So farting, passing gas, flatulence, it is all a part of life and happens to everyone. Why then are we conditioned to think that it is so bad? I mean I understand the smell and sometimes the sound can be a bit much, but it's just gas. It shall soon dissipate.
Now this is not a call to just start passing gas at the dinner table or out at the bar or any sort of crowded space, but don't squeeze your butt cheeks together so hard that you've adapted kegels for your anus.
So yesterday at work I'm in my office. Nobody has come to see me in quite some time so I'm relaxed, getting stuff done and feeling good. Next thing you know my stomach does a little gurgle.
My stomach gurgles and I realize it is this horrible gas that has been following me around for the past week. Not nice.
So I feel comfortable and safe in the sense that no one is going to come in even though my door is open I let her rip. It was a silent one and I go about my business typing away. Literally thirty seconds later I think I'm in the clear and my boss starts talking to me. I talk back, we do the back forth office talk all the time. No need for panic, except next thing I know is that she comes walking into my office to hand me something and all I can do is will her with my mind to stay away.
The cloud has begun to spread! And it was quiet because it was a bit deadly. I swear something died inside of me. Needless to say she walks right over to my desk and continues to talk to me while my brain is firing questions at her. Questions such as, " don't you smell that?" " why do you keep coming closer?" " can't you leave already?"
I swear she smelled my ass. Feces particles traveling though her nostrils. Gross boss lady. Gross.
Needless to say I haven't learned my lesson as in typing this I let two more bombs go. Thank goodness though this time no one has come around. I think I should air out.
Time for a workday round.
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