Since finishing school about two and a half months ago I cannot get London off my mind. I was lucky enough to be able to spend my last semester abroad and I absolutely fell in love with the lifestyle. There was so much history and the arts and I couldn't help but fall. So I have been devising a plan with a friend that I made over there to move back in a years time. Things have been falling in place and by the end of August I should know whether I am making a permanent move or if I will just work there for two years.
My family and friends are unimpressed by the idea seeing that they did just get me back not too long ago. That doesn't bother me. The fact that my mother, just as I am leaving the house to head back to my headache of a workplace, that we will be discussed later, makes a comment that is sticking to my ribs like hot fudge sundaes to the cheeks of small children is what is bothering me.
While I was in London, I didn't have the best diet seeing that I never had the best eating habits to begin with, but put that on a college students budget whose money has been depleted by the gross conversion of dollar to pound and you will find that what you can and cannot eat to be even more limiting.
Needless to say, I gained a bit of weight. I didn't think it too dramatic, most likely due to the fact that I see myself everyday in the mirror and in the shower and other places where I, unlike the masses am able to take full advantage of the nakedness and proportions of my figure. I also was greeted with many oohs and ahhhs over this new found body seeing that it had provided me with a lovely new ass-essory. I also found myself spilling over in areas that were usually quite controlled. I took to this with the giddy glee of a junior high girl who has blossomed over the summer just in time for high school to begin. I was pleased, but with those added assets, it was bound to be that I no longer had a washboard stomach, which to be honest, I hadn't had since I was in junior high.
I gave it little thought until I returned home and all the clothes that I wanted to throw in the air (minus heavy denim as the heavy implies possible pain) and have rain upon me in utter ecstasy for having a full wardrobe with a plethora of options again, managed barely just past my new and shapely thighs. Having to tuck in shirts that began to portray an uncanny resemblance to the tops of muffins (hence muffin top) raised an eyebrow of concern, but again not much was done. I had a butt!!
It was not until yesterday when my physical strengths were tested that made me realize that I wanted to get back into shape, not because I knew my weight, which I later made the mistake of finding out, but because I wanted to get my strength back having in previous years prided myself in the hidden talent of being able to carry old school 32" televisions without help from shirtless testosterone riddled males, although the visual would have been a treat. I could still lift heavy things, but my arms had lost their definition and when working out with Jillian Michaels, who I yelled at from on the floor, I was barely able to do five push ups without my arms burning as if someone was holding blue fire torches underneath them. It was awful!!
Ok, enough of the background, let's get to the kicker. So as I am leaving to head back to work from break and my mother comes in and says, "So, if you move back to London and then you come back home, when you come back will you be 500lbs?"
If you are reading this and you know me personally, then you can only imagine the face that i had on at that point. All I could manage was, "What?" Completely taken aback, oh right. I guess now would be a good time to say that I weigh more than my mother. Yes, it's true. I'm not proud of it, but it is true. I hear that things like this happen all the time, soon it shall come to an end and one day we will laugh about this, but now it is time to be serious. So after my confused what, my mother explains to me that she is concerned about my health. Yeah, ok. Got it. Me too. My mental health and so I don't lose it right now in the middle of the day with still three more hours to go, I think that I should just walk out the door. Thanks mom. That really was great for my self esteem. Ego-0. Mom-2.5 (the point 5 is for her sneaky delivery and a .25 for the attempted clean up at the end) New score- Ego- still 0, Mom-2.75. Fantastic.
All I want to do now is order a $10 pizza deal from pizza hut.
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