Last night was a mistake. I had to be up early this weekend and now... Shoot me.
Introduction ceremony. My supervisor took me this week to purchase traditional dress for the function so that's how I get dressed to meet the bride to be in town. Except I don't meet her. I meet her friends.
Then I meet her. It's 8:30/9 in the morning on a Saturday and I'm walking through town dehydrated and still a little drunk with droopy eyes that I tried to wake up with mascara meeting people for the first time. This impression isn't the best one to make.
Anyways I'm around and it's not at all time to be dressed up, so I Em up making my way home, changing, trying to convince my houseguest to come to the party with me as I'm feeling bad that I won't be around. She says no and stays put.
Fine. I go back, now just in regular clothes and I'm supposed to be being helpful, (un)fortunately my lack of useful local language has rendered me quite useless, except for setting up floral arrangements and sodas for the guest.
So I have my rented outfit waiting to put back on until I'm told that hey, you're in the ceremony. Here I was, token mzungu dancing sober and trying to listen to cues in a language that sounds like nothing but sounds to me. The only nice thing is that I was paid 5k for attending and another 5k for being in the bridal party. Too bad one of them was stolen. Jerks.
Eating today was something of a chore. First, I was starving as the hangover began to wear off, but all they had to serve in the beginning of the day was katogo served with intestines. Personally, I can't. I really just can't manage to eat anything mixed with intestines. Not to mention that I don't actually care for this plaintain based dish to begin with. I couldn't manage. I nearly puked when the lady next to me started moving around the intestines on her plate.
Barf.
The next bit of food I had was eaten with my hands and all I could think was all the many hands I had shaken. I was over that then too. And it was cold. Essentially today was not a day of eating.
Thankfully my guest wanted to meet up and go elsewhere, so once the after party commenced, I decided to go ahead and leave and meet up with her at a restaurant where I most definitely ate, but not before my coworkers brother proposed the idea of marriage to me in his traditional clown suit wear. I swear the men at this function (those in the family) looked like ring leaders at the circus, but not plain I'm wearing my black ring leader suit, but the I need to make a statement and sales are low royal blue suit. I was terrified. Not to mention the shoes.
If I was afraid of clowns, I would have pissed myself. Instead I somehow managed to wiggle away, just to come back in the end, with my guest, where I became trapped by my coworkers brother and his belly. God he was so drunk and gross. By the end of the night he managed to fall asleep in a chair out on the lawn. Good for you creepy clown man. Good for you.
So finally, it's time to go home. Me and my guest get to my house and when I walk in the door all my eyes see are crumbs and spilled pepsi. What in the hell?! You've been in my house literally all day and this is how you leave it? Pepsi spills and you just leave it, knowing my fear and aversion of bugs?! You've got to be kidding me.
So instead of going to sleep at two in the morning, I instead came up with rules for my house the hotel cleaned up the crumbs and Pepsi and did squats.
Oh and the best bit, chick thinks she has bed bugs. From my bed. Check our cleanliness habits.
Oh and out of my bed, bitten girl. Ew.
I hate people.
Fine. I go back, now just in regular clothes and I'm supposed to be being helpful, (un)fortunately my lack of useful local language has rendered me quite useless, except for setting up floral arrangements and sodas for the guest.
So I have my rented outfit waiting to put back on until I'm told that hey, you're in the ceremony. Here I was, token mzungu dancing sober and trying to listen to cues in a language that sounds like nothing but sounds to me. The only nice thing is that I was paid 5k for attending and another 5k for being in the bridal party. Too bad one of them was stolen. Jerks.
Eating today was something of a chore. First, I was starving as the hangover began to wear off, but all they had to serve in the beginning of the day was katogo served with intestines. Personally, I can't. I really just can't manage to eat anything mixed with intestines. Not to mention that I don't actually care for this plaintain based dish to begin with. I couldn't manage. I nearly puked when the lady next to me started moving around the intestines on her plate.
Barf.
The next bit of food I had was eaten with my hands and all I could think was all the many hands I had shaken. I was over that then too. And it was cold. Essentially today was not a day of eating.
Thankfully my guest wanted to meet up and go elsewhere, so once the after party commenced, I decided to go ahead and leave and meet up with her at a restaurant where I most definitely ate, but not before my coworkers brother proposed the idea of marriage to me in his traditional clown suit wear. I swear the men at this function (those in the family) looked like ring leaders at the circus, but not plain I'm wearing my black ring leader suit, but the I need to make a statement and sales are low royal blue suit. I was terrified. Not to mention the shoes.
If I was afraid of clowns, I would have pissed myself. Instead I somehow managed to wiggle away, just to come back in the end, with my guest, where I became trapped by my coworkers brother and his belly. God he was so drunk and gross. By the end of the night he managed to fall asleep in a chair out on the lawn. Good for you creepy clown man. Good for you.
So finally, it's time to go home. Me and my guest get to my house and when I walk in the door all my eyes see are crumbs and spilled pepsi. What in the hell?! You've been in my house literally all day and this is how you leave it? Pepsi spills and you just leave it, knowing my fear and aversion of bugs?! You've got to be kidding me.
So instead of going to sleep at two in the morning, I instead came up with rules for my house the hotel cleaned up the crumbs and Pepsi and did squats.
Oh and the best bit, chick thinks she has bed bugs. From my bed. Check our cleanliness habits.
Oh and out of my bed, bitten girl. Ew.
I hate people.
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