They say you don't know what you have until it is gone. What if even then you don't realize? What if you let something truly amazing pass you by and you never even know? That to me sounds like a terrible scenario. What if you do realize, but you don't want that person to know that you know that they are the best thing to come into your life? What if you never let them know just how special you believe them to be and they walk? They walk away and you, you can't help but think how could they, when really, you probably made it one of the hardest/easiest things for that other person to decide. Just wondering.
Have you ever kissed someone and even though you liked them entirely much pre kiss, post left you feeling a bit deflated? A kiss can say more than any words can. Kisses are a make it or break it kind of thing. I mean I can remember there was this one time that I really liked this kid and we got along so nicely and so of course we are going to kiss and I'm in highschool so heck yeah, fast as ever, well not too fast, but kissing, yeah. So we kiss and not to say that I am a pro or anything, by no means, but this kid is knocking teeth and too much tongue, gross. Isn't it bad enough that your spit is in my mouth? Why must it also be on my face where I can tell that it is coating my skin because it is warm and drying and wet and disgusting. Yeah, no. Seriously? I can't. So needless to say I had to hightail it out of there and we were soon nothing more than friends again.
Have you ever broken up with someone and they used to do this one thing during kissing or some other intimate time and then they did something new and all you could think was, wait where did you learn this from, when they have been swearing up and down that they haven't been doing anything but sitting at home in the dark with tear stained faces lamenting over you. Right and I am the Queen of England. I had been thinking about these things, so I just thought I would share.
Now I'm not sure, but I think I have lost my funny. I think I lost it along with my drive to do anything. Remember that bit about me possibly being a sloth? Yeah, I really think it is true now. For the last three days I have been urging myself to start this running thing again, I even found myself running in the office this afternoon from my little area to the back of the building to pick up something I printed and I got a little worried because I didn't want to stop. I ran half the way back and then had to tell myself to stop, that I was wearing grown up clothes at a grown up job. That did the trick. So, this morning, like it has been for the past three mornings, my phone goes off as the first of three alarms at 6:24 am. I give myself three just in case the first is too early for me. The next alarm is set for 6:33 am and the final one is set for 6:43 am. Now, instead of letting them all play through like I did the first morning, this morning I woke to the first alarm and subsequently switched all the other alarms to a seven o'clock time instead of the six. I decided as I have been doing ever other day, that instead of running, I would rather sleep that extra hour. I am a lazy something or other. I need to get motivated. As if fitting into my clothes wasn't enough motivation or a flat stomach opposed to the muffin top. We shall see.
I also believe that I may be an alcoholic without the meetings. My coworker just came into my office and handed me a shotter of Puerto Rican Rum and then told me that she knew it would make me happy. I think there is a problem when people see alcohol as my gateway to happiness, although I would really like a nice cold beer right about now. It would make me a bit happy. Does my enjoyment of alcohol and my use of it to relax constitute itself as a problem? Or does the fact that I took the little mini shot bottle back nearly the second I realized what it was the problem? I also told my mother on my lunch break today that I wanted a glass of wine. She has scolded me time and time again on drinking on the job, even if it is on my lunch break on the job and so I retracted the statement quickly and then proceeded to walk out the door.
My mother thinks I have a problem. I think we should discuss it over drinks.
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