Day 132

Tuesday September 3rd, 2013

Cut my scalp on the pointy part of a window while walking into a school to do these 'talks.' It hurts so much. 

Many of the schools were either not open, or told me to come back. Unimpressed. Lack of program stresses me out. Entirely. 

I'm craving corn dogs. I want corn dogs in December. Please? 

Why can't it always be hot in NY like here in Uganda? I just want a corndog. 

So here in Uganda I know that everyone gassed and lots of it because everyone is running around with a shit ton of kids, my thing is that unless its a health talk you never hear anyone talking about it or doing it. 

I swear. When do you have time to have sex? When do you have sex? If I was a woman in this society, there wouldn't be any time. I'm cleaning, cooking, watching our boatload of bad ass children running around with knives and machetes and you want to put your feet up and etch me work, then climb on top of me for sex? 

No. 

No. I don't think so. Even if there is sex happening. Other than the man, who is enjoying it? The woman? I think no. Maybe that's why no one talks about it and why you never hear people. 

It happens, the kids are proof, but I'm beginning to wonder if all this women aren't like Mother Mary with sprinkled stardust of immaculate conception throughout Uganda. 

This sounds like a mystery to be solved.  

Day 131

Monday September 2nd, 2013

We are in September baby!! So so so excited!! We are in the ERs!!

I'm going home for Christmas because I'm spoiled! I'm so happy. I get to see my family and my fiancé. My good gol'. I still can't believe that I'm engaged. All I know is that there are only three more months until I can come home. So excited. Now to book.

So I bought an electric kettle the other day, but it was taking me forever to get around and wash it so I could actually use it. I used it today for the first time and holy why did I take so long to make this purchase?! I'm in water heaven! I don't have to worry about boiling water anymore! I only have to worry about the electricity being out, which it actually often is. Right, but still. This thing is AWESOME!! Such a good purchase. Minus the fact that it is entirely plastic.

I swear. Peace Corps is going to end up doing a study to determine long terms effects of daily aluminum and plastic exposure. From our aluminum pots and constant plastic use and inhalation of burning bags and bottles. Yeah. This two years is going to be hell on my health.

Doesn't at all help that I smoke, but I decided that either way due to the pollution that my boogers would still be black. Damn pollution.

So today I also decided that with the help of that other volunteer that we are doing a World AIDS Day event and that it will be a 5k marathon with activity fair here in Mbarara!! I'm so so so very excited! Nervous, but excited. I want to also tell our executive director to see what he says and see if we can swindle money. Let's see.

So it's decided. I asked back home for packages of junk that would be awesome prizes, plus I really just want bubbles. Lets see what comes. 

So beyond my excitement and decision making today, my counterpart informed me that I would be giving talks at schools. Fine. That's fine. 

My issue came in when she told me that I had to talk to an all girls school about the dangers of lesbianism. I'm sorry. What? When she told me that, my heart started beating like crazy, my cheeks flushed, as my ears grew gradually warm as if I was a cartoon character. I didn't know what to say. 

Completely at a loss for words. Nearly started crying after that. I just can't. I don't feel at all comfortable with that. 

I've decided that I can't do it. I won't do it. Bottom line. The way that people think here scares me. A lot. 

Day 130

Sunday September 1st, 2013

Lazy Sunday. I would love Sundays more if I didn't know that Mondays followed them.

Didn't get out of bed today until after two something.

I did manage though to make egg fried rice, an egg sandwich with parmesan and tomatoes, and french fries. Ate some watermelon and cucumber. Yum.

Other than that, didn't do much today. It was just a day for relaxing and talking on the phone. It felt great. I love this loner life.

Very relaxing.

Today my charcoal lady asked me for money. Why? I just wanted to buy my charcoal. Ugh. 

No electricity through to the night. I'm pretty much over that. Yup. 

So I made so much food today so that I can eat all I have before I leave for almost two weeks. We have an all volunteer training/meet and greet. I'm not really excited. It's going to be too many of us. 

Also, my little neighbor boy fell on my verandah today running on my wet cement. I swear. Uganda is the best form of birth control. He had a huge knot on his head. Poor thing. The screaming and the goofing though. Just go home. So you can't get hurt on my porch. Yeah? Please? 

Ugh. Relaxing yet stressful. I just want fully quiet Sundays. 

 

Day 129

Saturday August 31st, 2013

Today I decided to take advantage of the actual not being expected to go into work thing because it is Saturday. I mean I know I do it anyways, but today no one expects me. I get most work done on these days. On the others I feel like I'm obligated to lag about the house and do absolutely nothing.

So I decided to be productive and clean my house. This included sweeping. Intended  to mop, but then realized I hate mopping here. I did do some rearranging which made me feel like I was in a whole new home. I did some sorting of my clothes, some laundry, which I hate doing and takes me forever to do still. I swear that my laundry is never quite clean. Ever.

Today that was the extent of my productivity, minus doing my nails which was a mistake because then my girls wanted their nails done and then all the other girls wanted their nails done. Every single one of them, which then also turned into me being annoyed as everyone decided to just arbitrarily walk into my house. My house is my house.

I wanted to kill my kids and house girls especially since I never let anyone in my house and now this time around you just think it's ok to waltz right in? And it was the new house girl.

Oh right, I got a new house girl who annoys me to no end. My girls to my right with the bad little boy moved while I was away this last time around. It was sad. Apparently people don't really stay in one place. It was nice to not have anyone in there for some time, but this new house girl who belongs to a family across from me calls me mzungu and stares at me and is always on my verandah. She annoys me. I want to be in my compound and left alone. Just leave me alone. Please.

Yup. So that was today. Nothing big. Nothing big at all.

Day 128

Friday, August 30th, 2013

Flushed the baby lizard down the toilet today. Felt terrible, but then he was too scary and I really just wanted to pee. In peace. Not in pieces.

So I went to this meeting today. First real official meeting since I've been at site. I've decided that I hate meetings. Everyone is so long winded and they say a whole lot of nothing. My God.

Went with my supervisor, got me out of another meeting. Unfortunately I think the other one would have lasted not as long which would have been nice. So we are late to the meeting, as per usual, but I swear these hours were a waste of my life. From 8-2. We showed up around 10. They were singing and dancing which is crazy to me.

So there was this one guy who started talking, everyone had been speaking in Ruyankore, not this guy, he speaks english. Wants to make sure everyone (meaning me) can understand what he's saying. He starts talking about pool and how it's the devil's game and how the it originated in South Africa and it came from the white man and how the white ball hits all the colored balls and how it shows the exertion of power over colors. I was blown away. The stares I got during this mans speech. Killed me.

Thankfully shortly after that we left.

I swear these meetings could be an hour. I fell asleep during the meeting a few times and nearly fell out of my chair more than twice. So I've decided that I'm excited to sleep tonight. I've also decided that I will never be used to the body odor here.Today the scent was assaulting my nose. It smelled like a mix of ass and like I was being trapped in a hot box of old stinky weed. I wonder some days if it is me that smells the way the scent sits up under my nose. 

Lord help me.

Day 127

Thursday August 29th, 2013

Late to work as usual. Tired. As usual. Did a lot of nothing, but did do some work. Everyone was so happy to see me back which was sweet, but it's only been like a week. I finished writing minutes, may be possible to win 2 million UGX, except I don't really care about the money. Crazy part is that it's only $800 which don't get me wrong, is still a lot of money, but holy, 2 million translates to not even $1,000. Crazy.

Went to town this afternoon which was wonderful. Went to the little Indian supermarket and broke down and bought cheese and onion Lays chips and Danish butter cookies. I so should have done that so much earlier!! Those chips and those cookies were oh so delicious. Seriously.

So I get home and saw a baby lizard. Like would be cute it's so small, except for the fact that it's still a lizard and pretty swift for its small size. Rude thing. I later killed a roach, then nearly gwished the baby lizard when I want to grab a roll of toilet paper that I then proceeded to drop as I screamed. Stupid baby lizard.

Day 126

Wednesday August 28th, 2013

They tried to charge me 18k for my bus ride home this morning. I told them no. So 15k I paid.

Sat in the same seat back as I did last time I left Kampala. Seems like the same big hipped woman sat next to me too except this one was much nicer, meanwhile I was a grump. 

Stayed awake most of the trip which is highly unlike me. Got fed gonja (cooked banana) which was less sweet than I expected. Tastes like unsweet plaintain. My hippy lady offered me chapati and street meat too. I was less inclined to partake in those. Yuck, especially when she was asking what kind of meat it was and then said it was dog as she still munched away on it. Yuck. 

Got home. Felt tired, but this time I did laundry, cooked avocado curry except I shouldn't have. It was horrible. I ended up throwing the whole batch away. It was disgusting. Made me feel so sick. It really did. 

So then I tried to roast gnuts. Failed at that too. I give up tonight. I really do. I'm too tired for all of this. Oh well. Next time.

Bed now since it is much later than I had ever intended to be sleeping.

Day 125

Tuesday August 27th, 2013

MRI day. I'm freaking out just a bit. 

To settle my nerves I decide to eat. Yum. Ate the place I gorged and had the amazing chicken and mushroom and mashed potatoes. Yeah yum that place. Actually I was very disappointed as my burger was made of pork not beef and had many a bones in it. 

Ugh.

Day 124

Monday August 26th, 2013

Got a call as I'm getting ready for work today to come on back to Kampala. Seriously? Apparently they want me to get an MRI.

Am I dying? But seriously? For an MRI? Not impressed. And I might have been on time for work today.

Oh well. So I make it for the post bus, which is coming from Kabale and so it's already full. Issa, the bus guy has got me covered and he's put some stuff on the bus for camp too which is cool. Except, the seat he sits me in is a three across with a mom and two young girls. I made it a four across.

Kill me. 

So I get on the bus, squish myself in the seat and about five minutes into the ride the kids stop eating whatever it is they were eating and the youngest just heaves forward and literally barfs her brains up at her feet. Just on the floor. She just let it rip. Next thirty seconds, her sister is joining her. 

In my head all I could think was please puke, please don't splatter on my feet. I will cry. I will so cry. First five minutes though? This bus ride is five hours. FIVE HOURS!!

Day 123

Sunday August 25th, 2013

Today the visiting volunteer needed to be up and out of Mbarara quite early this morning to meet her campers and get on the road to Kampala. Great. I'm excited. I love my alone time, it's just difficult for me to always articulate that to others without looking like a total bitch.

Day 122

Saturday August 24th, 2013

Met up with another volunteer. Ran around picking things up for the camps. Did not feel like helping. Had her stay with me because I felt bad. I always feel bad. I really like my space, but I also really hate being a bitch. Sometimes.

Besides, she turned out to be pretty cool to hang with. She's also a teammate, which was nice to be around because I felt that I could somewhat be me. More free, more open. 

Made spaghetti and oh I forgot to mention that when I got to Kampala this time, my mom's package was there!! Parmesan cheese!! And amazing jerky that I ate before I even made it back to Mbarara and gummies!! Three huge big bags of gummy bears. Target brand, but hey, I'm not complaining. I love packages. I also realized why I couldn't find my camelbak back home. My mom sent it to me in my package. Good thing I still had the lid.

Day 121

Friday August 23rd, 2013

I should have stolen more tampons.

Bled through one of my two pairs of panties while I slept. So instead of waking up at a normal hour for the bus, I woke up at 5:30 am and decided to walk the all but barren streets of Kampala to the 24hr Nakumatt for pads since clearly my heavy flow is giving it to tampons. Hate my period.

So after placement of my pad I traveled to the post bus so I could get back to Mbarara. Had my bags sniffed. Legit. Sort of.

Day 120

Thursday August 22nd, 2013

This morning, I brushed my teeth with Sambuca flavored toothpaste. It was so gross it was comforting. Made me miss London. Bad. Me and the other volunteer also woke up to a picture of Jeremiah above our beds that we didn't once notice the day before. 

Jeremiah is 3 and likes to play with balls. He is also a creeper.

Oh and right. I didn't bring panties either. Well not enough. Oh and I'm starting my period. Did I bring tampons or the hellish diva cup? Nope. Not a thing. 

So more realized poor planning and they eyes of a ever watching photo child are how I start my morning. Splendid. If not for the Sambuca toothpaste I would swear I was dead and woke up in hell, but I guess that could be argued.

Day 119

Wednesday August 21st, 2013

So. About that phone call I made yesterday. Yup. I would wake up this morning and the tingling would be slightly less intense aka it's getting better. Ugh. 

I didn't want to travel to Kampala today. Fucking bus. Fucking five hours. Fucking leg.

It would also so be my luck that the driver was late by an hour. Stresses me out. Really does, but on the flip side, I was able to have two cigarettes instead of one this go round.

Day 118

Tuesday, August 20th 2013

I decided to finally call Peace Corps today about my leg issue seeing that it hasn't gotten better. This was after I promised another volunteer that I would be around and load things onto a bus for her so that it could effectively reach Kampala. I ended up being a liar seeing how PC wanted me to travel the next day to get my leg checked out. Blah,

I now get to miss a meeting at Nile Breweries, my favorite beer here in Uganda aka no free beer for me. 

Went to Ntare Youth Wing today the branch off of AIC and met with Louis. I can't help them. He's too on top of everything. There is nothing for me to do. They do not need the help of a mzungu, this one in particular.

That walk from home to Ntare was quite unenjoyable. I hate sweating here and try to avoid it on nearly every occasion that I can. Clearly I didn't avoid it today. At least I got my exercise for the day in.

My supervisor told our driver to pick me up early tomorrow so I could get the bus early enough, but not have to walk. He doesn't seem impressed. He's supposed to get me at 6/6:30. It's so early. I don't wanna. 

So yay for packing, for how long, I'm not sure. 

Yuck.

Day 117

Monday August 19 2013

Back to Monday. 

Day two of before and after pics. I have no butt. Thank you mom. 

I also have been looking at wedding themes and colors for nearly three hours this morning before work. I think I have a problem. 

As a result I was late to work. As usual.

Day 111

Tuesday, August 13 2013

So the electricity has been out. I swear. I never realized what a luxury it was to have electricity always. Whenever you expect it, it is there. Aren't we spoiled. 

I just thought electricity was a thing. Even when you hear that there will be no electricity somewhere you don't really get it until you experience it. 

I haven't decided which is worse. Never having electricity or having it and then it going out. Those without it will probably say that it's worse to not have it, but then again only if they are not accustomed to at some point in there lives having it consistently. And those who have it and it goes out will probably choose to not have it at all because you don't know a good thing until its gone. Unless they've never had it before. 

Right. 

I'm most definitely making my head hurt with all that jazz. Enough. 

So lately, I've been making really spicy food. I'm beginning to wonder why I'm doing that. I wish I would stop. I swear either my stomach is going to be able to put food back or it's going to make everything look like its been through a juice blender. 

I'm hoping for the latter. 

I'm ready for solid movements again. Will it ever be my life? 

Day 116

Sunday August 18 2013

Sundays are nearly as bad as Mondays except you don't have to wake up as early. Unfortunately I wake up early anyways. 

So I decided that I needed to start working out again. All the weight I loss I'm getting it back. Fucking Africa. Trickster. 

Also if this leg thing is circulatory, then I most definitely need to start. Lets work on it. Took before and after pics. And showered. Oh yum. 

Worse part is that I decided for my workout to be insanity. I figured I is it before so I am do it again. Nope. 

Africa stole my muscles when it made me skinny. So weak and this was only the fit test. I also had difficulty doing some of the exercises due to my lame foot. Which made me nervous. Mountain climbers and jumping were not easy. I was scared my foot was going to give out fully. 

Haven't seen any roaches lately. Which makes me happy. 

I'm also still cooking in a sagyrie. I'm over that so tonight I ate cabbage and some oodles and noodles African brand. 

The cabbage was enh. Could have done better, but it was my first time so... I'm cutting myself slack. 

The gross thing about dinner is that the cabbage wa filled with little caviar looking bug eggs through the first five layers. And yup. I still ate it. Ugh. 

My standards have lowered considerably. It makes me sick. 

Well clearly not because I'm gaining eight and still eating the food. My God who am I becoming? 

Day 115

Saturday August 17

Lazy Saturday. Except I'm pretty sure every day is lazy for me. Decided to clean. Didn't quit smoking. Leg still acting funny. Got an email from a dear friend in the Americas. It was great. 

He started his own archive business. Sweet!! So proud of him, so he sent me the link for his website. 

http://www.archivesinthebuff.squarespace.com/

Kid's pretty legit. It may also be in part to the fact that he is in no way shape or form a kid. Possibly. 

So today as I'm cleaning which I enjoy doing as I never feel fully clean here, I discover a frog. I think the frog is fine. It's tiny. No harm done. Oh boy oh boy was I wrong. 

My kids screamed when they saw the frog. Screamed and ran. And when I left it on my verandah, they were very upset about that. So I swept him off which was silly because then you couldn't see him at all as he was so small and the color of our concrete. 

Someone is going to smoosh him. 

Then I will be the one screaming. 

Day 114

Friday August 16, 2013

We are going to the Dominican baby!!!

So exciting!! And it's cheap. Ok. So no more Cape Town. Now it's white sand and real tans. I'm so excited for this. Like can't contain myself. This is what's keeping me busy and alive at the moment. 

I search for all inclusives, right I forgot to mention that we are doing an all inclusive so we can be spoiled before we settle into our African lives. 

So in love with this idea. So in love!!!

Can not wait to book!! And be spoiled. The only issue is that I don't have much time, like maybe ten days available, but I hear that you can take up to six in advance, but you count weekends and travel days as part of your vacation. Come on Peace Corps. Really? 

We will see what happens with that. 

Day 113

Thursday August 15 2013

So it was decided a few days ago that I would be flown home for Christmas. I am a spoiled spoiled girl. :) 

So for the past three days I have been looking up flights for me round trip and for Mine one way. I love searching for flights and getting the best deals. It's like an Easter egg hunt except without padding. So maybe it's rugby? Except no. Easter egg hunt. 

The other cool bit about that is that we are planning another trip!! Bahamas or the Dominican or the City! Traveling baby!

So excited to have something to look forward to. Am I ever going to do work here? Ever? Ugh. 

Well, back to Expedia. Although kayak has to be my favorite. 

Day 112

Wednesday, August 14 2013

Rocking Wednesday! Not. 

My foot/ankle is still bugging me an I hate that I'm walking funny. Everyone states at me even more now. Excessive nonsense. 

My landlord's friend (I think that's who she is) asked me today what's wrong with my foot. I could only tell her I don't know because its true. I don't know. 

I wish I did. It's so tingled. 

Oh well. I'm sure it will resolve itself. 

Maybe I should stop smoking. This might be a circulation thing. 

Tonight I made curry. My kids love watching me cook. Since I let them try some food, they now want to try everything, except if its spicy. 

It has become a mission of mine to make spicy food not only because I love it, but also because they hate it. 

Today's batch was especially spicy. My ears and eyeballs were sweating. I must must tell my father about this. He will cry real tears. Can't wait. 

So much for that solid movement though.  

Day 110

August 12, 2013

Kill me. Please. I really do hate Mondays here just as much as I do in America.

I'm also very tired of going to work and doing nothing. Although I did go today.

Blah.

Ok. So lately, I have been on high alert for bugs. I really want this bug thing to be over with.

Just as I was getting into bed tonight I made a pact with myself that if there was ever a cockroach in my bed, that I would successfully and as straight away as possible take myself back to America. On Peace Corps dime of course.

Well, no sooner than I made that very serious commitment to myself in my head did I pull back my mosquito net to lay my head on my pillow and there, lo and behold. A tiny speck of a dead cockroach smooshed and next to my pillow.

I quit.

How in the hell am I supposed to protect myself from these things if they are smaller than a grain of sand? I swear I have bugs living in my brain.

Bird brain? No. Bug brain and I'm itchy.