Who Does Diets?!

I am starving. I decided that I would only bring cherries, grapes, a cucumber, and a tomato to work with me today. I think I hate myself.

I have been running. Ran again today and not the drunk gotta go running, but the healthy down the street running. Went with mom this morning and I love her, but never again. She stops and walks, then runs again and I can't. When I stop I think that the run is over. My body thinks we are stopping for good and that inner monologue that I had going gets all jumbled and I lose my place and then my feet start to drag and I become very aware of how effing tired I am and how my muscles are screaming at me because they are sore and hurt and I nearly found myself run over by a car this morning. Not a good look. And so thanks to all this new found running, I am attempting to eat in a healthy manner, but I want more substance. I thought the fruit would make me happy, but I am just sad.

Yesterday, I have to head out to my babysitter family's house and so I go, things are fine, just checking up because they are going on a Disney cruise to Alaska. Jealous for one, but for two we are just going over things as they left today and I won't be seeing them until they return next Tuesday. Well anyways, just hanging out chit chatting then I decide ok, I am all the way out here (Orchard Park), I may as well head to the wonderful Tj Maxx out here. I haven't been interested in carrying bags lately and so I am contemplating whether I should bring one in with me to the store. I choose yes, but I happen to have two bags in my junkard of a car and so I choose the smaller of the two. Mistake. As I place my phone, my passport (don't ask) and my wallet in this tiny satchel, I lock the doors, close them and walk maybe ten feet away. It is then that I look in the little bag searching for keys, that I undoubtedly know I left in the car seeing that I do this quite often. The only good part about this situation, with my keys staring at me through the passenger window fitted nicely into the ignition, was that I was in the Tj Maxx parking lot. If I had been else where I am not sure how this situation would have gone.

Now I say that I chose the wrong bag because my larger bag had the spare key that I helped myself to the morning of the panty flagging and what not at the gas station.  It would happen that I would not replace the spare thinking that it wouldn't be necessary. Hello self!! Have you not met your-self?! I'm going to need me to get that together. 

I have currently been at work since 9:15 am. It is now 12:15 pm. Three hours. I have five more to go. I am not sure I will make it. I have also done maybe twenty minutes of work. I have been half working, half searching for fall shoes to purchase and then place on my feet. I have shopping issues. It is decided.

I need to input 14 things into the system which shouldn't take long at all, but I need to start for it to get done. I need a vacation.  The state is coming in here tomorrow. We have a grant from them that funds our HIV initiative and so they want to make sure that we are not only implementing it effectively, but also properly and at all. So stressed. So much to do in preparation and I feel as if I am the only one cleaning things up. Hello?! Whatever. Lame.

I lied, I have also been filling myself with artificial sugars in the form of juicy tangy fruity skittles. Damn the little buggers.

I have also been propositioned the selling of my vehicle. I don't believe that I am ready to give her up yet. The other day I looked at her and it was like looking at an old family pet who hobbles up and down the stairs, looking at you with the pitiful eyes as if to question you, why, oh why did you have stairs put here? Well that was how my baby was looking, pitiful and sad and beat up and worn down and just plainly and simply, old. My baby is old. She has skin cancer on her front hood and no amount of wax is going to help her. Key lesson that sunscreen is very important. She can't go as fast as she used to, just a slow little gal. Makes me so sad, but at the end of it all, she was my first car and I love her. I can't imagine driving any other car. I don't think I'd fit in them. I just love my baby. The Money Maker. She's a trooper. That's what her name should really be. Trooper. Sounds rugged and manly, which I will switch to androgynous. Just saying.

The whole point of me thinking back on my baby like that is because someone said that they wanted to purchase her and they can't!! I love her too much. I can't let her go! It is too difficult to think of. I can't say that anyone would in their right mind want to purchase and that is the key word, purchase my car. She is old and nearly ready to fall apart, well I think she has a year or two left in her still, but I don't think that she should be switched over owners. The depression may set in and then it will all be downhill. I love her and she loves me. We are good for each other. Everyone knows it is me coming down the street. I just love her. I can't do it. I can't. I have to break the news to the potential, who no longer has potential, buyer.

I think that I must either get some work done or go to lunch. Tough decision.

I also just received a phone call from a vision center. Darnation. Seeing that I haven't been able to contact my patient for the past week now. It makes me quite sad. I must admit that I hate cricket telephones. They do me no good.

I have decided to be productive. Maybe now I will have my cucumber.