ever. An organization was going to move their headquarters there an then decided against it as they were informed they would lose PCVs. Crazy because I'm now living there. :)
Can't wait to see my place. Can not wait.
Ok so on our way home we get a taxi at the post office and the craziest thing happens. We were waiting on a a fourth person to pack the car and all of a sudden the officer who led us to this driver is now putting handcuffs on him?!? What the hell?!?
They just walked him away down the street in cuffs. All I could muster with an unlit cigarette in my hand was, "Noogamba ota, what happened?!?" No one was able to tell me.
Sadly we waited for another half an hour for a taxi where the driver informed us that he wanted to marry an American woman which I laughed at as I exited his vehicle. He then became angry and asked why I refused him. I said I didn't know him and e said yes you do. Call me on the phone. What? No. I'm not. I leave you sir.
Had to walk home from our training center, ended up caught in the rain and in the dark.
Scary.
Basically I'm living the life here. Wanna join?
Aka language sucks. I can greet and say in. That's it. Yes. I said in. That's what I can say. Can't say here or there or anything, just in.
Whatever. Went into Mbarara today. Well that was shittastic. Getting a taxi was so difficult. It also made me realize that I'm really going to need to not fail my real language exam. Not if I want to survive.
Apparently men in Uganda love me in the grossest meat sex way. I feel like rack of beef hanging from pegs on the side of the road. Please. Just stare and drool. That's cool. I also appreciate it when you give me the up down. Yummy.
Not all the men are like that though. It's like the states in that aspect. Sometimes boys are just gross. Gross boys.
Ew.
So anyways. We make it to Mbarara in one piece, just crammed four inte back of a sedan and meet this other PCV who shows us around and takes us for FOOD. Omg! Food. I wanted to kiss the ground he walked on. Seriously. Had these things called cluck clucks. Best chicken finger substitute ever. I fell in love. Oh and fries. There were fries. I love fries.
So happy I'm living in that city which apparently Peace Corps doesn't do very often. Like ever. An organization was going to move their headquarters there an then decided against it as they were informed they would lose PCVs. Crazy because I'm now living there. :)
Can't wait to see my place. Can not wait.
Ok so on our way home we get a taxi at the post office and the craziest thing happens. We were waiting on a a fourth person to pack the car and all of a sudden the officer who led us to this driver is now putting handcuffs on him?!? What the hell?!?
They just walked him away down the street in cuffs. All I could muster with an unlit cigarette in my hand was, "Noogamba ota, what happened?!?" No one was able to tell me.
Sadly we waited for another half an hour for a taxi where the driver informed us that he wanted to marry an American woman which I laughed at as I exited his vehicle. He then became angry and asked why I refused him. I said I didn't know him and e said yes you do. Call me on the phone. What? No. I'm not. I leave you sir.
Had to walk home from our training center, ended up caught in the rain and in the dark.
Scary.
Basically I'm living the life here. Wanna join?
Day 31
Burned my finger today while cooking an American meal over a roaring open fire.
We went to another host families house and made them dinner. They weren't very impressed. It took three hours to cook everything. Guac, mashed potatoes, this bomb red sauce filled with all sorts of veggies and spaghetti with bread and garlic/oil dipping sauce. I was in heaven. It was the first meal I had where I went and got seconds not because I needed to eat more or potentially far starving, but because I wanted to stuff my face with all the goodness.
The family wasn't as impressed as the volunteers although Bernard one of our trainers, he went in on his plate. Loved it and he went up for seconds. He was really impressed with the guac. As was I. I'm going to need to ask Paige how she managed that. So good.
My host mom gave me eggs for breakfast. I avoid eggs. Put them in my bag anyways and now I have three eggs sitting next to me and they smell. Like eggs.
It rained here so badly today. So much that my feet got stuck in the mud and I became concerned that the road had actually been made of quicksand. Luckily my struggles set me loose.
I fear that God has decided he really is over the human race and has decided to break his promise the way it rains here. It's and angry beating rain that sounds like it has some unsettled debt with the earth, so it falls and pounds as hard as it can. And the earth takes a beating. Bleeding mud and dripping it every where as it pools on its face bruised and muddy.
Yeah. We got lucky to not have been caught in the rain today. Yesterday was enough.
I'm ready to be at site. I'm ready for things to happen.
So my girls leave tomorrow for boarding school. I feel terrible as I have nothing to give them and I feel as if I haven't really spent time with them and connected at all.
Another son came today from university in Kampala. He seems nice, but I'm not sure if ill connect with him though either. Maybe I'm just not a connection girl. :/
I don't want to go to church tomorrow, but I fear I may have to. Especially if I don't want to miss saying goodbye to the eldest girl. Ugh. Decisions.
Oh and I ate duck tonight. Tasted like my grandmothers roast.
We went to another host families house and made them dinner. They weren't very impressed. It took three hours to cook everything. Guac, mashed potatoes, this bomb red sauce filled with all sorts of veggies and spaghetti with bread and garlic/oil dipping sauce. I was in heaven. It was the first meal I had where I went and got seconds not because I needed to eat more or potentially far starving, but because I wanted to stuff my face with all the goodness.
The family wasn't as impressed as the volunteers although Bernard one of our trainers, he went in on his plate. Loved it and he went up for seconds. He was really impressed with the guac. As was I. I'm going to need to ask Paige how she managed that. So good.
My host mom gave me eggs for breakfast. I avoid eggs. Put them in my bag anyways and now I have three eggs sitting next to me and they smell. Like eggs.
It rained here so badly today. So much that my feet got stuck in the mud and I became concerned that the road had actually been made of quicksand. Luckily my struggles set me loose.
I fear that God has decided he really is over the human race and has decided to break his promise the way it rains here. It's and angry beating rain that sounds like it has some unsettled debt with the earth, so it falls and pounds as hard as it can. And the earth takes a beating. Bleeding mud and dripping it every where as it pools on its face bruised and muddy.
Yeah. We got lucky to not have been caught in the rain today. Yesterday was enough.
I'm ready to be at site. I'm ready for things to happen.
So my girls leave tomorrow for boarding school. I feel terrible as I have nothing to give them and I feel as if I haven't really spent time with them and connected at all.
Another son came today from university in Kampala. He seems nice, but I'm not sure if ill connect with him though either. Maybe I'm just not a connection girl. :/
I don't want to go to church tomorrow, but I fear I may have to. Especially if I don't want to miss saying goodbye to the eldest girl. Ugh. Decisions.
Oh and I ate duck tonight. Tasted like my grandmothers roast.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Day 29
Women here seemingly spend their entire lives bent over. How are back issues not an issue?
To wash clothes by hand, to cook, everything. She is constantly bent over from morning to night. I really just want my host mom to take a day time nap. Hell I wanna take a day time nap and I'm only bent over like that once a week.
What I would give to be in kindergarten again. Well kindergarten back in the 90s. Not today's kindergarten. Today's shhhh cray.
Today was long and unstructured. Self study, in which I started to rewrite my note as they suck.
I didn't get very far. Instead I'm concerned about my friends. It seems that everyone decided to go balls to the wall when I left. I mean people are talking about four letter words and rings and things and all I can think is what the hell it's been a month!! It's been a month today!!
What is happening since I left?!? I feel like everyone just like unscrewed all their hinges and went crazy because I'm not there. Selfish to think its all from me, but yeah...
So I'm just praying everyone waits to do full on craziness until I'm home. That's all I ask. Two years.
So yesterday was like a shit show except they substituted piss for shit.
I literally am peeing on myself like its my job. Before we go home yesterday I'm like let me pee especially since the day before I peed outside behind a school and fell in the dirt midstream because I couldn't hold it anymore. So I'm like lesson learned. I'm peeing at school.
Well apparently I was way too excited to pee and my stream was way more forceful than necessary. It went out of control and onto my left foot like into my sandal, feels like I stepped in an ankle deep puddle, peed all over my foot. I wanted to kill myself.
Instead I finished peeing. Removed my shoe and rinsed my bare foot and my poor sandal off with the tap. I didn't use soap. I figured I'd be bucket bathing once I got home and it's Africa. Enh.
So we hang around for a little bit longer and I'm like nope, still not playing around. I'm peeing again. I'm never peeing outside again.
So as soon as I drop my pants over the porcelain pit latrine I hear this clink. What is that I say?! And I start to feel things as there was nothing in my lap or skirt and low and behold one of my piercing a was loose.
I'm pissed because I don't have any extra bars and I've now just lost my piercing to the porcelain mouth of this flush latrine. I'd rather just have a regular latrine, but I guess it was ok since I was able to retrieve the bar.
Only thing is that I had to stick my hand into the porcelain latrine and it was gross because no one flushes when they pee AND I had to pee first to discover the location of the bar.
FML.
At least I didn't pee on the way home.
So at dinner I told my host parents about my new place and how I have options and la la la la la.
Well, my host dad thinks my house is going to be a "boys quarters". That is essentially a train car looking contraption or like a thing that you see in movies when you're in like a yard with like truck beds stacked on top of each other. Omg. I think I will die.
I just need it to be Monday, but not too fast because I'm going to need time to study for the actual LPI.
Screw language. Why didn't I get placed in South America again? Damn HIV.
To wash clothes by hand, to cook, everything. She is constantly bent over from morning to night. I really just want my host mom to take a day time nap. Hell I wanna take a day time nap and I'm only bent over like that once a week.
What I would give to be in kindergarten again. Well kindergarten back in the 90s. Not today's kindergarten. Today's shhhh cray.
Today was long and unstructured. Self study, in which I started to rewrite my note as they suck.
I didn't get very far. Instead I'm concerned about my friends. It seems that everyone decided to go balls to the wall when I left. I mean people are talking about four letter words and rings and things and all I can think is what the hell it's been a month!! It's been a month today!!
What is happening since I left?!? I feel like everyone just like unscrewed all their hinges and went crazy because I'm not there. Selfish to think its all from me, but yeah...
So I'm just praying everyone waits to do full on craziness until I'm home. That's all I ask. Two years.
So yesterday was like a shit show except they substituted piss for shit.
I literally am peeing on myself like its my job. Before we go home yesterday I'm like let me pee especially since the day before I peed outside behind a school and fell in the dirt midstream because I couldn't hold it anymore. So I'm like lesson learned. I'm peeing at school.
Well apparently I was way too excited to pee and my stream was way more forceful than necessary. It went out of control and onto my left foot like into my sandal, feels like I stepped in an ankle deep puddle, peed all over my foot. I wanted to kill myself.
Instead I finished peeing. Removed my shoe and rinsed my bare foot and my poor sandal off with the tap. I didn't use soap. I figured I'd be bucket bathing once I got home and it's Africa. Enh.
So we hang around for a little bit longer and I'm like nope, still not playing around. I'm peeing again. I'm never peeing outside again.
So as soon as I drop my pants over the porcelain pit latrine I hear this clink. What is that I say?! And I start to feel things as there was nothing in my lap or skirt and low and behold one of my piercing a was loose.
I'm pissed because I don't have any extra bars and I've now just lost my piercing to the porcelain mouth of this flush latrine. I'd rather just have a regular latrine, but I guess it was ok since I was able to retrieve the bar.
Only thing is that I had to stick my hand into the porcelain latrine and it was gross because no one flushes when they pee AND I had to pee first to discover the location of the bar.
FML.
At least I didn't pee on the way home.
So at dinner I told my host parents about my new place and how I have options and la la la la la.
Well, my host dad thinks my house is going to be a "boys quarters". That is essentially a train car looking contraption or like a thing that you see in movies when you're in like a yard with like truck beds stacked on top of each other. Omg. I think I will die.
I just need it to be Monday, but not too fast because I'm going to need time to study for the actual LPI.
Screw language. Why didn't I get placed in South America again? Damn HIV.
Day 28
Peed on my foot tonight. Also got to hear the sound of my shit falling 40 feet to its death. It's a remarkable sound. You should try it sometime.
My little girl peed on the floor tonight.
Told my mom I was going to cook again she was so excited!!! Thinking to make mashed potatoes, French toast, and possibly fries and or pancakes.
I'm so ready for home stay to be over though. Just ready.
Didn't do anything for language today which I feel sad about, but we did get our dresses done!!!
I'm sooooo happy. Now. Earlier I was not. My top is not the top I asked for, so they are making me a new one for free and they had to take in the skirt because they didn't make it the way I had asked, but now I can't gain a single pound or I will not fit into anything. I'm excited to see what my shirt top looks like. I really hope it doesn't suck. Like truly. Ugh.
Tonight we celebrated that girls bday which was nice. I lushed it out. It was great. Happens.
Oh and I found out about my new place today. All I know is that it's right across the street from my organization and its self contained with running water and electricity. Keep in mind that running water does not equal plumbing, it may simply mean there is a tap. But electricity?!? Hell yes!! Also there are two other options of houses I can look at, they are just further away. I find out on Monday, but I'm staying in a hotel. A little freaked about that as hotel to Americans and hotel to Ugandans, not quite the same. It would be so lovely though if it was like a Hilton or Hampton inn or something I know.
Here's to wishful thinking. :)
My little girl peed on the floor tonight.
Told my mom I was going to cook again she was so excited!!! Thinking to make mashed potatoes, French toast, and possibly fries and or pancakes.
I'm so ready for home stay to be over though. Just ready.
Didn't do anything for language today which I feel sad about, but we did get our dresses done!!!
I'm sooooo happy. Now. Earlier I was not. My top is not the top I asked for, so they are making me a new one for free and they had to take in the skirt because they didn't make it the way I had asked, but now I can't gain a single pound or I will not fit into anything. I'm excited to see what my shirt top looks like. I really hope it doesn't suck. Like truly. Ugh.
Tonight we celebrated that girls bday which was nice. I lushed it out. It was great. Happens.
Oh and I found out about my new place today. All I know is that it's right across the street from my organization and its self contained with running water and electricity. Keep in mind that running water does not equal plumbing, it may simply mean there is a tap. But electricity?!? Hell yes!! Also there are two other options of houses I can look at, they are just further away. I find out on Monday, but I'm staying in a hotel. A little freaked about that as hotel to Americans and hotel to Ugandans, not quite the same. It would be so lovely though if it was like a Hilton or Hampton inn or something I know.
Here's to wishful thinking. :)
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Day 27
Today is another trainees birthday.
I feel so sad for her. We couldn't really do anything to make it special. Just bought Pringles, made a card, and bought her a little change purse.
Happy Birthday!!!
I felt really selfish seeing her though too. I am not at all looking forward to celebrating birthdays here.
This afternoon we went to a head Village Health Trainer's home where we were able to talk about all sorts or health things; HIV, malaria, birth control, condom use. All sorts of things.
It was so interesting to be there and to hear the dialogue between the mean an women and the way they approached our questions.
The scariest and saddest thing is that they know about STDs and STIs including HIV/AIDS, but that HIV kind of over shadows all the others and even though there is knowledge about it, that's about where it stops.
I spoke with the men's group when they split and the men openly admitted to the fact that infidelity was common, but thy condom use was highly uncommon. There was an expressed lack of trust when it came to partners and fear of HIV, but still no desire to use a condom despite the fact that they knew that its use could prevent HIV.
I couldn't manage to understand that. Part of it was tied into reproduction, the other aspect I'm not sure.
I'm nervous to do things here. I can't just say hey that's stupid, because there is a reason that thing have been done like that. There is a reason that people feel this way. I swear having an official psych degree might be better than all this social activist angsting inside of me.
I'm scared. I'm terrified that I won't have any ideas, that my community won't accept me and that I will fail that or I won't create anything sustainable or worth while.
That's what I'm scared of. Hopefully I'm just being silly.
I feel so sad for her. We couldn't really do anything to make it special. Just bought Pringles, made a card, and bought her a little change purse.
Happy Birthday!!!
I felt really selfish seeing her though too. I am not at all looking forward to celebrating birthdays here.
This afternoon we went to a head Village Health Trainer's home where we were able to talk about all sorts or health things; HIV, malaria, birth control, condom use. All sorts of things.
It was so interesting to be there and to hear the dialogue between the mean an women and the way they approached our questions.
The scariest and saddest thing is that they know about STDs and STIs including HIV/AIDS, but that HIV kind of over shadows all the others and even though there is knowledge about it, that's about where it stops.
I spoke with the men's group when they split and the men openly admitted to the fact that infidelity was common, but thy condom use was highly uncommon. There was an expressed lack of trust when it came to partners and fear of HIV, but still no desire to use a condom despite the fact that they knew that its use could prevent HIV.
I couldn't manage to understand that. Part of it was tied into reproduction, the other aspect I'm not sure.
I'm nervous to do things here. I can't just say hey that's stupid, because there is a reason that thing have been done like that. There is a reason that people feel this way. I swear having an official psych degree might be better than all this social activist angsting inside of me.
I'm scared. I'm terrified that I won't have any ideas, that my community won't accept me and that I will fail that or I won't create anything sustainable or worth while.
That's what I'm scared of. Hopefully I'm just being silly.
Day 26
It's dry season in SouthWest Uganda. Let me kill myself.
Just kidding, but seriously. It's hot as balls here.
I'm beginning to realize that I suck at this training language skills. I don't use them enough at home nor in the community because usually I'm aggravated at being called mzungu, which is entirely a personal thing. I just hear nigger or spic or kike. It hurts me and although I do understand that it isn't always meant that way and exposure to other cultures is limited here, I am hoping in every way to one day break apart from being mzungu and become a person just like the Ugandans.
I hope that day is closer than expected.
A week from today I get to see my house and I'm so excited!!! Can't wait to have a painting party with myself and a box of wine. Those will be good days. Ahhhhh.
I realize that soon everything here will become normal. I won't look at the stars or how bright they are at night anymore. I won't look at the hills because I see them everyday. I won't kick at the rocks on my unloved roads because I'll know just what to do to avoid them. My photos will decrease as I cease to feel that I need to capture every green, every living thing with my lens.
I want to remember the people as much as they annoy me now, because its the ones that you speak to that light up at being greeted in their own language that make the struggle worth it. Or the little kids that follow us home and test out our language skills and get so excited when we can respond. I love the reverence of the elders. They carry themselves with such pride, such majesty you can feel this solemnity emanating from their very being. It's humbling.
I want to remember the farm animals in the road, on the side of the road and how normal that is here.
And the sky. Each sky has been none the less breath taking than the last with its never ending horizon bordering nothing but green escape where my heart can't help but be convinced that God is real and wanted nothing more than to paint that day.
God paints everyday in Africa. His canvas seems larger here, but I also feel like I personally need the biggest reminder, the biggest hope here.
Seeing those skies and I am renewed. I can't give up on this yet. I need to capture as much of this beauty as I can before I become immune to its invigorating effects.
I refuse not to breathe in this life and get an oxygen high.
And so I will continue at the very least to write.
Just kidding, but seriously. It's hot as balls here.
I'm beginning to realize that I suck at this training language skills. I don't use them enough at home nor in the community because usually I'm aggravated at being called mzungu, which is entirely a personal thing. I just hear nigger or spic or kike. It hurts me and although I do understand that it isn't always meant that way and exposure to other cultures is limited here, I am hoping in every way to one day break apart from being mzungu and become a person just like the Ugandans.
I hope that day is closer than expected.
A week from today I get to see my house and I'm so excited!!! Can't wait to have a painting party with myself and a box of wine. Those will be good days. Ahhhhh.
I realize that soon everything here will become normal. I won't look at the stars or how bright they are at night anymore. I won't look at the hills because I see them everyday. I won't kick at the rocks on my unloved roads because I'll know just what to do to avoid them. My photos will decrease as I cease to feel that I need to capture every green, every living thing with my lens.
I want to remember the people as much as they annoy me now, because its the ones that you speak to that light up at being greeted in their own language that make the struggle worth it. Or the little kids that follow us home and test out our language skills and get so excited when we can respond. I love the reverence of the elders. They carry themselves with such pride, such majesty you can feel this solemnity emanating from their very being. It's humbling.
I want to remember the farm animals in the road, on the side of the road and how normal that is here.
And the sky. Each sky has been none the less breath taking than the last with its never ending horizon bordering nothing but green escape where my heart can't help but be convinced that God is real and wanted nothing more than to paint that day.
God paints everyday in Africa. His canvas seems larger here, but I also feel like I personally need the biggest reminder, the biggest hope here.
Seeing those skies and I am renewed. I can't give up on this yet. I need to capture as much of this beauty as I can before I become immune to its invigorating effects.
I refuse not to breathe in this life and get an oxygen high.
And so I will continue at the very least to write.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Day 25
I made bow tie pasta and tomato sauce for my family today. Oh my goodness it was so nice to smell garlic and onion and the tomatoes were so yummy!! Everything was fresh except for the mushrooms and tomato paste from the can.
FYI I can now open cans with cheap flimsy knives. Yes it is possible.
Now back to our regular broadcasting.
I was in heaven. Olive oil. My God how I've missed you.
My family seemed to like it although they put the sauce on the matooke and not on their noodles, but the grandma stopped by and had some and was so surprised. I'm not sure if she was surprised because it tasted good or surprised period to be eating food I made.
It made me happy that everyone tried the food. Everyone asked for seconds of the macaroni. I made too much of that though. Oh well. I have a package and a half left, plus my olive oil which I'm going to take with me.
I didn't go to church today. Instead I stayed up last night and watched the Five Year Engagement and Hotel Transylvania. I took my mefloquine yesterday after lunch as I forgot to take it Friday and I had my first side effect. Or at least that's what I'm going to blame it on.
While watching the Five Year Engagement, I had a mental breakdown. I thought for a moment that I was home in America and when I realized that I was in home stay in my borrowed room this wave of sadness just came crashing over me and I had a full on I can't breathe little kid crying anxiety attack. I couldn't even calm myself down even though I thought my behavior was so irrational.
I didn't sleep but for a few hours that night, was up at six something and just felt so drained. Headache and hurting eyes were my friends that morning. I was just out of it.
Did laundry today. Asked the mom a few things about gender roles. It's so funny. The dad last night says the wife has to do everything because its her job, but also because she is stronger than him. I'm not sure if I'm taking it the way he meant it, but I found his reasoning interesting.
It's interesting to see a lot of things and how ingrained ideas are to a people, but then I imagine that is me too, that there are some things that people will read that I talk about that we just don't understand why they are the way they are.
I can't imagine not marrying for love, but for children. Nor could I imagine thinking that the more children I had the better chance of more of them living than not. Infant mortality rates are high here, but children make up a huge chunk of the country's population.
There is a saying here in Uganda that if you are the mother of one, you are the mother of nothing.
How am I supposed to compete with ideas like that especially when they are based in truth? My heart goes out to these mothers who have as many children as they can because one society says so, but also because they've accepted that they will have children die and they want to hold on to as many as they can.
Today was a sad day.
FYI I can now open cans with cheap flimsy knives. Yes it is possible.
Now back to our regular broadcasting.
I was in heaven. Olive oil. My God how I've missed you.
My family seemed to like it although they put the sauce on the matooke and not on their noodles, but the grandma stopped by and had some and was so surprised. I'm not sure if she was surprised because it tasted good or surprised period to be eating food I made.
It made me happy that everyone tried the food. Everyone asked for seconds of the macaroni. I made too much of that though. Oh well. I have a package and a half left, plus my olive oil which I'm going to take with me.
I didn't go to church today. Instead I stayed up last night and watched the Five Year Engagement and Hotel Transylvania. I took my mefloquine yesterday after lunch as I forgot to take it Friday and I had my first side effect. Or at least that's what I'm going to blame it on.
While watching the Five Year Engagement, I had a mental breakdown. I thought for a moment that I was home in America and when I realized that I was in home stay in my borrowed room this wave of sadness just came crashing over me and I had a full on I can't breathe little kid crying anxiety attack. I couldn't even calm myself down even though I thought my behavior was so irrational.
I didn't sleep but for a few hours that night, was up at six something and just felt so drained. Headache and hurting eyes were my friends that morning. I was just out of it.
Did laundry today. Asked the mom a few things about gender roles. It's so funny. The dad last night says the wife has to do everything because its her job, but also because she is stronger than him. I'm not sure if I'm taking it the way he meant it, but I found his reasoning interesting.
It's interesting to see a lot of things and how ingrained ideas are to a people, but then I imagine that is me too, that there are some things that people will read that I talk about that we just don't understand why they are the way they are.
I can't imagine not marrying for love, but for children. Nor could I imagine thinking that the more children I had the better chance of more of them living than not. Infant mortality rates are high here, but children make up a huge chunk of the country's population.
There is a saying here in Uganda that if you are the mother of one, you are the mother of nothing.
How am I supposed to compete with ideas like that especially when they are based in truth? My heart goes out to these mothers who have as many children as they can because one society says so, but also because they've accepted that they will have children die and they want to hold on to as many as they can.
Today was a sad day.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Day 24
I am currently growing a national forest between my legs. It is decided that I am plucking my bikini line today. Yes. With tweezers. End of discussion.
To go along with that, I'm not sure how, but I am also pretty sure that I'm going to have skin cancer when all of this is said and done. My tan is getting worse except its not tan. It's burn. I look dirty. It's not a good feeling since most the time I really am dirty, except even when I'm clean, the color it doesn't come off.
We climbed a huge hill today. Like it was a three hour plus hike. I'm dead. So dead. It was so cool though. The views were amazing and we saw people tilling the land and when I say people I mean old ladies and little kids. Well they ended up following us, we got a few pictures it was the coolest thing. I was trying to delete photos off my camera and they all gathered around me and started to look at the photos. They were from Minnesota when the lake when frozen so I got to show them that an explain that to them. It was the coolest thing.
I loved today. I'm dreading the walk back to home stay. I'm just so dead. I really need to study. We have mock LPIs on Monday which are the tests we have to pass to say that we've sufficiently learned the language. This bitch is failing.
Speaking of failing, it's been decided that washing my hair with a bucket has to be one of thee hardest things I've encountered here. You would think it would be the lack of toilets and or running water, but no. It is washing my hair. Why didn't I shave this? Fail.
Smoked my last cigarette today. Lets see how long this lasts.
So this morning, my host dad stands outside of my door saying, "Kathryn good morning, how are you? I'm leaving for work now to go to Ibanda." Um... Ok. Then leave. I'm not getting up or coming out and why are you talking to me in the morning?! Unless I come out of my room, out of all the days I have been in the house, this man has not once spoken to me in the morning let alone through my room door. Don't be a super creep. Please. Ew.
In training me and another PCT (Peace Corps Trainee) were in the room they've provided us and all of a sudden it sounds like elephants are in the ceiling. Dear God I can not handle elephants or rats or birds or lizard things making the ceiling crack and falling down on us. I would die. I would say I would come home, but I feel like I'm making everything an excuse to come home.
I stub my toe on the rocks walking back to home stay. I'm coming home.
Pee splashes the sides of my feet in the pit latrine. I'm coming home.
The sun is out. I'm coming home.
I'm coming home for everything. Except not.
I do climb trees though without threats of returning to America. On our hill trip, I climbed a Simba tree. You may be asking yourself what a Simba tree is. Well you know that well recognized type of tree from the Lion King? They were accurate in their depictions as they are real and I climbed one today. I was waiting for either Timon or Pumba to come waltzing by. They did not. I was disappointed.
Oh well. Went to bed right after dinner tonight. I think that's going to be my new thing.
Hopefully it goes over well.
To go along with that, I'm not sure how, but I am also pretty sure that I'm going to have skin cancer when all of this is said and done. My tan is getting worse except its not tan. It's burn. I look dirty. It's not a good feeling since most the time I really am dirty, except even when I'm clean, the color it doesn't come off.
We climbed a huge hill today. Like it was a three hour plus hike. I'm dead. So dead. It was so cool though. The views were amazing and we saw people tilling the land and when I say people I mean old ladies and little kids. Well they ended up following us, we got a few pictures it was the coolest thing. I was trying to delete photos off my camera and they all gathered around me and started to look at the photos. They were from Minnesota when the lake when frozen so I got to show them that an explain that to them. It was the coolest thing.
I loved today. I'm dreading the walk back to home stay. I'm just so dead. I really need to study. We have mock LPIs on Monday which are the tests we have to pass to say that we've sufficiently learned the language. This bitch is failing.
Speaking of failing, it's been decided that washing my hair with a bucket has to be one of thee hardest things I've encountered here. You would think it would be the lack of toilets and or running water, but no. It is washing my hair. Why didn't I shave this? Fail.
Smoked my last cigarette today. Lets see how long this lasts.
So this morning, my host dad stands outside of my door saying, "Kathryn good morning, how are you? I'm leaving for work now to go to Ibanda." Um... Ok. Then leave. I'm not getting up or coming out and why are you talking to me in the morning?! Unless I come out of my room, out of all the days I have been in the house, this man has not once spoken to me in the morning let alone through my room door. Don't be a super creep. Please. Ew.
In training me and another PCT (Peace Corps Trainee) were in the room they've provided us and all of a sudden it sounds like elephants are in the ceiling. Dear God I can not handle elephants or rats or birds or lizard things making the ceiling crack and falling down on us. I would die. I would say I would come home, but I feel like I'm making everything an excuse to come home.
I stub my toe on the rocks walking back to home stay. I'm coming home.
Pee splashes the sides of my feet in the pit latrine. I'm coming home.
The sun is out. I'm coming home.
I'm coming home for everything. Except not.
I do climb trees though without threats of returning to America. On our hill trip, I climbed a Simba tree. You may be asking yourself what a Simba tree is. Well you know that well recognized type of tree from the Lion King? They were accurate in their depictions as they are real and I climbed one today. I was waiting for either Timon or Pumba to come waltzing by. They did not. I was disappointed.
Oh well. Went to bed right after dinner tonight. I think that's going to be my new thing.
Hopefully it goes over well.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Day 23
It's hot. Quite.
And that stupid call me maybe song is on. I left America to escape things like Carly Rae Jemson or whatever her name is.
Today I'm buying a dress in town and having one made. I'm so excited!!! Ahhhh!
Finally because I have absolutely no clothes. So ready for some new clothes. Speaking of, I split my pants somehow. Stupid Forever 21. Jesus. I was walking out of the house this morning to fetch Paige and for some reason I touched my ass. Why? Who knows. But thanks be that I did or else I wouldn't have felt my ass skin that I imagine was visible through my pants. Damnation.
Thank God for mini sewing kits.
We went into town today and met a nurse who works at a health center three. It was crazy to see the place. Cement floors with holes, not a single patient. There are no doctors just midwives and nurses. It's crazy to think of all the people they service and how understaffed they are.
Everything here makes me grateful for my life at home. Everything.
I did my girls and my boys nails again today. Official this time. Two coats. It was nice to see them relax and just do something for them. The girls are always working and helping their mom. It's crazy. Chores here are not like chores back home. Not even close.
I played cards with my dad last night. Pretty sure he cheated. It was fun to be able to learn though. Wanted the mom to play, but she said she didn't know how. So we kind of left it at that.
It's going into dry season and its hot even at night now. The blanket I was using is too much, but hopefully that will change. Can't wait to see what site is like.
Ok. Going to sweat now.
And that stupid call me maybe song is on. I left America to escape things like Carly Rae Jemson or whatever her name is.
Today I'm buying a dress in town and having one made. I'm so excited!!! Ahhhh!
Finally because I have absolutely no clothes. So ready for some new clothes. Speaking of, I split my pants somehow. Stupid Forever 21. Jesus. I was walking out of the house this morning to fetch Paige and for some reason I touched my ass. Why? Who knows. But thanks be that I did or else I wouldn't have felt my ass skin that I imagine was visible through my pants. Damnation.
Thank God for mini sewing kits.
We went into town today and met a nurse who works at a health center three. It was crazy to see the place. Cement floors with holes, not a single patient. There are no doctors just midwives and nurses. It's crazy to think of all the people they service and how understaffed they are.
Everything here makes me grateful for my life at home. Everything.
I did my girls and my boys nails again today. Official this time. Two coats. It was nice to see them relax and just do something for them. The girls are always working and helping their mom. It's crazy. Chores here are not like chores back home. Not even close.
I played cards with my dad last night. Pretty sure he cheated. It was fun to be able to learn though. Wanted the mom to play, but she said she didn't know how. So we kind of left it at that.
It's going into dry season and its hot even at night now. The blanket I was using is too much, but hopefully that will change. Can't wait to see what site is like.
Ok. Going to sweat now.
Day 22
I don't feel to write today.
I ate grasshoppers for dessert. Like ate their heads with their eyes staring down my throat.
It was really difficult, but thankfully they didn't have their wings or jumpy legs anymore. They are fried and taste less gross than what I thought. It was still really hard to put them in my mouth and chew them with my teeth. I only at three. That's all I could do.
All sorts of shit. They tried to feed me liver the other night. I'm glad they said what it was because I was about to just shove it in my mouth, so maybe it would have been better to not know because then I would have tried it.
I shaved my legs and my armpits for the first time in like two weeks. It feels heavenly.
I'm not drinking enough water. I'm trying, but I know I'm not because I nearly fainted the other night and I feel to die on our 45 minute walks home. I just really don't want to have to use a night bucket. I'm sure my family thinks I'm so weird to not pee at night AND my host dad keeps shoving sherry down my throat, Ugandan sherry. Ooh it is so nice though.
I had three shots of it last night. It gives me the best sleep ever. Best sleep ever I say.
Oh my goodness!! So tonight, there was a cockroach in the house. Freaking out and we were eating the grasshoppers so after the first cockroach was taken outside, the little girl picked something up from the floor and was about to eat it and then the mom was like no, it's a cockroach. Oh my God. I almost died. Ugh. So gross.
I'm not meant for this life. I'm tying up all my stuff tonight. I thought I had to worry about the lizards getting into my stuff. Clearly that is the least of my worries.
I ate grasshoppers for dessert. Like ate their heads with their eyes staring down my throat.
It was really difficult, but thankfully they didn't have their wings or jumpy legs anymore. They are fried and taste less gross than what I thought. It was still really hard to put them in my mouth and chew them with my teeth. I only at three. That's all I could do.
All sorts of shit. They tried to feed me liver the other night. I'm glad they said what it was because I was about to just shove it in my mouth, so maybe it would have been better to not know because then I would have tried it.
I shaved my legs and my armpits for the first time in like two weeks. It feels heavenly.
I'm not drinking enough water. I'm trying, but I know I'm not because I nearly fainted the other night and I feel to die on our 45 minute walks home. I just really don't want to have to use a night bucket. I'm sure my family thinks I'm so weird to not pee at night AND my host dad keeps shoving sherry down my throat, Ugandan sherry. Ooh it is so nice though.
I had three shots of it last night. It gives me the best sleep ever. Best sleep ever I say.
Oh my goodness!! So tonight, there was a cockroach in the house. Freaking out and we were eating the grasshoppers so after the first cockroach was taken outside, the little girl picked something up from the floor and was about to eat it and then the mom was like no, it's a cockroach. Oh my God. I almost died. Ugh. So gross.
I'm not meant for this life. I'm tying up all my stuff tonight. I thought I had to worry about the lizards getting into my stuff. Clearly that is the least of my worries.
Day 21
It is three weeks today since I've left Buffalo.
All I can think is how weird, yet enjoyable it is to sleep under a mosquito net. Although it has been decided that I'm getting malaria during home stay. That or some other God awful.
The level of hygiene here is beyond bare minimum. I've gotta say besides feeling super safe like I'm playing that game when you're little and the floor is lava so you can't touch it, but your always safe in your wooden bed, besides playing that game with my mosquito net, like nothing can get me while I'm under it, I've gotta say. Shit's rough.
I've already lost a couple pair of underwear to Uganda. The first were to these killer ants that have been trailing in my room from day one. On day three my bright idea self thinks to spray deet. They scatter. So now instead of one thick line of a gajillion ants, now there just are a gajillion ants trying to figure out where they should go. The hell ants. Why are you not dead from this deet? It's so strong!!!
Well I'm dying from inhaling deet and I realize I can't just let these ants scurry about so I look for something to clean them up with. Mind you there are no paper towels or rags or anything, so I get the next best thing, a pair of pantie and I wipe and brush those suckers away.
I guess it's kind of gross when you think about it. Mostly because in the morning there were a gajillion dead ants in the crotch of my underwear.
Yup. Lost those to Uganda. Lost the next pair during my bucket bath where I spilled water all outside in the actual room area, as the wash closet is in the room of the two girls.
So it was wet and I wanted to clean it up. I used my panties from that day. I didn't realize that the cement floor would be muddy. So those panties are full of mud and stones. Not even bothering to try and wash those bad boys.
I basically give up. Oh well. What can I do?
But thankfully there are no marching ants ever since. Thank God for deet and panties.
All I can think is how weird, yet enjoyable it is to sleep under a mosquito net. Although it has been decided that I'm getting malaria during home stay. That or some other God awful.
The level of hygiene here is beyond bare minimum. I've gotta say besides feeling super safe like I'm playing that game when you're little and the floor is lava so you can't touch it, but your always safe in your wooden bed, besides playing that game with my mosquito net, like nothing can get me while I'm under it, I've gotta say. Shit's rough.
I've already lost a couple pair of underwear to Uganda. The first were to these killer ants that have been trailing in my room from day one. On day three my bright idea self thinks to spray deet. They scatter. So now instead of one thick line of a gajillion ants, now there just are a gajillion ants trying to figure out where they should go. The hell ants. Why are you not dead from this deet? It's so strong!!!
Well I'm dying from inhaling deet and I realize I can't just let these ants scurry about so I look for something to clean them up with. Mind you there are no paper towels or rags or anything, so I get the next best thing, a pair of pantie and I wipe and brush those suckers away.
I guess it's kind of gross when you think about it. Mostly because in the morning there were a gajillion dead ants in the crotch of my underwear.
Yup. Lost those to Uganda. Lost the next pair during my bucket bath where I spilled water all outside in the actual room area, as the wash closet is in the room of the two girls.
So it was wet and I wanted to clean it up. I used my panties from that day. I didn't realize that the cement floor would be muddy. So those panties are full of mud and stones. Not even bothering to try and wash those bad boys.
I basically give up. Oh well. What can I do?
But thankfully there are no marching ants ever since. Thank God for deet and panties.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Day 20
Tomorrow will be three weeks. It already feels like three years.
Language is coming along. I'm sucking more than I'd like to, but I'm starting now to hear words that I know from my host family which is so nice.
Today at training I witnessed a dragonfly dance. It was a gathering of dragon flies darting around each other creating these intricate seemingly choreographed movements. It looked like an air show. I love it. Something so simple brought so much joy to me, just being able to take in that moment and observe these creatures flying. Silly maybe, but it encouraged me to just breathe.
Just breathe.
Almost a month. Almost.
I hope the time flies like those dragonflies. Seemingly choreographed to bring me to just the right place at just the right time with visible obstacles that I will manage to surpass.
Hope is on the wings of the wind and in the hollows of my open mouth.
Wish me luck.
Language is coming along. I'm sucking more than I'd like to, but I'm starting now to hear words that I know from my host family which is so nice.
Today at training I witnessed a dragonfly dance. It was a gathering of dragon flies darting around each other creating these intricate seemingly choreographed movements. It looked like an air show. I love it. Something so simple brought so much joy to me, just being able to take in that moment and observe these creatures flying. Silly maybe, but it encouraged me to just breathe.
Just breathe.
Almost a month. Almost.
I hope the time flies like those dragonflies. Seemingly choreographed to bring me to just the right place at just the right time with visible obstacles that I will manage to surpass.
Hope is on the wings of the wind and in the hollows of my open mouth.
Wish me luck.
Day 19
The days are so long here.
I'm beginning to blend them together.
Nearly on time. Five minutes late, but we were the first here today.
I feel bogged down by the language. It's clogging up my brain.
I'm ready to be done with home stay, but entirely nervous to be out in a community doing testing in a language I suck in and to also possibly suck period. I just don't want to suck.
I've decided to bring my computer to training everyday. It's my saving grace as it charges my phone when it dies at home which is often because of the terrible cell service I have. Oh well. It's doing the job.
I'm still amazed by all the beauty here, but also all the poverty that is cradled in it. It makes me sad.
In two years I may have done nothing, but exposed people to something new, but I get to leave after that two years. I get to go home. Back to toilets, showers, and clean running water.
I leave all of this behind just so I could say I did something. I'm beginning to feel a bit terrible.
Maybe I will come to terms with my American mind.
I'm beginning to blend them together.
Nearly on time. Five minutes late, but we were the first here today.
I feel bogged down by the language. It's clogging up my brain.
I'm ready to be done with home stay, but entirely nervous to be out in a community doing testing in a language I suck in and to also possibly suck period. I just don't want to suck.
I've decided to bring my computer to training everyday. It's my saving grace as it charges my phone when it dies at home which is often because of the terrible cell service I have. Oh well. It's doing the job.
I'm still amazed by all the beauty here, but also all the poverty that is cradled in it. It makes me sad.
In two years I may have done nothing, but exposed people to something new, but I get to leave after that two years. I get to go home. Back to toilets, showers, and clean running water.
I leave all of this behind just so I could say I did something. I'm beginning to feel a bit terrible.
Maybe I will come to terms with my American mind.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Day 18
Slaughtered another chicken today.
This was a mzungu chicken though as this meat was very soft from not roaming around freely. Just like that beef that is supposed to be so tender. Yuck. And I thought I was eating organic, but apparently that's what they wanted to buy for the mzungu. Shame really. I would have preferred the African chicken, but my chicken was so good.
I didn't go to church with my family today. I can't tell if they were disappointed or not. I'm not going to want to go next week or the week after that either. Church is big here though and wearing my bracelet I am identified as catholic more than I'd like. My grandma was right. :/
I went into town today with my PCT neighbor Paige. I nearly killed her. We went with her host sister and her/our cousin who apparently was taking us to some lady to help us shop. We were in the bowels of Ibanda. I was ready to be excreted.
The lady we met up with smelled so badly. I feel horrible saying that, but I understand why bathing so often is so big here. I'm grateful for my deodorant. The body odor here sometimes is serious. Whooo!
Well Paige wanted to shop for some new clothes. I could care less and wish I actually would have stayed with my family as they were killing my chicken and cooking it. It would have been nice. Plus my dad was sad to not be able to eat lunch with me... Which brings me to a tangent.
How the hell are all the girls gaining weight here?!? If anything I feel like everyone should be a twig. I rarely eat meat, there goes my protein, and everything else I eat is a starch. Yes. Im a little sick of all these starches. And dare I say it?!? I may not even want potatoes after this place.
Oh dear God what have I said?!!? I take it back. I'll just get some blue band and be good. Mashed potatoes here I come.
But in all seriousness, today I had tea which I am also slightly tired of mostly because having tea is actually sitting down for morning, afternoon, and evening snack. It doesn't necessarily have to involve tea. All I know is that I don't want tea three times a day and when you give it to me at seven and then dinner is at nine, I'm not hungry. Nope. Not a bit.
But anyways, I had tea with a slice of bread and an egg that made me want to throw up again. Dang eggs. Then I had dinner. A couple cigarettes for lunch. It was all good.
I don't need to eat that much. So I don't know how everyone eats so much. Stop trying to match the portions of the Ugandans. They are outputting massive amounts of calories. We are/you are not. So stop. Put the matoke down!!
Anyways. We go into town with the lady. Paige is starting to lose her shit. It's hot, she hasn't eaten, she's feeling faint and we are looking at all this stuff and she doesn't want any of it.
Paige finally finds something and I find a scarf. Why does the lady when I ask her how much it is, wraps it about herself and tells me it's a scarf. I'm different, not stupid. The hell, but don't wear my nearly purchased items!!
So after she's talking to Paige and trying to help Paige. Meanwhile my pre-purchase scarf has been taken hostage and is nestled into the bare smelly armpit of this woman.
I am contemplating my purchase.
After we ran away like a cat in water. The host sister was pretty let down though because apparently the lady cooked for us. We didn't even know we were meeting a lady and I had to get bread home, which I messed up royally anyways from having it in my bag.
Oh well.
Learned some government info from Paul, Charles' brother and did some studies with the kids. It's nice being here. Charles talked to me more tonight. He's a funny guy. I really want to get good at Ruyankore so I can communicate with them more.
Too bad I didn't do my assignment for tomorrow. Yeah. That's real.
Perfect picture of dedication.
This was a mzungu chicken though as this meat was very soft from not roaming around freely. Just like that beef that is supposed to be so tender. Yuck. And I thought I was eating organic, but apparently that's what they wanted to buy for the mzungu. Shame really. I would have preferred the African chicken, but my chicken was so good.
I didn't go to church with my family today. I can't tell if they were disappointed or not. I'm not going to want to go next week or the week after that either. Church is big here though and wearing my bracelet I am identified as catholic more than I'd like. My grandma was right. :/
I went into town today with my PCT neighbor Paige. I nearly killed her. We went with her host sister and her/our cousin who apparently was taking us to some lady to help us shop. We were in the bowels of Ibanda. I was ready to be excreted.
The lady we met up with smelled so badly. I feel horrible saying that, but I understand why bathing so often is so big here. I'm grateful for my deodorant. The body odor here sometimes is serious. Whooo!
Well Paige wanted to shop for some new clothes. I could care less and wish I actually would have stayed with my family as they were killing my chicken and cooking it. It would have been nice. Plus my dad was sad to not be able to eat lunch with me... Which brings me to a tangent.
How the hell are all the girls gaining weight here?!? If anything I feel like everyone should be a twig. I rarely eat meat, there goes my protein, and everything else I eat is a starch. Yes. Im a little sick of all these starches. And dare I say it?!? I may not even want potatoes after this place.
Oh dear God what have I said?!!? I take it back. I'll just get some blue band and be good. Mashed potatoes here I come.
But in all seriousness, today I had tea which I am also slightly tired of mostly because having tea is actually sitting down for morning, afternoon, and evening snack. It doesn't necessarily have to involve tea. All I know is that I don't want tea three times a day and when you give it to me at seven and then dinner is at nine, I'm not hungry. Nope. Not a bit.
But anyways, I had tea with a slice of bread and an egg that made me want to throw up again. Dang eggs. Then I had dinner. A couple cigarettes for lunch. It was all good.
I don't need to eat that much. So I don't know how everyone eats so much. Stop trying to match the portions of the Ugandans. They are outputting massive amounts of calories. We are/you are not. So stop. Put the matoke down!!
Anyways. We go into town with the lady. Paige is starting to lose her shit. It's hot, she hasn't eaten, she's feeling faint and we are looking at all this stuff and she doesn't want any of it.
Paige finally finds something and I find a scarf. Why does the lady when I ask her how much it is, wraps it about herself and tells me it's a scarf. I'm different, not stupid. The hell, but don't wear my nearly purchased items!!
So after she's talking to Paige and trying to help Paige. Meanwhile my pre-purchase scarf has been taken hostage and is nestled into the bare smelly armpit of this woman.
I am contemplating my purchase.
After we ran away like a cat in water. The host sister was pretty let down though because apparently the lady cooked for us. We didn't even know we were meeting a lady and I had to get bread home, which I messed up royally anyways from having it in my bag.
Oh well.
Learned some government info from Paul, Charles' brother and did some studies with the kids. It's nice being here. Charles talked to me more tonight. He's a funny guy. I really want to get good at Ruyankore so I can communicate with them more.
Too bad I didn't do my assignment for tomorrow. Yeah. That's real.
Perfect picture of dedication.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Day 17
It's official. I'm nuts. If my girlfriend still wants to be my girlfriend after this, then we have to get married. Otherwise, there is no hope for me. Oh yeah, 'cause did I mention? I'm nuts.
I'm in the fucking Peace Corps. I have decided to place my fate in a governmental do good agency that decided to place me in Uganda, Africa. The pearl of Africa and hence the epicenter of danger because no one is letting up on pearls that easy. Opposition from all sides-this is of course talking about the clam in which the pearl is housed. Needless to say, I'm off my rocker.
Today I witnessed the slaughtering of a chicken. What's the big deal you say, just a little blood you say. I say have you seen a chicken be slaughtered? Like cut the neck, remove the feathers, undo the tied legs because it has finally stopped moving even though it's head has been cut off slaughtered? And now I understand where that phrase comes from.
But it doesn't stop there. After the feathers were plucked, then dry banana leaves were lit to place a fire under this chickens ass. Literally. They smoked the chicken. Then they took the chicken for entrails removal. I thought I was going to be sick.
So including the chicken slaughter, I was quite productive today. Did laundry, washed dishes, peeled potatoes, learned to peel matoke, mopped cement floors with a tshirt, and I rode a bike which was seemingly quite impressive to everyone.
I didn't realize, but I don't ever see girls on bikes. This place is so crazy.
Being able to spend the day with my host mom today was lovely. She does so much work and I'm not quite sure how we manages. Makes me want to cry for her.
I was wiped today. Killer sunburn on my neck from washing and just everything drained me. So drained. The hell does she do it? She's a machine. Seriously.
Today when I was helping her peel matoke she was so sweet and said I was a good try-er. I couldn't stop laughing. It was so sweet. I felt happy that she acknowledged my yet because I was sucking at peeling those damn banana things. Sucking.
They asked me more questions today. The oldest girl thought I was 29. Ouch. I wanted to cry. No one ever thinks I'm old. Then she said it was because I don't look so young, just very old. I did a sad face.
Discovered the mom's name yesterday. Midress, which I now understand why I had know idea what it was. Glad I never called her Mildreth again. Midress is a much better name though anyways. Love Midress to be precise.
She's a machine. Thank God for tired as I was able to use it as an excuse to not go to church. Ooh... I don't know if I should be thanking God for my dip out justification. I'm not sure he's impressed.
Shared a bit more today. The grandma came over and was the cutest thing all over again. Took her picture. She loved it. I loved it. I got some really good pics today. I love it. Absolutely. And she asked about my family which then let my host mom inadvertently ask about my family. Showed pictures which was cool and turned the camera to the front at one point when we were taking pics. The grandma was in absolute disbelief. Absolute.
I need to study this language so I can start saying things. Seriously. I did it with Spanish. Now to do it with Ruyankore. And that is the proper spelling.
We talked about slaughtering animals today and I'm not excited to kill our chicken today or for them to try and feed me the gizzard. Oh yuck.
Ew, but the dad told me how he's going to take me to a place where they slaughter cows. The hell? The cow just seems too big to slaughter. Too big. I could barely do the chicken. How do you think I'm going to manage the big ass cow.
Needless to say, I didn't eat meat today. I didn't eat much. I'm over the food and sweating it out. It's an unpleasant smell to me. I just want my original scent back. I need to start being able to cook for myself. Find some Prego. I like Prego.
There are so many more days here.
I'm scared for that too. It's been two weeks and my partner is having a hard time. I'm pissing in pit latrines and bathing from a bucket, I just wish my girlfriend wasn't hurting. Everything seems just so present and so demanding. It's really hard balancing my personal adjustment and then trying to help her adjust.
At least she gets to go out and drink. Drive her car. Smoke freely as a choice. What I would give.
See? Fucking nuts.
On the plus side I shit for the first time in days. My pit latrine christening was successful!!! And I didn't miss!! Come with the boom. Boom. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.
So I've decided that at site all I need is electricity, running water, and good cell service. I can deal with a pit latrine, the only thing is the maintenance. Oh ew.
Maybe I'm having second thoughts...
I'm in the fucking Peace Corps. I have decided to place my fate in a governmental do good agency that decided to place me in Uganda, Africa. The pearl of Africa and hence the epicenter of danger because no one is letting up on pearls that easy. Opposition from all sides-this is of course talking about the clam in which the pearl is housed. Needless to say, I'm off my rocker.
Today I witnessed the slaughtering of a chicken. What's the big deal you say, just a little blood you say. I say have you seen a chicken be slaughtered? Like cut the neck, remove the feathers, undo the tied legs because it has finally stopped moving even though it's head has been cut off slaughtered? And now I understand where that phrase comes from.
But it doesn't stop there. After the feathers were plucked, then dry banana leaves were lit to place a fire under this chickens ass. Literally. They smoked the chicken. Then they took the chicken for entrails removal. I thought I was going to be sick.
So including the chicken slaughter, I was quite productive today. Did laundry, washed dishes, peeled potatoes, learned to peel matoke, mopped cement floors with a tshirt, and I rode a bike which was seemingly quite impressive to everyone.
I didn't realize, but I don't ever see girls on bikes. This place is so crazy.
Being able to spend the day with my host mom today was lovely. She does so much work and I'm not quite sure how we manages. Makes me want to cry for her.
I was wiped today. Killer sunburn on my neck from washing and just everything drained me. So drained. The hell does she do it? She's a machine. Seriously.
Today when I was helping her peel matoke she was so sweet and said I was a good try-er. I couldn't stop laughing. It was so sweet. I felt happy that she acknowledged my yet because I was sucking at peeling those damn banana things. Sucking.
They asked me more questions today. The oldest girl thought I was 29. Ouch. I wanted to cry. No one ever thinks I'm old. Then she said it was because I don't look so young, just very old. I did a sad face.
Discovered the mom's name yesterday. Midress, which I now understand why I had know idea what it was. Glad I never called her Mildreth again. Midress is a much better name though anyways. Love Midress to be precise.
She's a machine. Thank God for tired as I was able to use it as an excuse to not go to church. Ooh... I don't know if I should be thanking God for my dip out justification. I'm not sure he's impressed.
Shared a bit more today. The grandma came over and was the cutest thing all over again. Took her picture. She loved it. I loved it. I got some really good pics today. I love it. Absolutely. And she asked about my family which then let my host mom inadvertently ask about my family. Showed pictures which was cool and turned the camera to the front at one point when we were taking pics. The grandma was in absolute disbelief. Absolute.
I need to study this language so I can start saying things. Seriously. I did it with Spanish. Now to do it with Ruyankore. And that is the proper spelling.
We talked about slaughtering animals today and I'm not excited to kill our chicken today or for them to try and feed me the gizzard. Oh yuck.
Ew, but the dad told me how he's going to take me to a place where they slaughter cows. The hell? The cow just seems too big to slaughter. Too big. I could barely do the chicken. How do you think I'm going to manage the big ass cow.
Needless to say, I didn't eat meat today. I didn't eat much. I'm over the food and sweating it out. It's an unpleasant smell to me. I just want my original scent back. I need to start being able to cook for myself. Find some Prego. I like Prego.
There are so many more days here.
I'm scared for that too. It's been two weeks and my partner is having a hard time. I'm pissing in pit latrines and bathing from a bucket, I just wish my girlfriend wasn't hurting. Everything seems just so present and so demanding. It's really hard balancing my personal adjustment and then trying to help her adjust.
At least she gets to go out and drink. Drive her car. Smoke freely as a choice. What I would give.
See? Fucking nuts.
On the plus side I shit for the first time in days. My pit latrine christening was successful!!! And I didn't miss!! Come with the boom. Boom. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.
So I've decided that at site all I need is electricity, running water, and good cell service. I can deal with a pit latrine, the only thing is the maintenance. Oh ew.
Maybe I'm having second thoughts...
Day 16
We were late to training again today. My brain is fried from language. It's too much, but then not enough like Spanish to be at all helpful. Makes me want to kill myself.
I also want to kill other people. Stop staring at me and stop calling me mujungo. I hate it's guts.
Tindi mujungo. Ndi Kathryn.
Why doesn't that work? Because even though I may have spelled it wrong there, I'm pretty sure I'm pronouncing it properly which in the end is all that really matters.
Fucking stress. Fucking people. Fuck me.
Wasn't in the mood today. Yeah. Today I'm a bitch. Today I'm tired of eating starches. I don't want anymore matoke. I don't want anymore beans. I don't want anything! No more bananas which I'm hating more than often. Hating my life right now.
Talked about going home and how easy it would be. Talked about struggles and possibly sucking. I don't want to suck. I don't want all of this to be in vain, to be for nothing. It would mean that all these struggles were struggles for struggles sake. I can't.
I have been shoving things in my mouth today that I just don't want to eat. It's messing with my pH balance. I don't smell like I used to. I want my scent back. Everything smells the same. Must smells the same, vagina smells the same. It's this same musty odor. Mine isn't strong like I've smelled, but there is this faint you've been eating nothing but rice and beans and shit that we want you to stop eating smell. I feel like the little spices they do use are seeping out of every possible pore.
I don't like it. I just want my scent back.
I'm sweating out Uganda.
Yuck.
I also want to kill other people. Stop staring at me and stop calling me mujungo. I hate it's guts.
Tindi mujungo. Ndi Kathryn.
Why doesn't that work? Because even though I may have spelled it wrong there, I'm pretty sure I'm pronouncing it properly which in the end is all that really matters.
Fucking stress. Fucking people. Fuck me.
Wasn't in the mood today. Yeah. Today I'm a bitch. Today I'm tired of eating starches. I don't want anymore matoke. I don't want anymore beans. I don't want anything! No more bananas which I'm hating more than often. Hating my life right now.
Talked about going home and how easy it would be. Talked about struggles and possibly sucking. I don't want to suck. I don't want all of this to be in vain, to be for nothing. It would mean that all these struggles were struggles for struggles sake. I can't.
I have been shoving things in my mouth today that I just don't want to eat. It's messing with my pH balance. I don't smell like I used to. I want my scent back. Everything smells the same. Must smells the same, vagina smells the same. It's this same musty odor. Mine isn't strong like I've smelled, but there is this faint you've been eating nothing but rice and beans and shit that we want you to stop eating smell. I feel like the little spices they do use are seeping out of every possible pore.
I don't like it. I just want my scent back.
I'm sweating out Uganda.
Yuck.
Day 13
Today was long and laid back. My clothes were still on the line from washing on Sunday. It has rained Sunday and every morning and night since. I finally took them off today.
Training was minimal today as it is our last days. So most of us said our goodbyes and did our last minute packing.
We leave tomorrow for our home stays. I don't feel prepared. Especially since I haven't looked at language since last week and when I walked into class today and Fere asked me a gajillion questions I could only answer one and shamefully put my head down, not before burning red and flashing confused eyes at her.
Tomorrow will be something. I'm scared to eat meat.
Funny that's my biggest concern. I feel I should be... Nope I was gonna say the pit latrine, but then I realized that being scared of the meat is completely logical.
Wish me luck.
Training was minimal today as it is our last days. So most of us said our goodbyes and did our last minute packing.
We leave tomorrow for our home stays. I don't feel prepared. Especially since I haven't looked at language since last week and when I walked into class today and Fere asked me a gajillion questions I could only answer one and shamefully put my head down, not before burning red and flashing confused eyes at her.
Tomorrow will be something. I'm scared to eat meat.
Funny that's my biggest concern. I feel I should be... Nope I was gonna say the pit latrine, but then I realized that being scared of the meat is completely logical.
Wish me luck.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Day 15
First day of training at satellite and it's official, it's been two weeks.
It's also official that I hope I don't end up sounding like other volunteers who slow down their speech so much they sound like they're talking to retarded chimpanzees.
Maybe that was rude, but that is most definitely the way it seems. Apparently the Ugandan people don't find it rude, but helpful, but I think it sounds ridiculous and I think you can slow down your words without sounding like a jackass.
Just a thought. We got to training half an hour late today. Talked with Paul who I think is going to be someone who really helps me with language. He's Charles' brother and he asked me way more than the host parents combined.
I'm still waiting for that, but I suppose it has only been day one. Which wasn't so bad. She fed me at a decent hour and then was like um... What time do you go to bed and when I said between 9 and 11, but 11 is late, she goes it's 10. Alright then. And off I go.
We got off early today from training and had a beer at the center. I wish I would have had two. That would have been nice. Walked home and everyone loved us. Weirdest thing is that these girls came out of nowhere and called us by name and touched us and all sorts of nonsense. They even knew which name belonged to who. Creep.
Whenever we speak our greetings, people get so excited and laugh or are awestruck. You can see this in their faces.
I love getting the awestruckers.
This place that we are in is beautiful. Absolutely. I love the sky. It's so expansive. Nothing to obstruct the view. I'm just in love with how green everything is and the crazy things that grow on every tree here. I feel like how is anyone malnourished?
I learned the word for potato yesterday an shared it with my host parents, yup had emundi for dinner tonight. Boom.
Asked to help as my host mom said I would be able to do and she instead let me watch her cool cabbage. I'm actually a bit excited for that because I like cabbage.
So their was a construction site in my tiny room today to fix my janked up net and to put a light bulb in the socket. Oh yeah. I was in darkness all day yesterday. That bucket bath was scary!!
Ok so I have light, so now I can see dust in my bed and the colony of ants that decided to make the wall their official landing site has become worse as there are now winged ants in their lineup. Please God. Save me from the ants.
They seem to be ok, except my host mom was like Kathryn you have dirt in your room where in my head I'm like no shit you were just drilling in there amongst other nonsense. I say I can help her, she gives me the nonverbal, just throated unh uh, but I follow her anyways and see that the dirt she's talking about is the colony.
So now I have less ants, well less living moving ants, but I also have a good brigade down on the floor possibly waiting to counterattack. I can't deal with this!!
Let's see what happens.
It's also official that I hope I don't end up sounding like other volunteers who slow down their speech so much they sound like they're talking to retarded chimpanzees.
Maybe that was rude, but that is most definitely the way it seems. Apparently the Ugandan people don't find it rude, but helpful, but I think it sounds ridiculous and I think you can slow down your words without sounding like a jackass.
Just a thought. We got to training half an hour late today. Talked with Paul who I think is going to be someone who really helps me with language. He's Charles' brother and he asked me way more than the host parents combined.
I'm still waiting for that, but I suppose it has only been day one. Which wasn't so bad. She fed me at a decent hour and then was like um... What time do you go to bed and when I said between 9 and 11, but 11 is late, she goes it's 10. Alright then. And off I go.
We got off early today from training and had a beer at the center. I wish I would have had two. That would have been nice. Walked home and everyone loved us. Weirdest thing is that these girls came out of nowhere and called us by name and touched us and all sorts of nonsense. They even knew which name belonged to who. Creep.
Whenever we speak our greetings, people get so excited and laugh or are awestruck. You can see this in their faces.
I love getting the awestruckers.
This place that we are in is beautiful. Absolutely. I love the sky. It's so expansive. Nothing to obstruct the view. I'm just in love with how green everything is and the crazy things that grow on every tree here. I feel like how is anyone malnourished?
I learned the word for potato yesterday an shared it with my host parents, yup had emundi for dinner tonight. Boom.
Asked to help as my host mom said I would be able to do and she instead let me watch her cool cabbage. I'm actually a bit excited for that because I like cabbage.
So their was a construction site in my tiny room today to fix my janked up net and to put a light bulb in the socket. Oh yeah. I was in darkness all day yesterday. That bucket bath was scary!!
Ok so I have light, so now I can see dust in my bed and the colony of ants that decided to make the wall their official landing site has become worse as there are now winged ants in their lineup. Please God. Save me from the ants.
They seem to be ok, except my host mom was like Kathryn you have dirt in your room where in my head I'm like no shit you were just drilling in there amongst other nonsense. I say I can help her, she gives me the nonverbal, just throated unh uh, but I follow her anyways and see that the dirt she's talking about is the colony.
So now I have less ants, well less living moving ants, but I also have a good brigade down on the floor possibly waiting to counterattack. I can't deal with this!!
Let's see what happens.
Day 14
It's been a week and I want to die. Traveling from Kulika to Ibanda and I'm starting to freak out. We meet our home stay parents today and I'm no where near prepared with language.
Not to mention the hole in my dress so of course people will not think I'm 'smart.' Oh well. Stitched it in the most cramped transportation ride for six hours where we were nearly attacked and killed by a killer bumble bee. Thank God for our equator stop that brought the bee to everyone's attention. Otherwise it would have gotten me in my sleep. Unacceptable.
Sleeping in that thing was so difficult. I haven't had difficulty sleeping like that since I was in high school. Usually now I just sleep. Couldn't on this taxi bus thing that smelled like a really strong thrift store.
I can't believe I'm doing this still.
We did see zebras on the way. Is that a reason?
So we get to our training site and we are all sitting there, the host families are waiting for us and it ends up being cake. Everyone speaks English I don't have to bust out any of my language skills thanks be. Everyone is excited to see us, which puts me at ease.
We eat, I'm famished, so I even eat the chicken. People start pairing off with their host families, I had no idea who I belong to or who is lucky enough to get me, then walks in this beautiful woman I swear straight out of Lion King and she looks just as I would imagine an African queen to look. She looks resplendent and absolutely regal with this beautifully patterned matching top and bottom set with her close cut hair and I think it's the strength of her jaw and cheeks mixed with her severely almond shaped eyes that gives her the look of a lioness. You fear her, but you respect her because she looks so powerful and beautiful.
Got me another mom gf.
I'm pretty sure my mouth dropped to the floor. Next thing she's getting this huge introduction and I hear the last name Musunguzi or something ( I don't know the last name now, but did then), and I'm like yes!!! This is my host mom.
Then the reaction. She seemed a bit disappointed when I volunteered myself as hers. I'm not sure it helped that the guy in charge was like oh you guys look the same. Same color. You're sisters. She wasn't looking that impressed.
I found out quickly that my host mom doesn't talk much. She does do a lot though. She brings me water in this Jerry cans that look like they weigh a ton. We had evening tea.
It's weird being foreign and visiting. I don't like all this special treatment.
There was meat tonight. I ate it. I was so scared to, then it wasn't bad. I drank the water too, but knew it was boiled because it tasted like charcoal.
I realize I haven't peed all day. No one showed me where the latrine was either and when I asked about the bathroom, the little girl showed me this jail cell looking thing. I ended up peeing in there after all when i was bucket bathing. It was the longest pee of life. I swear. Austin Powers had nothing on what I did that night.
My net is kin of jank. Hopefully it will be fixed tomorrow.
Bed now. Training at 8:30. Whoop. Not.
Not to mention the hole in my dress so of course people will not think I'm 'smart.' Oh well. Stitched it in the most cramped transportation ride for six hours where we were nearly attacked and killed by a killer bumble bee. Thank God for our equator stop that brought the bee to everyone's attention. Otherwise it would have gotten me in my sleep. Unacceptable.
Sleeping in that thing was so difficult. I haven't had difficulty sleeping like that since I was in high school. Usually now I just sleep. Couldn't on this taxi bus thing that smelled like a really strong thrift store.
I can't believe I'm doing this still.
We did see zebras on the way. Is that a reason?
So we get to our training site and we are all sitting there, the host families are waiting for us and it ends up being cake. Everyone speaks English I don't have to bust out any of my language skills thanks be. Everyone is excited to see us, which puts me at ease.
We eat, I'm famished, so I even eat the chicken. People start pairing off with their host families, I had no idea who I belong to or who is lucky enough to get me, then walks in this beautiful woman I swear straight out of Lion King and she looks just as I would imagine an African queen to look. She looks resplendent and absolutely regal with this beautifully patterned matching top and bottom set with her close cut hair and I think it's the strength of her jaw and cheeks mixed with her severely almond shaped eyes that gives her the look of a lioness. You fear her, but you respect her because she looks so powerful and beautiful.
Got me another mom gf.
I'm pretty sure my mouth dropped to the floor. Next thing she's getting this huge introduction and I hear the last name Musunguzi or something ( I don't know the last name now, but did then), and I'm like yes!!! This is my host mom.
Then the reaction. She seemed a bit disappointed when I volunteered myself as hers. I'm not sure it helped that the guy in charge was like oh you guys look the same. Same color. You're sisters. She wasn't looking that impressed.
I found out quickly that my host mom doesn't talk much. She does do a lot though. She brings me water in this Jerry cans that look like they weigh a ton. We had evening tea.
It's weird being foreign and visiting. I don't like all this special treatment.
There was meat tonight. I ate it. I was so scared to, then it wasn't bad. I drank the water too, but knew it was boiled because it tasted like charcoal.
I realize I haven't peed all day. No one showed me where the latrine was either and when I asked about the bathroom, the little girl showed me this jail cell looking thing. I ended up peeing in there after all when i was bucket bathing. It was the longest pee of life. I swear. Austin Powers had nothing on what I did that night.
My net is kin of jank. Hopefully it will be fixed tomorrow.
Bed now. Training at 8:30. Whoop. Not.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Day 12
It hasn't even been two weeks and it feels like an eternity.
Today we visited the American embassy. It was crazy. The building was huge and I was in the weirdest space. People asked if the embassy made me miss home and it didn't. It made me think oh wow. This is the representation of America that we give? Huge, grand, unnecessarily big buildings and guns blazing attitude? I'm not sure if because I am American that this bravado makes me want to throw up and hand over my citizenship title or if I am just off.
Anyways, I did not miss America from that visit. It made me happy to e opening my mind an removing myself from that attitude from some time.
We had a bit of training when we returned from Kulika, but after I found a little boy to play with. Everyone calls him Joshua, but I actually don't know his name. It sounds like Joshua, but isn't and he is called a name that is given to first borns of twins.
We ran around the building and then looked at all the bugger fire ants and then we played with the leftover dead termite's wings. Those moments had to be my favorite and although I couldn't speak to this boy and be understood, I understood his laughter and he mine.
I felt like that was my first moment of many that will renew my faith into my reason for being here.
I found out about my home stay situation last night. I am going to a small more rural town in the southwest called Ibanda. Anne says the houses are not big and may not look nice, but that they are good. I am assuming I will be making use of a night bucket. I'm not very impressed, but grateful to have people to help me. It is a family of seven. Sound familiar?
The dad is a carpenter with a shop in town. The mom is a primary school teacher and they have three girls and two boys. The oldest is university age- I don't know how old that is and the youngest is a baby aged three. School will be out when I begin my home stay so the mom won't be working that whole time. I'm excited to go and learn and use my language, but very nervous at the same time. Another volunteer is neighboring me with another family in the same collar which is nice.
Wednesday and we leave for home stay. I'm so nervous, but then I think about that little boy from yesterday and I'm not so nervous anymore.
We'll see how everything goes.
Today we visited the American embassy. It was crazy. The building was huge and I was in the weirdest space. People asked if the embassy made me miss home and it didn't. It made me think oh wow. This is the representation of America that we give? Huge, grand, unnecessarily big buildings and guns blazing attitude? I'm not sure if because I am American that this bravado makes me want to throw up and hand over my citizenship title or if I am just off.
Anyways, I did not miss America from that visit. It made me happy to e opening my mind an removing myself from that attitude from some time.
We had a bit of training when we returned from Kulika, but after I found a little boy to play with. Everyone calls him Joshua, but I actually don't know his name. It sounds like Joshua, but isn't and he is called a name that is given to first borns of twins.
We ran around the building and then looked at all the bugger fire ants and then we played with the leftover dead termite's wings. Those moments had to be my favorite and although I couldn't speak to this boy and be understood, I understood his laughter and he mine.
I felt like that was my first moment of many that will renew my faith into my reason for being here.
I found out about my home stay situation last night. I am going to a small more rural town in the southwest called Ibanda. Anne says the houses are not big and may not look nice, but that they are good. I am assuming I will be making use of a night bucket. I'm not very impressed, but grateful to have people to help me. It is a family of seven. Sound familiar?
The dad is a carpenter with a shop in town. The mom is a primary school teacher and they have three girls and two boys. The oldest is university age- I don't know how old that is and the youngest is a baby aged three. School will be out when I begin my home stay so the mom won't be working that whole time. I'm excited to go and learn and use my language, but very nervous at the same time. Another volunteer is neighboring me with another family in the same collar which is nice.
Wednesday and we leave for home stay. I'm so nervous, but then I think about that little boy from yesterday and I'm not so nervous anymore.
We'll see how everything goes.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Day 11
The days here seem so very long like there are three days packed and stacked one on top of the other squished into one.
Time rolls over onto itself and then stops for a breather where he reverses and stands still watching the hands of his time teller until he can make sense of them again.
I wish he could mend them to bend.
Two years. I still can't believe I'm here. I wonder wen it will wear off.
Today was a lazy day. I didn't fall asleep until sometime after five and then was up bright and early for seven something. Had some breakfast which were potatoes, omg potatoes!! And then hand washed my laundry. There was so much stinking laundry. It is still on the line, which is not advisable due to mango flies. These suckers lay eggs on your damp clothes and then when they come in contact with human flesh they burrow under the skin and develop. Yup larvae under your skin. If you don't have them removed, they will eventually fly out of you fully developed. Gross.
I talked to my mom today for the first time on the phone since I've been here. Let me tell you. America is spoiled with their phone plans. What I wouldn't give for unlimited nights and weekends.
Oohwi.
There are so many noises tonight. Dogs barking, frogs doing what they do and Gary making this weird sound as he scurries up and down the walls. He's freaking me out. Ew.
The bugs here are insane. I'm halfway over them.
I'm pretty sure I'm halfway over everything. Just a thought.
Time rolls over onto itself and then stops for a breather where he reverses and stands still watching the hands of his time teller until he can make sense of them again.
I wish he could mend them to bend.
Two years. I still can't believe I'm here. I wonder wen it will wear off.
Today was a lazy day. I didn't fall asleep until sometime after five and then was up bright and early for seven something. Had some breakfast which were potatoes, omg potatoes!! And then hand washed my laundry. There was so much stinking laundry. It is still on the line, which is not advisable due to mango flies. These suckers lay eggs on your damp clothes and then when they come in contact with human flesh they burrow under the skin and develop. Yup larvae under your skin. If you don't have them removed, they will eventually fly out of you fully developed. Gross.
I talked to my mom today for the first time on the phone since I've been here. Let me tell you. America is spoiled with their phone plans. What I wouldn't give for unlimited nights and weekends.
Oohwi.
There are so many noises tonight. Dogs barking, frogs doing what they do and Gary making this weird sound as he scurries up and down the walls. He's freaking me out. Ew.
The bugs here are insane. I'm halfway over them.
I'm pretty sure I'm halfway over everything. Just a thought.
Day 10
Saturday and we are in Kampala. This city is crazy big. Crazy busy. Crazy sketch.
A girl had a necklace yanked off her neck in our group.
People called me mzungu-it means white person in translation, but has come to embody most who are not from Uganda, the foreigners. I am foreign. I hate that word. I spoke in my language today and told a man that my name was Kathryn, not mzungu. He walked away looking quite embarrassed. I told one of the trainers about it and she said I shamed him and good for me. I was quite proud of myself too.
So every group has their clique. I have mine. It's funny because I stick with my Buffalo girls and my little southern belle. Those are my confidants and my like minders. I appreciate them. We separated ourselves from the group we had acquired in Kampala because my Buffalo girl really wanted a lesso. It's a traditional wrap that you wear when coming out of the shower.
So I asked some guy who had I love Uganda stickers who thought I wanted to buy speakers and he told us where to go. We still didn't know where to go, but found ourselves in a textile market. It was great. Meghan was able to fun some beautiful beautiful material. I'm actually a little jealous.
There was a bonfire tonight with trunks of trees that just got pushed further into the fire until they were fully consumed by the flames. It was so cool.
Everyone was drinking and dancing and having a good time. A lot of he staff came and drank with us and mad s'mores for the first time which was awesome. Talked with a few local boys. One loves our friend Brittany who the men in Kampala call cheesecake. Oh Lord. Peter simply told her that he has placed her in a box in his heart. I'm scared there are no air holes in there.
I even made two people cry. Not intentionally, but I feel happy that people feel they can open up to me. I really do. It also helped me to bond with people. Makes me want to do peer support network with the Corps. I love hearing people's problems and thinking I can fix everything. :)
It's late and I'm over being bitten by ants. Yes ants bite here and make you bleed, plus the termites are a bit excessive.
There are tons of bugs here.
A girl had a necklace yanked off her neck in our group.
People called me mzungu-it means white person in translation, but has come to embody most who are not from Uganda, the foreigners. I am foreign. I hate that word. I spoke in my language today and told a man that my name was Kathryn, not mzungu. He walked away looking quite embarrassed. I told one of the trainers about it and she said I shamed him and good for me. I was quite proud of myself too.
So every group has their clique. I have mine. It's funny because I stick with my Buffalo girls and my little southern belle. Those are my confidants and my like minders. I appreciate them. We separated ourselves from the group we had acquired in Kampala because my Buffalo girl really wanted a lesso. It's a traditional wrap that you wear when coming out of the shower.
So I asked some guy who had I love Uganda stickers who thought I wanted to buy speakers and he told us where to go. We still didn't know where to go, but found ourselves in a textile market. It was great. Meghan was able to fun some beautiful beautiful material. I'm actually a little jealous.
There was a bonfire tonight with trunks of trees that just got pushed further into the fire until they were fully consumed by the flames. It was so cool.
Everyone was drinking and dancing and having a good time. A lot of he staff came and drank with us and mad s'mores for the first time which was awesome. Talked with a few local boys. One loves our friend Brittany who the men in Kampala call cheesecake. Oh Lord. Peter simply told her that he has placed her in a box in his heart. I'm scared there are no air holes in there.
I even made two people cry. Not intentionally, but I feel happy that people feel they can open up to me. I really do. It also helped me to bond with people. Makes me want to do peer support network with the Corps. I love hearing people's problems and thinking I can fix everything. :)
It's late and I'm over being bitten by ants. Yes ants bite here and make you bleed, plus the termites are a bit excessive.
There are tons of bugs here.
Day 9
It rained today like I feel I've never heard rain today. No thunder, just a beating of water against the world. I didn't want to face it, but just stay in the bed all day.
I eventually got out.
Language training is difficult for me. Every time I think I have it, I don't. It's a good group of girls in my group, we are all trying hard. And it will be nice to have so many, five other girls, speaking the same language as me.
We have been told that we are going to have a bonfire tomorrow night. I'm excited for that. Bonfire and beer. Local beer at that. I'm a bit amped!!!
Training today dealt with social norms around gender roles and sex. The culture of men and women here is very different than my understanding of Americas. I say understanding, because although in America we have more gender equality, it doesn't transcend everything.
There is a double standard here about a woman's virginity and purity versus a mans just like back home. The difference here is that a women is meant simply as a mans pleasure tool. He is not concerned with her satisfaction or her needs or desires, but simply with his own. I can't say that this isn't America at all, but I know that I have a choice especially with someone I'm dating. I can speak out about it. But that's just me and my circumstances I suppose.
It's just crazy to be here in this new environment learning about all d these different things and seeing another person's perspective.
Things you think you knew, you have no idea.
I eventually got out.
Language training is difficult for me. Every time I think I have it, I don't. It's a good group of girls in my group, we are all trying hard. And it will be nice to have so many, five other girls, speaking the same language as me.
We have been told that we are going to have a bonfire tomorrow night. I'm excited for that. Bonfire and beer. Local beer at that. I'm a bit amped!!!
Training today dealt with social norms around gender roles and sex. The culture of men and women here is very different than my understanding of Americas. I say understanding, because although in America we have more gender equality, it doesn't transcend everything.
There is a double standard here about a woman's virginity and purity versus a mans just like back home. The difference here is that a women is meant simply as a mans pleasure tool. He is not concerned with her satisfaction or her needs or desires, but simply with his own. I can't say that this isn't America at all, but I know that I have a choice especially with someone I'm dating. I can speak out about it. But that's just me and my circumstances I suppose.
It's just crazy to be here in this new environment learning about all d these different things and seeing another person's perspective.
Things you think you knew, you have no idea.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Day 8
I hope to remember the sky of this place. The sky is remarkable. The clouds always look placed and perfectly drawn to fit with the colors of the sky whether it is day, night, or transition.
Day 7
We found out about our site locations today!!!
I had been thinking I wanted to work in a place doing data entry in Jinja Town, but I didn't get tht placement. Instead I am working at this place called AIDS Information Center (AIC). It's a pretty big organization here in Uganda. It's an NGO and has four locations. Another girl was placed with them in the north. I hope it gives me an excuse to come up and visit her.
My location is in the south west portion of the country.
I had been thinking I wanted to work in a place doing data entry in Jinja Town, but I didn't get tht placement. Instead I am working at this place called AIDS Information Center (AIC). It's a pretty big organization here in Uganda. It's an NGO and has four locations. Another girl was placed with them in the north. I hope it gives me an excuse to come up and visit her.
My location is in the south west portion of the country.
Day 6
I'm using the diva cup again.
Tampons suck. That day and a half of stuck-ness spoiled me and now I'm changing my tampon every like three hours. Fucking heavy flow. Shit. Not now. Not now.
Today was a relaxing day. We played a lot of games, got a rabies shot, talked about HIV, you know how much I enjoy that. We are getting closer to our home stays which I'm freaking out about, but I'm really excited to start learning my language and being in a community that speaks only my language.
The only thing I'm nervous about is food. Since I've been here I think I have eaten three pieces of meat. I've passed on the goat, on the fish, and on the crickets that were offered to me. The boiled mashed bananas I'm not really so crazy about either, so no worries on finding me as a skinny bitch when I get back, there is plenty of rice and beans for me to stay full and happy on. And I mean full.
By the way. There is a lizard in our room. We call him a gecko, but I think that isn't accurate. We have named him Gary. Apparently he's been here since the first night. I would like him to leave, but it sounds like he has managed to find his way into my bag which I left open for the first time all week.
I don't really want to find Gary in my bag tomorrow. He's kinda freaking me out, but I suppose if I had to choose my bed or my bag, I'd rather find him as a present in my book bag than in my face in the morning.
I'm going to fix my mosquito net. Hopefully it will keep Gary out too.
Tampons suck. That day and a half of stuck-ness spoiled me and now I'm changing my tampon every like three hours. Fucking heavy flow. Shit. Not now. Not now.
Today was a relaxing day. We played a lot of games, got a rabies shot, talked about HIV, you know how much I enjoy that. We are getting closer to our home stays which I'm freaking out about, but I'm really excited to start learning my language and being in a community that speaks only my language.
The only thing I'm nervous about is food. Since I've been here I think I have eaten three pieces of meat. I've passed on the goat, on the fish, and on the crickets that were offered to me. The boiled mashed bananas I'm not really so crazy about either, so no worries on finding me as a skinny bitch when I get back, there is plenty of rice and beans for me to stay full and happy on. And I mean full.
By the way. There is a lizard in our room. We call him a gecko, but I think that isn't accurate. We have named him Gary. Apparently he's been here since the first night. I would like him to leave, but it sounds like he has managed to find his way into my bag which I left open for the first time all week.
I don't really want to find Gary in my bag tomorrow. He's kinda freaking me out, but I suppose if I had to choose my bed or my bag, I'd rather find him as a present in my book bag than in my face in the morning.
I'm going to fix my mosquito net. Hopefully it will keep Gary out too.
Day 5
Today they had the memorial service for the girl who died in the car crash. Her name was Danielle.
It was amazing to see so many people come together and remember her life. All of Peace Corps came to show support and it made me feel truly blessed and proud to be able to say that I am now a part of this family.
It was a beautiful memorial. She sounded like an amazingly positive and caring person. I'm glad I got to hear about her life, even if it was just a piece of it.
After the memorial, I traveled to Kampala with the Peace Corps nurse so she could officially and finally remove my implanted diva cup.
Now I have heard great things about the diva cup and after having it stuck inside of me for a day and a half, besides the being stuck part, I would have to give rave reviews for this contraption.
I didn't have a single leak while I was plugged up. It was great. So anyways. I go to have this thing removed and I swear, the nurse even had difficulty. He had to use the speculum to widen my vagina because clearly I have issues. That was unpleasant.
After widening, she manages to get a grip on the "stem" and at first nothing, then I feel like I hear a slurping sound, maybe it was the just feeling inside me that resulted in a sound reel in my head, but I do know it felt like my walls were being sucked inside out from that handy little device. I feel that that is what birth feels like.
The blood was everywhere and I felt spent. Used up and gross. I can't say I will be using the diva cup again anytime soon.
Oh. Right. I dropped my toothbrush, with a steripod (container to sterilize your toothbrush) into the toilet.
I have christened both bowls. Can't wait to use a pit latrine.
It was amazing to see so many people come together and remember her life. All of Peace Corps came to show support and it made me feel truly blessed and proud to be able to say that I am now a part of this family.
It was a beautiful memorial. She sounded like an amazingly positive and caring person. I'm glad I got to hear about her life, even if it was just a piece of it.
After the memorial, I traveled to Kampala with the Peace Corps nurse so she could officially and finally remove my implanted diva cup.
Now I have heard great things about the diva cup and after having it stuck inside of me for a day and a half, besides the being stuck part, I would have to give rave reviews for this contraption.
I didn't have a single leak while I was plugged up. It was great. So anyways. I go to have this thing removed and I swear, the nurse even had difficulty. He had to use the speculum to widen my vagina because clearly I have issues. That was unpleasant.
After widening, she manages to get a grip on the "stem" and at first nothing, then I feel like I hear a slurping sound, maybe it was the just feeling inside me that resulted in a sound reel in my head, but I do know it felt like my walls were being sucked inside out from that handy little device. I feel that that is what birth feels like.
The blood was everywhere and I felt spent. Used up and gross. I can't say I will be using the diva cup again anytime soon.
Oh. Right. I dropped my toothbrush, with a steripod (container to sterilize your toothbrush) into the toilet.
I have christened both bowls. Can't wait to use a pit latrine.
Day 4
And today I bargained for material for a traditional dress, learned about Kampala, was in a vehicle that hit the side of a cow's face who was then beaten along with the man who startled it in the first place, nearly lost my life in a stupid van taxi sitting in the front seat with no seat belts, lost my diva cup to my vagina, stuck a cuticle pusher and tweezers in my vagina attempting to do backyard surgery, cut a SIM card to size to learn that my phone actually needs to be activated, and ate in the dark in a sketched out eat in or takeaway in Kampala. Later I dropped my room key into a toilet which held hours of piss as we ran out of water today and was waiting for it to be pumped. I also found that I can not simultaneously stick my index finger and my thumb into my vagina as I am figuring the kegels have worked. Today was a busy, busy day. I can only wait to see what tomorrow holds.
Day 2
Today I had my interview for my top three job preferences. Apparently I didn't do so well on my aspiration statement as they basically told me that on paper I sucked and didn't sound like I wanted to be in Uganda at all.
It went well though. I think I may find my self in Jinja which is more eastern Uganda if I'm not mistaken, which I could be. Jinja is supposed to be an amazing town, very touristy, very happening. We shall see though. we shall see.
I was able to see the moon again tonight. It had to have been full tonight. It was beautiful. A glowing pearl above the deep green sea of trees against the deepening midnight sky. I felt you could drink it in and stay punch drunk for days.
Today is more real for me. I miss home. I miss my family. I found some index cards from my mom today that shattered my heart to pieces. They were stowed away in my backpack (huge hiking one) which I opened for the first time this evening.
I also miss Melinda. Idk how we are going to do this. I'm confident we can, but it's very hard. Very. My heart yearns for her and my soul waits to be entwined again. Three months and we are acting like its forever. Crazy thing is that I see forever. I really and truly do.
I also may turn into a twig as I'm not eating that well. I'm a pickier eater than I anticipated. There were eggs for breakfast this morning and I couldn't stomach it. Not at all. The whites and told tastes funny. So I ended up eating bread an honey. The honey was delicious.
I have also stopped eating meat. I keep wasting the food which I feel so poorly about.
It went well though. I think I may find my self in Jinja which is more eastern Uganda if I'm not mistaken, which I could be. Jinja is supposed to be an amazing town, very touristy, very happening. We shall see though. we shall see.
I was able to see the moon again tonight. It had to have been full tonight. It was beautiful. A glowing pearl above the deep green sea of trees against the deepening midnight sky. I felt you could drink it in and stay punch drunk for days.
Today is more real for me. I miss home. I miss my family. I found some index cards from my mom today that shattered my heart to pieces. They were stowed away in my backpack (huge hiking one) which I opened for the first time this evening.
I also miss Melinda. Idk how we are going to do this. I'm confident we can, but it's very hard. Very. My heart yearns for her and my soul waits to be entwined again. Three months and we are acting like its forever. Crazy thing is that I see forever. I really and truly do.
I also may turn into a twig as I'm not eating that well. I'm a pickier eater than I anticipated. There were eggs for breakfast this morning and I couldn't stomach it. Not at all. The whites and told tastes funny. So I ended up eating bread an honey. The honey was delicious.
I have also stopped eating meat. I keep wasting the food which I feel so poorly about.
Day 3
It's during afternoon training, right before lunch and we have just been told that three volunteers were in a car accident. One of them died.
I cried. Not tears tears, but the silent sad tears, just the single one that rolls down your cheek.
I feel scared for myself and being here in this country the size of Oregon with limited traffic lights and no speed limits and human struggle.
They said to think about this girl and her family and friends and that's exactly what I did. I thought about how this girls parents would feel. Anguish and grief, an immense hole will replace that lantern of pride that once occupied a space in their hearts.
Her friends will never be able to hear stories of her life altering time here in Uganda. No one will know of how her heart was really touched. No one will be reading her updated blog or waiting on her homecoming as it was all stolen away from her.
I don't know her name. I don't know her age. By the time this posts, you'll probably know more than me. I do know that this girl and this tragedy represent for every mother, every father, every brother, son, daughter, sister, friend, aunt, uncle, cousin, lover, she, this represents every fear, every restless night, every gap between texts or email or phone call that has you thinking the worst. Wishing you would have never let go.
And then how did you let go? How do you forgive? How do you dodge guilt that comes knocking for you? How do you manage after something like that?
Life is precious. Fragile. We can all perish at any time, from any means. Here in this rich green paradise we can lose our lives.
I can only hope that she felt fulfilled. That she wasn't robbed, but lived and loved fully. I know that the lives she left behind will forever be touched.
And that so far is day 3. Tears in Uganda.
I cried. Not tears tears, but the silent sad tears, just the single one that rolls down your cheek.
I feel scared for myself and being here in this country the size of Oregon with limited traffic lights and no speed limits and human struggle.
They said to think about this girl and her family and friends and that's exactly what I did. I thought about how this girls parents would feel. Anguish and grief, an immense hole will replace that lantern of pride that once occupied a space in their hearts.
Her friends will never be able to hear stories of her life altering time here in Uganda. No one will know of how her heart was really touched. No one will be reading her updated blog or waiting on her homecoming as it was all stolen away from her.
I don't know her name. I don't know her age. By the time this posts, you'll probably know more than me. I do know that this girl and this tragedy represent for every mother, every father, every brother, son, daughter, sister, friend, aunt, uncle, cousin, lover, she, this represents every fear, every restless night, every gap between texts or email or phone call that has you thinking the worst. Wishing you would have never let go.
And then how did you let go? How do you forgive? How do you dodge guilt that comes knocking for you? How do you manage after something like that?
Life is precious. Fragile. We can all perish at any time, from any means. Here in this rich green paradise we can lose our lives.
I can only hope that she felt fulfilled. That she wasn't robbed, but lived and loved fully. I know that the lives she left behind will forever be touched.
And that so far is day 3. Tears in Uganda.
Day 1
Tonight is my first night in Uganda. I feel like I'm sleeping outside even though I'm in a full bed in a room with a door and a lock. The sounds are unprecedented, only comparable to those when camping. I feel completely at ease though. I know there is very real danger here, but presently I only feel warmth and welcoming from my surroundings and all that I have encountered so far. My favorite part is that all those at the training sight greeted us by saying, "you're welcome." That in itself was heart warming. I have nothing but curiosity and excitement filling me. Tomorrow is the first day of training where we have medical information exchanged and also interview for our site locations. Very exciting. Soon I will have more wildlife to talk about rather than the dogs on our compound and the baby lizard I startled when I snuck outside for a cigarette. Even though I'm here surrounded by tropical plants and balmy weather, it still doesn't quite feel real. No tears in Uganda yet. I'm sure they will surface eventually though.
Day 9
Today reality is setting in. For awhile I thought I was watching a movie starring myself. Today I have come to realize that that is not the truth.
Second day of language training. I feel I'm having a harder time than I think I should. I still am making this language Spanish. It's funny though because whenever I don't know how to say something in Ruyankole, I say it in English in my head first and then automatically say it in Spanish in the same way.
I'm not learning this language. Ugh.
Kampala tomorrow where I get a phone and some internet. Thanks be to God. Since now I just stay up hella late for no particular reason.
I will also get cigarettes. Nothing like my Turkish Royals, but they will have to do.
Second day of language training. I feel I'm having a harder time than I think I should. I still am making this language Spanish. It's funny though because whenever I don't know how to say something in Ruyankole, I say it in English in my head first and then automatically say it in Spanish in the same way.
I'm not learning this language. Ugh.
Kampala tomorrow where I get a phone and some internet. Thanks be to God. Since now I just stay up hella late for no particular reason.
I will also get cigarettes. Nothing like my Turkish Royals, but they will have to do.
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